Myself, I'm generally a 'mostly aesthetics' person. I do eventually draw a line when things go overboard, but being happily shallow and relatively easily impressionable, I tend to lean towards the sense-pleasing and eye-candy as long as it does not fly in the face of my gaming experience. In Bloodrayne the heroine fights in the most suicidal stilettos I've ever seen, in Bayonetta there is not a single thing that's not over-the-top, and in Dragon Age 2 epic flair and flashiness accompanies every animation. Do I mind? Rarely - it suits these games. Sensible or not, I believe games to be a form of escapism, where such things can be forgiven and, more often than not, desirable.
In case of TES, however, I'm a bit closer to the middle of the road, as the games are lacking in both respects (I'm speaking of Oblivion and Morrowind here, I don't know the rest). I wish it was possible to easily create an attractive character without ever having to resort to mods; I wish magic was both visually appealing and a force to be reckoned with; I wish animations were more varied, more natural, prettier, livelier and preferably gender-and-race-distinctive (women don't move like men and Argonians or Khajits don't move like humans - for some reason Morrowind had it right and Oblivion didn't). I wish there was more variation and customisation potential among armours, clothes and weapons - I wish I had a choice between elaborate dresses like those from Shivering Isles and simpler, but not uglier ones; I wish to wear a robe with daedric pauldrons over a steel armour like I could in TES 3; and finally, I wish I could mix and match distinct makes of a class of armour - chainmails made by different craftsmen, sets of ebony from different ages, a flattering elven armour with a bulky, Oblivionish one... This could go on, but in short, I believe a reasonable equilibrum can be reached and aesthetics don't have to be mutually exclusive with realism - they can actually enhance each other. After the disappointment of Oblivion, Skyrim must improve both in equal measure.
There was a lot more I wanted to say, but having run out of inspiration, I shall leave it here. I'm more interested in what you would like to say.