The `Angel RPG' has been closed but Angel still has things she need to say. The initial text here is the last few posts from the RPG with a few embellishments. I have not included any text from others who were involved in that thread. Also here is an initial follow-on which hints at her further adventures. I hope that you will find, over time, that Angel is; chary, impish, philosophical, skilled, naive, holy, wise, foolish, and an all-around unique being.

Story begins here;

Alone at last Angel knew that she would have the next few hours free from interruption for what must be done. She began the chant that would send her into deepest meditation. Slowly darkness fell over her vision and she became deaf and blind with only the single thought now repeating; "I must stop the beating of my heart."

"I am close now." she thought but even as that passed through her mind there was a disturbance. A shimmering light had formed as though she was seeing a distant candle flame. As she watched, the light grew and became a fire until she could make out a form within the blaze. It was her sister. "SARRAH."

When Sarrah spoke, it was as though cymbals were clashing to form words; "Angel. You are the last of our line. Before you chose to end your life you must see all of the truth."

With that, Angel found herself in a burning world. The sky was red and a lake nearby seemed to be on fire. Sarrah raised an arm to point at the burning lake. "My body lies there for all eternity. This is a plane of Oblivion. It was not meant that men should ever see this place but a great sin has fallen on the people. The door between the dwellings of the Daedra and the dwellings of men has opened. You and your companions must close these doors. If you do not, then all mankind is forfeit."

The scene faded until there was only darkness. Angel felt her heart beating and knew that by an act of will she could now stop it forever.

Chapter 2

"Wake up.... Wake up.... Wake up.... " "Go away!". Angel recognized the voice and knew that it was someone friendly but right now it was annoying.

"Wake up.... Wake up.... Wake up...." "I paid for this room for the whole night so please go away."

"Wake up.... Wake up.... Wake up...." Slowly Angel began to recognize that she was indeed still asleep and her actions were only taking place within her mind. Like a physical weight, her unconscious state seemed to press down on her; holding her below the level of the real world. "Hello?" she thought.

"Wake up.... Wake up.... Wake up...." The voice was starting to cause her physical pain. With each repetition, her throat hurt. The first hint of anger formed in her mind, and she began to struggle to find her body. Like stepping through a doorway, she passed into the realm of consciousness. The voice was her own.

"How much time has gone by?" she wondered.

The secret to the Heart Ritual was the chant. Starting as sounds made in a certain rhythm, the rhythm then slowly altered, it would end in the `Wake up' command. Angel had hoped the ritual would let her communicate with her parents. Thinking of them now brought on an ache more profound than she had ever known before. For the last year, her grief had been suppressed by her mage training and upbringing but in that time, with no companionship, much of those imposed restrictions had lost all meaning. She no longer cared what others thought.

Passing through Her sister's ruined manor, Angel was not surprised to see that it was now abandoned. "How much time has gone by?" she once again wondered.

Outside she discovered it was now morning although she had no idea what day. She let the cool air and warm sun play tug-of-war on her face as she considered the new circumstance. Her erstwhile defenders had all apparently abandoned her. "So much for noble causes and honor" she thought. More than anything else right now she wanted to go riding; to forsake all care in the headlong plunge down an inviting road; to become one with the power that a magnificent beast so willingly gave to it's owner.

For a year, Angel had been on her own. In that time, she had learned that no one was going to take care of her. If she ate, it would be because she had acquired food and optionally, prepared it; to turn nourishment into a moments pleasure; to release old memories of banquets with the nobility in her parents Grand Mansion. All gone now.

The dwemer artifact she had sought here in the ruins of her sister's mansion was gone; plundered most likely by the inhabitants of a nearby village. These were the remnant of a cult which had brought them only sorrow.

Angel's life had been pressed onto the sharp edge. The world held the knife and beckoned her to follow her ancestors into the pit. "I suppose I'd better go to Hackdirt and try to find out what happened here" she thought.

Angel could have found Hackdirt with her eyes closed. All she had to do was follow the smell; a combination of charred wood and human waste. She was examining one of the trapdoors she and Sarrah had once discovered on a rare trip to the village when a voice spoke from behind her; "Get out of here" a man said without preamble. Angel turned to see a stocky villager glowering at her.

There would be no polite banter with this one Angel realized. Even though she had a knack for winning people over with the right combination of laughter, respect, and composure, she knew there was a darkness that hung over this village and it's inhabitants.

"And if I chose not to leave?" Angel asked. Without a word, the man slipped the club from his belt and advanced toward her.

Angel waited until he was almost in striking distance and then cast her `Dragon Skin' spell. If he struck her it would sting but not do any serious harm. Without hesitation he swung the club striking her shoulder and sending her staggering backward.

Recovering her footing Angel was preparing to cast a summon spell when she saw a group of villagers step from behind a charred wall; each one wielding a club. "Bye. Give my love to the kids." she said as she turned and raced eastward toward the edge of town and the road that lay beyond a stretch of forest.

For the third time, Angel had to stop and wait for the angry group to catch up. "Let's see," she thought, "the mine should be right over there." Sure enough, at that moment Angel caught sight of a shimmering object which separated into two golden glowing Will-O-Wisps.

Sensing rather than seeing Angel, the Will-O-Wisps momentarily disappeared to reappear beside her. She heard the gurgling sound of their magic attack and felt the surge of manna as her natural absorption consumed their fury and converted it to power. A power she now used to cast her `Ghostwalk' spell turning her invisible even as the growling clan of villagers arrived at the mine.

"Mindless animals" She thought. "They don't stop to think that their weapons are useless against the Wow." She watched the carnage to the fall of the last villager. Another moment, and her invisibility had faded.

Angel stopped to pluck the fully developed cap of a Summer Boleta mushroom. Behind her, her two companions swarmed and gurgled happily. "They're really just playful" she thought, "and who doesn't think they are beautiful?" She was headed back to Hackdirt at a leisurely pace, gathering seeds, leaves, caps, and enjoying what was left of the afternoon although clouds had moved in, the wind had risen and there was a threat of a storm to come. "Of all the things that magic can do," she spoke out loud to the nearest WIll-O-Wisp, "it still can't control the weather." Beginning to feel the effects of the combined `playfulness' Angel cast spells to heal any damage. The manna fully restored almost instantly.

Angel arrived back at the village as the sun was going down. Heading straight to the trapdoor, she entered and paused at the bottom of the short ladder waiting for her new entourage to follow.

It was clear that Angel would be on her own within the cavern. Twice she ascended the ladder; exiting the cavern to be greeted by a rush to her side and a happy gurgle from the Will-O-Wisps. Each time descending back into the gloom, she brought with her only the sound of her own footsteps.

Angel didn't like caves and this one was no exception. Normally, she would avoid such places and simply visit the commercial alchemists for the cairn mushrooms she loved. Now, since she was here anyway, she lit a torch and was immediately rewarded with the sight of several of the treasured plants. Like a time worn trail, her thoughts proceeded from food to the potions she could make with the `shroom's'.

At the end of the first tunnel Angel exited into a large chamber. There was a fire near the center and Angel could make out something gleaming on a table or alter near the fire. Her heart began to beat faster. "I think that's it." At the same time, Angel also caught glimpses of two people partially illuminated by the fire. She recognized them as two of the more `normal' villagers. Still shabby and doleful but they didn't seem the type given to violence.

Angel went directly to the alter glancing alternately at each of the two men in turn. As she drew close enough, recognition of the Golden Egg made her dizzy. In the last three days, her life had been threatened and twice there had been attempts to abduct her. "All for this" she thought as she lifted it from it's crude bed of straw.

Angel spun around; suddenly anxious that this moment of triumph could be destroyed because she had lost her focus on the situation. Neither man had moved. Cautiously, she retreated from the chamber. As she passed him, one of the men she recognized as having worked as a gardener at her sister's estate said; "They will be back. You must never come here again."

Angel paused at the trapdoor still a little dazed by the turn of events. This momentous event was not marked by some epic battle; no heroic speech or act; only the lifting up of an object and carrying it away.

Chapter 3

Exiting the cavern, Angel was startled by the gurgle of the Will-O-Wisps she had left guarding the trapdoor and now forgotten. "This won't do" she thought and cast her `Ghostwalk' spell of invisibility. "I'm sure the locals will enjoy their new pets." Turning North, Angel headed for Chorrol.

Cradling the Egg in her arms as one would carry a baby, Angel trotted through the forest. She could sustain this pace easily without tiring. The peace of the forest allowed her time to gather her thoughts and consider her first decision regarding her destination. She had intended to buy a horse in Chorrol and then proceed from there to the Imperial City and the Arcane University.

As she thought of the University, She remembered the `Key' (as the Arch Mage had called it). A beautifully filigreed stand which served as a base when fitted to its' place on the side of the Egg. According to the Arch Mage, the Egg had attuned itself to Angel after the death of Sarrah; Angels's older sister. With it she could cast Illusion spells and the effect would be amplified thousands of times. She could prevent a war simply by commanding the armies to go home. "Of course there is a catch to all this" she thought. "The Egg doesn't work without the `Key'"; which was in the possession of the University.

Legally, it was hers. Angels father had been wealthy and bought the Egg for his cherished collection of Dwemer artifacts. Possession had passed to Sarrah after the disappearance of their parents. Sarrah had, in turn, sent the base to the Arch Mage believing that the Egg had caused that disappearance.

"If I give it to the Guild, I will never see it again" Angel concluded. Her pace slowed to a walk and then stopped.

Chapter 4

"GET TODAY'S COPY OF THE BLACK HORSE COURIER. ANGEL DINSTEEL FOUND DEAD IN SISTER'S MANOR."

Elgin read more as an exercise than out of interest. Reading was one of the few skills he was really good at and he didn't want to lose it. Still, he felt a certain sympathy and feeling of loss as he read. Imperials didn't breed the way some races did. For that reason, they were instinctively more protective of the children they had. Relaxing at a table in the Merchants Inn he read.

"Discovered in the ruins of her late sister's estate, the child Mage, famous locally as the `Hero of Kvatch' had apparently committed a form of ritual suicide. It was known that she had recently been grieving over the loss of a horse."

"A bodyguard, the last person to see her alive, said there had been recent death threats but was unable to provide any further information about the source of the threats."

"In a bizarre twist, the body was left alone after summoning the Imperial Guard to investigate and has now gone missing. A search of the area disclosed the site of a mass killing of Hackdirt villagers. The village is the nearest landmark to the death scene."

"Based on the signs of injury, the villager's deaths have been ascribed to an attack by Will-O-Wisps. The council has called for a committee to investigate the on-going danger of these little known crea......"

Elgin glanced up at the face of the Khajiit and then down to the folded and sealed paper being proffered to him. "For me?" he asked. At the silent nod, Elgin took the note and waited for the Khajiit to leave. Glancing around without making it obvious, he looked for signs that there was anyone showing curiosity about the message.

"Dear Sleazy," he read. So; the letter was from Falanu Hlaalu. "If you are not too busy with your usual job of cutting purses and stealing from babies, I might just have a little work for you."

Friends Forever;
Falanu

Elgin's back jerked straight in shock at the last line. `Friends Forever' was their long standing code for an emergency. His other business could wait.

Later that same day, Elgin entered the Skingrad shop. "Hey, Coldcuts", Elgin greeted Falanu.

"Hey Sleazy", Falanu managed before being lifted from the floor and squealing as her breath was squeezed out.

Lowering her to the floor, Elgin said "What say; you and me blow off this little job of yours and run up an impossible bill at the Tiber Septim?"

The look Falanu gave him said it all. She was tempted. Almost immediately, her expression changed and she said, "Wait here just a moment". Falanu locked the front door before proceeding to the shop's cellar door. She opened it and made a gesture. A Breton child appeared at the doorway and stepped into the shop. "Elgin," Falanu said, "I'd like you to meet Angel".

The name gave Elgin a strange feeling of deja vu but he waited knowing that all would be revealed soon enough. He and Falanu kept no secrets from one another.

Angel stepped forward and held out her hand. "My but your shield arm looks very strong." she intoned a traditional greeting

Without thinking, Elgin knelt and looked into the soft eyes. Then she was in his arms; her own soft arms around his bristled neck and the dampness of tears on his shoulder.

Eventually Falanu broke the stillness "This child has been through more than her share of trouble lately." She said. "She needs a protector and I recommended you."

Sitting on the counter so she was eye to eye with them, Angel told Falanu and Elgin of the threat she had been under and about Hackdirt.

"Where is this artifact now?"Elgin asked.

Without hesitation Falanu answered, "It's here in the shop."

Turning back to Angel, Elgin said "You are braver than most men I have met. If my service meets with your approval, then I am yours to command."

Angel sat with her head tilted back, her wet hair hanging into the bowl behind; Falanu working vigorously to massage the poison all the way down to the roots. "Sorry about the discomfort," Falanu said "but you must not get any of this in your mouth. Don't lick your lips and don't try to talk. After we're done we must thoroughly wash your face to remove any traces before you can talk or eat.

You do realize; you are no longer a Mage's guild Conjurer? Elgin has gone to take possession of your two manors. Don't worry, in his own way, he is one of the most honest men I know. When this is over I'm sure he will return the titles to you.

It's strange how we became friends. My husband and I had an Alchemy shop outside of the Imperial City along the Red Ring Road. There was a fire. My husband didn't make it out of the shop. Elgin tracked down the thief who had set the fire. He saw to it she would never set another one. I had no money and Elgin helped me set up this shop. I didn't learn about him being in the Thieves Guild until much later. Since then, we have done a little business from time to time."

"OK." Falanu said at last; toweling the last of a series of rinses from Angels hair, "Now wash your face carefully three times."

The transformation was stunning. Angels straight brown hair was now a golden cloud of curls surrounding her face like an aura. "By the Nine!" Falanu exclaimed, "You truly do look like an Angel"

On his return to the shop, Elgin dropped the packages he was carrying as he was greeted by hugs. Retrieving his burdens he held out one of them to Angel. "Try these on." he said. Inside Angel found a set of carved wooden clogs. The soles were four inches high.

"How did you get them so light" she asked.

"They're hollow." he said in an oddly `knowing' voice. Having learned of his background, Angel understood immediately. These had probably served a smuggler.

Elgin continued, "They're too awkward to run or sneak in and they take getting used to but in town, they will help to conceal your identity. You do know how to sneak right?"

Angel's blank look was his answer.

"You'd better get started on the lessons right away. I'll take these dresses and make the alterations." Falanu said gathering up the remaining packages.

Hand in hand with Elgin, Angel stood in front of the entrance to the Arcane University tower. Elgin must have looked a little strange with his arm extended to the side apparently holding on to nothing.

This was to be a first test of the University's security gates. More than once Angel had entered the grounds still fully cloaked so she knew that the gates did not depend on visual recognition. Stepping to the left-hand gate she tried to open it without success."So;" she thought,"I am truly forsaken by the guild. So be it." The feeling of separation was not as bad as she had expected. If the friends she had made in the guild were to prove later on to have forsaken her as well, then they were not her friends after all. Angel still hoped there would come a time when she would be reinstated but for now, she was dead.

Elgin bent over and whispered to the air for a moment then entered the main entrance to the University Tower's reception area. He soon exited and walked away still suffering from some malady in his arm. The guard shook his head at the odd behavior and went back to his thoughts of the gambling debts that were becoming unpayable; dwelling on the fear of becoming a hunted man.

Over a huge boar roast in the Tiber Septim Inn, Falanu, Elgin and Angel conspired to break into the Arcane University. "Angel," Falanu said, "don't talk with your mouth full."

Angel was blissfully extolling the wonders of freshly baked bread. In her year of isolated living, her once courtly manner had fallen away and she was caught up suddenly by the realization. "I was on my way to becoming feral," she thought in horror. Falanu reached across the table and stroked her cheek in reassurance.

"It would take me a year to clear my reputation."Elgin said. "What we need is a thief already inside the Mage's guild." When no response came from the two ladies he continued; "Ok," he said, "I'll start some inquiries and see what I can find out."

Chapter 5

Swims-On-Land was practicing his favorite pastime; pickpocketing. It was a natural outgrowth of being the smallest of his nest mates. From the day of his hatching, he had had to remain invisible to survive. When his parents finally separated, all the hatchlings had scattered into the primordial soup of the swamp. He was the only one still alive.

He was almost even with his prey when he heard a voice behind him. "You look like a man with a load in his pants and arthritis in his hands."

Straightening, Swims-On-Land turn to face the speaker. "For your information, I am not a man; I am an Argonian and you look like a sympathetic loser that will give away his gold for a nights comfort." His face breaking into a toothy grin, Swims' reached out to embrace his old friend.

NOTE; I have been offered the use of one of the characters from the RPG. Thanks Squidmasher.


Bellerius' could separate himself from pain. He watched the Grand Inquisitor's whip admiring the intricate weaving of leather near the handle as the tip floated downward across his exposed chest. Another beautifully glowing trace formed on the object representing his senses. "I will be made whole again in paradise." he thought as he slipped into unconsciousness.

"So, you are still alive." The monk said, seeing Bellerius' eyes open. "You know; you were very lucky you were telling the truth. That's the only thing that saved you."

"Fat slug. You are unworthy to call yourself a monk." Bellerius thought. Aloud, he answered, "It was right of the Grand Inquisitor to require proof that the Evil One was truly dead." His mind drifted back over the events of three days ago.

He had managed to join the odd assortment of people she had drawn to her through the dark forces within her. As he prayed for some sign that the time was right for him kill the fowl child, he had heard an anguished cry from the room where she was resting. Entering, He found her sitting in the position of meditation; the bodyguard kneeling in front of her as though praying at a shrine. It was a moment before the convulsions of the bodyguards shoulders were revealed as sobbing. Searching for a pulse, Bellerius knew from the touch of cold skin that she was dead.

One by one, her entourage had returned and been given the news. Each had his own reasons for not being publicly associated with the child's death and had quietly slipped away. Bellerius had returned to the monastery to submit to the `proving'. Now however, something nagged at the back of his mind. He had heard a sound escape from her throat and assumed it was air trapped in her lungs and finally released like a bubble floating to the top. He had of course carefully examined her again and convinced himself she was dead. Still the though would not go away. Picturing the scene again in his mind he realized what it was; she had been performing the Heart Ritual.

Somehow the shock of realization had given him the strength to sit upright. A bleak feeling of failure passed through him as the words of the pvssyring monk penetrated; "According to the Courier, her body disappeared before they could bury her."

Bellerius waited for the cloak of night before slipping out of the monastery. He would track her down and kill her without hesitation; without regard for himself; without failing again.

Nillocjames has generously contributed his excellent RP character Rene Belland to this fan fiction. I hope I can do the character justice.

Nillocjames, if you have restrictions on how to play this character please PM me. The use of Bellerius came with the restriction that I should not turn him into a companion (as if I would do that to such a perfectly twisted mind.)

Also I would like to point out how discouraging it is when there is no feedback from readers about whether or not they are enjoying the story and if not; how can I make it better or what am I doing wrong?

The story continues;

Falanu found herself listening to the sound of Elgin's voice and only partially listening to what he was saying. "He is a handsome man in a rugged sort of way but it's really his voice that gets to me." She thought. The feeling of guilt that followed that thought was clearly less than she had felt in the past. The pain of loss from her husband's death was beginning to ease.

"Rumor is that the new Count Skingrad had closed the Mage's guild and ejected the mages from the city." Elgin said. "The guild has increased security in all the remaining cities and the Arcane University is more like a fortress. It's going to take Swims' some time to earn access. He has to get recommendations from all the guild heads; even the one from Skingrad."

"was anyone hurt in Skingrad?" Angel asked.

"No, not as far as I know. I know your guild membership meant a lot to you. I'll try and find out what I can." Elgin answered.

"I know Belland." Angel said. Another moment and she realized that neither of her listeners knew who she meant. "The new Count Skingrad. He was one of the people protecting me before I died." she said with a smirk at the end.

Falanu and Elgin exchanged looks before Falanu said "Angel you still continue to surprise me. What do you know about him?"

After gathering her thoughts Angel began "He's a leader in the Necromancers. The night we met, he saved my life from the first assassination attempt. He's also a fugitive wanted by the Legion although ... maybe being Count Skingrad, he is above such things now I don't know."

"Wait." Elgin said; a look of recognition starting to form in his face. "Rene Belland?" he asked.

"I don't know." Angel answered. "I only knew him as Belland."

"It is!" Elgin said with conviction. "The man is nefarious. If he's the new Count, the people of Skingrad are in serious trouble."

It was Angels turn to exchange glances with Falanu.

"You said yourself no one was hurt and he has protected me more than once." Angel said almost defensively.

"Yah and I know why." Elgin answered.

Chapter 6

Belland; Count Skingrad took only a moment to verify his recognition of the feverish and imaciated prisoner. "Bellerius isn't it" he asked. When no response was forthcoming he continued. "You don't need to answer. You can simply remain here until you die." He was almost through the doorway when he heard a confirming "Yes."

"Why were you skulking around outside `All Things Alchemical' Belland asked turning back into the cell. "It was me that recognized you, by the way."

"I've been injured. I needed medication." Bellerius answered; the lie coming as naturally as breathing. The dried blood stains on his robe confirmed his claim.

"Consider your next answer carefully" Belland said, It will determine whether you are freed or left to rot here. Were you acting as an assassin when you joined our little group? And I want the truth."

After a long moments pause, Bellerius answered; "Yes."

Belland turned to a guard, "Have him moved to private quarters and see to it his injuries are tended." Without another word to Bellerius he swept out of the cell his footsteps fading down the hallway.

Belleruis' eyes closed. "Akatosh; you have heard my cry in this hour of despair. You have delivered me from death. I shall not fail you."

Alright, here's a little feedback for ya.

I'm going to be honest: my initial worry going into this was that I wouldn't have the necessary background for it, what with not having participated in the RP. However, you handled that fairly well; most of the background is either self-explanatory or to-be-elaborated-on later.

You also have a strong sense of dialogue, making good use of conversation to move the story forward and flesh out the characters at the same time. I'm also rather impressed with the sheer amount you've managed to generate in a short time. You've definitely got the passion; I hope you keep it, feedback or no. It's always easy to tell when a writer loves his story, and you obviously love yours.

Your mechanics are sound, with a couple blips of the type that most people make. I was, however, thrown off by your spelling of "Falanu Hlaalu"... if you're unsure how to spell a well-known NPC's name (or even if you ARE sure), it's probably a good idea to double-check it in the UESPwiki.

My Lore Alarm went off a couple times. Granted, I'm a lore geek, and I'm thus very picky about such things, but I just feel the need to point this out: Cyrodiil does not have any of the modern religions. I caught Falanu saying "for heaven's sake" at one point, although it's just a turn of phrase, so not a big deal. More important, however, are your angelic references. I could be wrong, but I don't think anything in Elder Scrolls Lore resembles angels: the closest I can think of off the top of my head are Winged Twilights, and those are more like harpies than angels. Again, I am picky that way; you're welcome to continue the story with the lore you've added on your own.

This fanfiction takes after your main game character. I've seen you talk about her, post pictures of her, and generally display the affection for her that I have for my own. She is the backbone of this story, and thus I think she needs a little discussion.

First off, she needs more physical description. A LOT more. Namely, you NEED to mention her exceptional age earlier than the fourth post. Again, I'd seen pictures of her, and was familiar with her general premise beforehand, so I wasn't thrown off by it... but anyone not familiar with her would have assumed that she was an advlt right up until the Black Horse Courier bit. The other characters (Elgin in particular) could use descriptions as well (races, general looks, occupations etc), but that is the most obvious part.

Also... and I kinda hate to say this... but Angel has always struck me as rather Uber. A child, who everybody loves, matured beyond her years, having already become a master Illusionist and the Hero of Kvatch? Yeah, that's a little much to jump into off the bat. It's no doubt great fun for gaming purposes, but you have to be careful about that when switching game characters to RP or fanfiction characters. Readers aren't as attached to them as you are. Readers are more likely to be turned off by an unaccountably powerful character.

However, there is a way to handle this: show the readers how they got to this point--in this case, through flashbacks, or descriptions of past events, or something. If you show the readers the struggle that the character had to undergo to become Uber, the Uberness switches to Awesomeness, because the character began with that essential humanity that we can all relate to. Understanding the journey is one of the most important distinctions between Uber and not.

I'd also like to add that I'm wondering why she is so very important. All the other characters' lives seem to revolve around her, and I'm beginning to wonder why that is. More explanation there might be called for; otherwise, it's just another way that she's Uber.

Again, I have no intention of bashing your character or your story; you already obviously love them both to bits. You're definitely a good writer; all this it just content stuff that needs to be (and can be) elaborated on or tweaked just a tiny bit. The general content is good (although I admit it's not usually my story style of choice, but that's a personal taste thing), so I definitely say keep on writing, and have fun.

And remember to pimp it out.

agreed, however I would like to add the fact she is a prodigy to the uber section. No amount of natural talent can account for decades of experience. I can understand people who pick up on things and have natural talent but when it seems they have years of experiance even when they dont have that much experiance it becomes uber like Sparrow said

And the temptation to make a sarcastic remark about your last line is over whelming.

Tee hee. To be honest, I almost made a crack about it myself.

Then you understand the will power it took to didn't

To the op:
Take Sparrow's advice and keep writing ir is the only way ro learn.

Wow! You nailed everything I knew about and then some. Well done.

I have been looking for opportunities to show the same kind of vulnerabilities she exhibited during the RP but they just haven't surfaced yet. Other than casting an invisibility spell though, she really hasn't done much.

I knew about the Falanu misspellings and left it in hoping someone would call me on it. It's sad when negative criticism is better than the chirping of crickets. But, you have come to my rescue; thanks :hugs:
I knew about the heaven's sake expression and the lack of real Angels. For those I claim creative license :hehe: I admit, more than once I considered removing the `heaven's sake'.

I was totally Oblivious to how shortchanged my character descriptions were.

It took even more willpower to write that last line but it was part of the original Bellerius character and it won't be the last time. Sorry. Just hold your nose and skim over that part. I will try to keep them brief and pointless. Over time they will (hopefully) reveal his mental instability; Outwardly calm: inwardly [censored].

Now I need to re-read your post about ten times and pick up all the additional stuff my tiny brain sort of saw but didn't absorb.

Once again, thanks.

Stuck in the Tiber Septim Inn for several days, Angel was becoming restless. She was accustomed to roaming the fields to gather ingredients for her exotic potions. Falanu had left to visit the alchemy shops hoping to give her something to fill the time with. Angel's thoughts drifted back to the idyllic days before her parents had disappeared.

Sarrah would take the Golden Egg into the forest and cast her `Calm' spell on the first creature she found. Then they would head for Sluffy's cave. The Egg would amplify the power of Sarrah's spell until all of the creatures in the area were tamed. The effect could last more than a week. Angel and Sarrah would take turns riding the back of the ancient brown bear they called Sluffy arriving home after sundown. In the family's private chambers, their mother would make a show of complaining about the bear smell and their dirty dresses while they chased each other, bare beamed, around the room and their father pretended to nap in his chair; unable to hide the look of pride on his face.

Now the Golden Egg belonged to Angel and according to the Arch Mage she alone had the power to use it. In fact the mysterious disappearance of her parents had pointed to the Egg as the cause. The artifact attuned itself to an individual. Anyone else trying to use it came to grief. With it, she could command armies. The only thing left to make it work was to recover the `Key' from the University.

Angel glanced at Elgin and wondered what it would have been like if he had been her father. He had an Imperial's classic features cut by an athletic leanness. With his face turned she could see there was a determination in the dark brown eyes below black eyebrows and medium length black hair. It was a look he normally hid behind a rogue's grin.

"Falanu said you helped her start a new business after she lost her shop." Angel prompted, hoping to hear more about the incident which Falanu had only mentioned in a few brief sentences.

Elgin's only response was a grunt and a nod of agreement as he looked out the window at the street below.

"You like her don't you?"

That got his attention and he thought for a moment. When he spoke, the soft base rumble of his voice once again gave her a strange feeling of intimacy with the speaker; "She makes a mighty fine potion." he said with a grin. He could see that was not going to end the conversation. "Falanu and I are the best of friends. We both know how to keep a secret and that's as much as I'm going to say."

In her mind Angel saw the wall going up again. That strange separation the grownups maintained that kept them from connecting with each other; that kept them from being a family; that always, in the end, left her alone to fend for herself.

It was Elgin who finally broke the silence; "How long does it take to buy a few mushroom caps?" he muttered to himself. Glancing at Angel, he saw the alarmed look his question evoked and his own sense of alarm began to clamor for attention.

for some reason I dont like it when people name their spells directly



I think it would sound better as


or

Angel seemed to will herself calm. "Falanu knows how to take care of herself. The market district here is small enough that we would know if there was a disturbance."

It was getting difficult for Elgin to understand this child he had committed himself to protect. In some ways, she seemed so ordinary and yet again, and again, she had surprised him with knowledge or skills beyond her years. "Let me ask you a question." Elgin said. "Those enchanted cloths you carry; is that chameleon?"

"Yes. I made them at the University. I wanted to travel in some wilderness areas without having to kill the creatures I found there."

"How old are you?" Elgin asked the question that was really on his mind.

"Twelve."

"And you were a Conjurer in the Mages guild?" He already knew the answer but he was hoping now that she would elaborate on that bare fact.

Angel understood. "I was apprenticed to Master Pheng Yun when I was five. My parents were rich and I was considered gifted. The first thing he taught me was how to learn. He could make me sleep, only; I was awake at the same time. He would take me into parts of my mind and show how they were blocked, then leave me there to open the blocks." Angel laughed, remembering; "It was almost always a turn of phrase. `I can't remember' was the worst one. You should never say that by the way. The more you say it, the truer it becomes. He also taught me meditation. He was a brilliant mystic."

