I gotta say, I'm not sure we've agreed on anything.
Indeed.
It's almost like we want two different games...
Just as Velorien, I tend to disassociate myself from my character in terms of identity and see the game as a story that follows her adventures. I narrate the character's actions and occasionally internal monologues, but like to think of her as her own person. Therefore, I always play in the 3rd person perspective and absolutely despise it when I have to switch to the 1st. Whenever Oblivion forcibly pulled me into first person in dialogues or forced me to do so myself because otherwise aiming with bows and magic was impossible, it felt like reading a perfectly well-flowing story that suddenly changed the form of narration for no other reason than to leave the reader confused.
This, I can sympathize with... even though i'm a 1st person fan.
People who pick a certain view often do so for a reason - not just because of slight preference. The game should never force the player-character into another view to perform a certain task. Little things irritated me in Oblivion, like being sent into 3rd person when sitting down; and it bugs the hell out of me that my character may be thrown into 3rd person to perform certain finisher moves in Skyrim.