I can't seem to get into some of the other rooms the counts/countesses are in. I've been to Skingrad and Anvil twice already with no luck. How do I get to the person I need to talk to about the Aid for Bruma?

What happens if I ignore this quest? I know it's optional.

Have you been there during business hours? You won't find anyone at night.
The other question is spoilerific, but basically, you would have less... allies for bruma.

Try visiting the Counts/countesses between roughly 9am and 5pm - they hold court in the Throne Room of their respective castles between those times. Their quarters are locked, so you won't be able to get in there. In the case of Count Skingrad, speak with his steward in they entrance hall of Castle Skingrad. He's an ... Unusual man.

As for your second question: