If the mods don't object to this as a forum game I'd like to revive this. The last version we had was hilarious. Let's see if we can get to 1000 again.

1. Spend as much time around Uranium as you want. You may look hideous, but you'll increase your life for 200 years.
2. If you read the same book 50 times, you'll learn something new every time.
3. Asians can have the deep, iconic voice of a white guy.
4. 1 year old babies can read books.
5. Robots do not make good doctors, or cake cutters
6. Robots don't like zomb...I mean ghouls.
7. By 2077, we'll be able to make a realistic battle simulation that interacts with the person doing it through a neural interface, but they can't make computer screens in color
8. In case of a nuclear holocaust, nobody will be able to figure out how to make a car work again, but the government will have fleets of helicopters that were only experimental before the war.
9. All old men sound exactly the same, same for all old women.
10. You can take a dress off of a dead woman and magically change it into a suit, you're just that skilled.
11. All ammunition, even missiles, are made out of air.
12. If you want to put away your flamethrower, just make it vanish with your Harry Potter skillz while keeping the fuel tank on your back, and it will magically turn visible again when you need it.

Keep it goin'

12.soup is a great source of health and rads

14. 200 year old radio equipment still works with out maintenance.

15. But televisons don't
16. Three Dog thinks he does a spot-on Eden impersonation. No, you didn't 'get me' Three Dog, shut up and play music.

Humans can be raised by giant ants.

Videogames in general have taught me one truth.

If you find food on the ground, eat it.

Oh, and ninjas are common.

17. Severed limbs will continue to flame forever.
18. Bullet shells are eco-friendly, as they dissolve after 3 seconds.
19. Serious cancer can be fixed with a strange orange liquid.

20. War Never Changes...

21. You can beat up aliens with you bare fists

22: you cant kill kids

23. In the 1800's Calamity Jane was a prosttute. In the year 2277, Calamity is a cowboy hat-wearing african american sheriff.
24. Water can't be purified, but a magic needle will heal your broken ribs in one usage

25:The only animals able to survive a nuclear holocause are Roaches, Scorpions, Mole Rats, Dogs, Bears, and ants. Everything else dies or mutates past being what it once was.

26:You can make nuclear engines explode by shooting them.

27:Heads allways get blown off cleanly, and no longer bleed after being severed.

28:Pool Cues kill people faster than .32 Caliber Revolvers.

30:The chinese cant make a pistol that can do sh!t, but their assault rifles beast.

31: in the year 2077 we will engage in a war with the chinese
32:in the year 2077 WE WILL ALL DIE!!
33:by the year 2077 we will have laser rifles,pistols, plasma rifles and pistols
34:aliens have been abducting us since the dawn of time
35: we will have iron-man suits by the year 2077

36.No matter how many times we shoot important people they always go unconcious.

37:you can shoot someone in their head five times and he will still be alive/
37:by the year 2077 the chinese will make a chinese AK-47

They do. Kalashnikov himself even commented on them (of course he cited them as being illegal) but they do make Chinese AK-47s.

38. By 2277 there will be No Indian Asians, only orientals

woah i didnt know that....
39:i accidentally made 2 37's
40:your charcter in fallout 3 NEVER uses the bathroom,vomits,or gets sick
41:people by the year 2277 will know how to use guns from birth

42. Radiation is the new duct tape.

43. All clothes come equipped with magnets, allowing you to just toss your weapon on the back of a pair of PJs without any kind of holder.

44. You can travel 200 miles with a hand cart (to go to the Pitt)

45. Even if someone was wearing a shirtless outfit, they'll have an undershirt and underwear if you remove it from them.

46. Squatting down is the secret to being a ninja

47. Aliens have some [censored] flying skills, maybe the air is too heavy.

48. After nuclear armageddon, it will never rain or snow again.

49. If turtles are exposed to too much radiation, they look like they're from the Blue Man Group.

50. It's possible to take a 5 inch long lizard and use a virus to mutate it into the most horrific creature ever.

51. After 200 years, no robots have run out of batteries.

52. John Wilkes Booth gets a BIG fanclub.

53. Ghosts do exist!

54. DEATH IS A PREFFERABLE ALTERNATIVE TO COMMUNISM!!!

55. Somehow a nuclear explosion will hurl the head of Lincoln's statue to a building halfway across Maryland.

56. Soda can survive a nucliar war!

54. People will store radioactive material anywhere and everywhere.

55. Fuselages from 100 planes can be turned into a town.

59. The world after a nuclear attack will have and look like some of our most memorable iconic movies and video games.

60. The Bethesda Staff never looked better. :tops:

61. You can shoot teddy bears out of a home made weapon and kill people with it. :celebration: