All journeys begin with a single step

Post » Sat May 28, 2011 5:18 am

The brisk chill bit into the exposed flesh of the adventurers. Had they made a mistake by venturing into this decolate place? The quest set before them was one many had failed time and time again. Already the environment alone was beginning to challenge the longevity of their stamina as a group.

Trudging through the challenging terrain was only the beginning. The real goal is still in the far distance; however, the group chosen for this task was the chosen few. Would this miscreant band of adventurers prevail? Would they even survive the night? The mysteries of these questions would only be unveiled as the ripples in time unfolded. If the group does survive, and persist through the milestones ahead - the world as a whole would know each of their names. No! They would revere their names and honor their very lineages.

These chosen 4 adventurers had received the calling, and answered it. As they sat in the great hall awaiting the purpose of their summons, they knew not those who sat at their sides at the table. What they did know is that of those sitting at the table, no two were alike, and it appeared social class was not a commonality between them. The short human-looking scruffy individual who devoured his food and drink with all the vigor of a starved child. The scantally clad female who more often than not seemed lost in her own thoughts as opposed to the here and now. The burley looking male who guarded his food as though it were his possession and from his actions, deemed it guard-worthy. The solemn middle aged woman that seemed to be weighing each person at the table as though she thought they pose a threat. This comprised the occupants of the table. Each from apparent varied social classes, each from different areas judging from the clothing and mannerisms, and lastly, each with very different appearances and personalities.

Could this Motley-Crew band of misfits come together to save the world? First glance would suggest they could not; however, they had the 'calling' so perhaps the group as a whole is the diamond in the rough. Certainly stronger, wiser, and more adept candidates could be chosen... So why these select few? The answers to all these questions would be revealed shortly.

The double doors barring the northend of the hall swung slowly open, allowing the noble figure to stop briefly in the arch to allow his 'guests' time to absorb the scene before them. The long flowing crimson robes adorned with a delicate golden embroidery faceted with rare and precious gemstones held the figure of the man cloaked. Long flowing blond hair falling around a chiseled face that was clean shaven held firm a crown of obvious worth. The crown held 6 even peaks of crested brilliance - crafted of the finest metals and gemstones with elaborate detail. This was man of stature to be sure. The hall fell silent, and the guests paused their indulgence...

The mans voice was angelic in nature, and the sound of voice carried through the hall as smoothly as the air flows over the wings of a bird gliding through a morning meadow. As the hall quieted, and the guests turned to the stranger in the doorway, he took a breath, and stated, "I presume you would like to know why you felt compelled to travel the great distances you have to be here today. I will answer all your questions, but before I do - I believe introductions are in order."


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Kelly John
 
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Post » Sat May 28, 2011 10:48 am

Not bad, for a first-timer.

Edit: Sorry Aspect, like always I mess up what I was going to say.
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Noely Ulloa
 
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Post » Sat May 28, 2011 11:12 am

Great beginning, More More!!!
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Amie Mccubbing
 
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Post » Sat May 28, 2011 6:23 pm

@OP: I like the set-up. Keep it up!


Not bad, for a first-timer.

What a nice way to support a new member Z.... not...
Besides he/she just joined, how do you know it's his/her 1st ever fan-fic?
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Lauren Graves
 
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Post » Sat May 28, 2011 6:13 am

RemkoNL is right, Welcome to the FanFic Forum! I'm sorry, it was early morning when I posted.
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Naughty not Nice
 
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Post » Sat May 28, 2011 2:49 am

Yes, welcome to our forums! :icecream:

This is a nice introduction to what seems what be an interesting adventure. You provide a nice balance of some mood setting, hints of description of the four and pique plenty of interest. Nicely done!

For better or for worse, I have a bit of an editory (is that a word?) eye, and minor mechanical errors seem to leap from the page at me. Please consider the fact that I may point them out as caring, not critical. That said, consider the following:
'Had they made a mistake by venturing into this decolate place?' {desolate}
'The mans voice was angelic in nature,...' {man's}

I look forward to leaning more about the adventure of your fab four (or odd quartet?) ... :foodndrink:
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le GraiN
 
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Post » Sat May 28, 2011 5:41 am

Not bad, for a first-timer.

Nothing constructive in this...

As Acadian said, welcome to the forums. It's good to read a story from another new mind. As you can see, there are many who'll support inspiration. Besides a few spelling and grammar errors, you're on the right track. Also, I think when stating a number, it's a bit more professional to actually spell the number out.
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Steve Smith
 
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Post » Sat May 28, 2011 5:59 pm

Welcome to the forums! I'd offer a fishy stick, but I hear that's fallen out of popularity.

Interesting. For some reason, when you were describing your characters, I was reminded heavily of Dungeons and Dragons. I may be wrong, but it seems you're playing into the archetypes here.

Adventure fics are always fun, and you have a solid method of writing. The only error I spotted the first time through was the word desolate in the first paragraph. On the second read through I spotted scantily, in the third. Other than that, looks good.

EDIT: Ah, after reading the responses, I see Acadian got me on desolate. I didn't spot man's though. Huh.
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Terry
 
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Post » Sat May 28, 2011 7:20 am

Sorry, didn't know I was being rude... :rolleyes: I said it was good, even great for his first time here...
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Alba Casas
 
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