"Are you saying that you have a perfect memory?" Elgin had heard of such things but had never encountered anyone like that.

"No," Angel responded, "There are still pain blocks that I am unable to open. Master Pheng said they can effect new knowledge as well as old. He also said not to worry; they would open by themselves in time."

"Well training is fine but I find there is no substitue for experience" Elgin answered in a voice that sounded defensive.

She thought for a moment. "I think you can have a years worth of experience or a months worth of experience twelve times over. It just depends on how important it is to remember and how complicated it is. Also, without training, experience can reinforce those mind blocks and make them harder to deal with; they can end up controlling your life."

Elgin turned back to the window to end the conversation and try to deal with feelings which had pushed into his awareness. He was annoyed by her obviously naive perceptions. Still, he couldn't deny her accomplishments. The two conflicted in a way that threatened to make him doubt himself for the first time. Even as he explored his feelings he realized that they didn't change the affection he was developing for her. "Strange" he thought, "to be annoyed with someone and like them at the same time." It had never happened to him before. He fought against it now, thinking it could lead to whole new ways of seeing his life.

Elgin leaned over the counter of the `Main Ingredient' alchemy shop in order to speak as quietly as possible. "I'm looking for a friend" he said. "Falanu Hlaalu."

"Ah yes, I know her." Ogier Georick answered. "She has a shop in Skingrad. Always calls her friends by a nickname. Mine is Tumbleturd."

"Mine is Sleazy." Elgin answered.


Ogier reached below the counter and brought up a note folded in half. "You might enjoy this potion recipe." He said, handing the note to Elgin.

"Thanks." Elgin said. As he studied the rambling list of ingredients and instructions, two men entered the shop. Elgin noticed immediately there was something wrong. Both men had stopped just inside the door and were now effectively blocking the exit. "Mages guild" he thought, recognizing the `Robe of the Apprentice'.

"Come with us." One of the mages seemed to be speaking to an empty spot beside Elgin.

"And if I chose not to?" a child's voice sounded from the same spot.

The second mage answered, "I was hoping you'd say that you snotty little know-it-all."

Elgin caught the full force of the paralysis spell as he dove in front of Angel. Even as he dropped he was surprised at the weakness of the spell. He wasn't even blinded. "This won't last long," he thought "and when I get up...". A greenish glow formed above him and then rushed into view as it crossed the shop and burst against one of the mages. They both went down. There followed a rapid succession of spells aimed at the two prostrate figures ending with another paralysis spell. By this time Elgin was able to get to his feet. He saw Angel was now visible and wearing her Mages guild robe. The sight almost took his breath away. Her face held a serenity he had never seen before. She wore a soft smile that was at once both holy and sensual.

Elgin could not bring himself to take her hand and so he gestured awkwardly for her to follow and then started for the door; Angel trailing peacefully behind him.

Looking both ways along the street for signs that guards were alerted, Elgin saw only the normal bustle of people going about their business. "Are they dead?" He asked.

"No. They are very paralyzed. I reinforced the spell so we have time to get away. Where are we going ?" The flat tone of Angels voice added to the mystical effect she was having; again both holy and sensual at the same time; her words formed in a perfection of sounds that made each syllable a carefully constructed work of art.

"I know where Falanu is." Elgin answered.

"From now on you are working for me. Do I make myself perfectly clear?"

Bellerius bowed and nodded in agreement. There was no deciet he would not willingly render to achieve his goal; the destruction of evil.

"Very well then." Count Skingrad continued, "Your first task is a minor elimination. A nasty little Bosmer named Glarthir. My guards know nothing of this and if you are detected, they will treat you as a murderer. Report back to me when you have completed your task but there is a time limit. You have three days to take care of this. After that I will give the word and you will be killed on sight. Dismissed."

Bellerius had been restored to health by the castle healer in a matter of hours. That same night he had joined several merchants at a banquet. All were invited guests of the new Count Skingrad.

The Count was methodically working his way through Skingrad's prominent citizens, reassuring them after the eviction of the Mage's Guild from the city and the appropriation of the homes of a few ne'er-do-well citizens. "They will do much better in the Inns where they can be looked after properly and their expenses will of course be provided for by the City." He explained. "And your taxes will be increased to pay for it." He thought.

His own contingent of Necromancers had invaded the city and the castle grounds. He had placed severe restrictions on their activities; forbidding any practices which would cause the unwholesome smell of death within city limits. Even as he solidified his hold on Skingrad, Belland; Count Skingrad was beginning to turn his eyes toward Anvil.

Outside the castle walls, Bellerius considered his next move. He still needed to pick up a trail if he was to located the Evil One. His only known connection with her was the local alchemy shop and Falanu Hlaalu. The shop had developed a reputation for the exotic potions sold there. The source of those potions was known to be the Evil One. "PSST." he heard a noise and turned around to see a wild eyed Bosmer approaching.

It was dark by the time Elgin and Angel arrived at the ruins located on the Red Ring Road. It was all that was left of the original alchemy shop of Falanu Hlaalu. All that remained now were a few partial walls, and some charred timbers. They stepped inside and stood quietly. After a moment, Falanu emerged from the shadows. By way of greeting, her first words were "I've seen it."

It took a moment for Elgin to adjust to the odd greeting. "I'm glad to see you too." He said with a grin.

"No, I've seen the thing Angel needs to make her Dwemer thing work." Falanu said. "I was taken by two Mage guild students to see the Arch Mage." He knows Angel is alive. He also knows she has the artifact. They've been looking for it and someone in Hackdirt told them everything. The thing.. uh... the Key, is in the Arch Mage's chamber in the University Tower. I was afraid of leading them back to you so I left messages at the alchemy shops and came here."

"It looks like the Mage's guild might have turned hostile." Elgin said. "A couple of University apprentice's tried to take Angel by force today." Elgin looked thoughtful. "We can't just stay here. The only city without a Mage's guild is Skingrad and their new Count has a reputation as a mass murderer."

"There is one other place where there is no Mages guild." Angel said. "Kvatch." The trance like state Elgin had seen earlier had worn off and once again she looked like a child in a frumpy robe one size too large.

"That would not work well for me." Elgin answered. "I need the beggars eyes and ears to stay in touch with Swims'."

"We could try my place in Skingrad." Falana suggested. "Angel can use her Chameleon cloaking to get in and hide out in my house." Seeing the troubled look on Angel's face she said, "What is it child?"

It's you." Angel answered. "I know you are brave but if the Mages Guild already knows about me, it's only a matter of time before Belland knows too. They all seem to know that you are somehow connected with me." After a long silence, Angel continued. "I have always considered Benirus Manor in Anvil as my home. I trust Carahil and in fact I sort of adopted the Anvil mages as my family. They have been very kind to me, letting me hang out in the hall and even play little pranks. I will never forget the night we gathered in the dining room and had a group hug." Angel did not mention the tears of happiness she had shed in that moment.

Elgin answered almost immediately, "Anvil sounds about as good as anywhere."

"Anvil it is then." Falanu said. "I would like to slip into Skingrad on the way and find out what the situation is with my shop."

Taking the fastest route, the trio arrived in Skingrad at midmorning. Angel was already cloaked. She had given Falanu a ring which could detect her presence even with the cloaking. "Ok she said, "I'll be at the turn in the road where it turns south toward Anvil." and set out to wander the fields near the main gate to the city.

It did not pass unnoticed when Falanu took Elgin's hand as they headed toward her shop. Once again he had a feeling that his whole outlook on life was beginning to change.

Falanu found the door still locked and the contents of the shop untouched. Almost immediately, a gaunt figure in a black robe entered. The stranger's robe was pushed back slightly exposing a mace.

Elgin didn't like the look of the man and stepped forward so that he was between the man and Falanu. "The shop's closed. We're on vacation."

"Ah, sorry." the stranger answered. "When will you be back?"

"Check back in a couple of weeks." Falanu said.

The stranger paused for a moment as though unsure of what to do next, then turned and left the shop.

"Woa!" Falanu exclaimed, "What a creepy man." Falanu talked as she moved around the shop gathering ingredients she knew Angel needed. "Did you notice that man coming out of the Mage's Guild?" at Elgin's nod she continued. "He's a Necromancer so it must be true what they are saying that the Mages were evicted. I guess the Necromancers have moved into the Guild hall. How disgusting."

Back on the road again, Falanu soon spotted Angel as she rushed out of one field and across the road to another. Falanu called to her and was rewarded by the sight of the little purple ghost of Angel's cloaked form come trotting up. It wasn't until then that she noticed the scowl on Elgin's face. Following his gaze she saw a black robed figure in the distance.

I've enjoyed it so far. I was a bit confused about her age and such until BSparrow cleared it up. I never read the original RP but the fanfic is well written in my oppinion.

Thanks. This is my first writing of any kind and obviously I have made mistakes along the way. I would need to re-write the beginning to correct that first one so I have tried to live with it. Actually, I have read a few Sci-Fi novels where my assumptions about the main character proved wrong well past the beginning of the story.

I'm trying to do this is small installments like an ongoing newspaper comic strip so that each installment is fairly short and packed with adventure or plot twists. I'd like it to be quick and easy to read and hint at even more to come.

Back to the story;

Bellerius searched his inventory aware even as he did that he had nothing that could end this nightmare. They were standing in the road and looking down at some spot he could feel but could not see. "An archer could have taken a shot just on speculation." he thought. He felt as though his insides were falling out and worms were crawling through his head. "Akotash forgive me." Seeing them face toward him he turned aside into the Gratefull Pass Stables.

Belland : Count Skingrad, perused the motly assortment of followers that had formed at his command. "There is a blight upon the land." He said. "It has a name. It's name is Anvil. You must summon your powers and march against this enemy of the people." Carefully coached by a subordinate, Belland made an arm gesture indicating the direction of Anvil. He stood motionless until the last of the rabble had exited the castle's reception area. "Scum." He thought. "At least it will give me some idea of what I'm up against."

Bellerius stepped back onto the road. He went directly to the place he had last seen them. Walking at a brisk pace he soon confirmed the small tracks were headed toward Anvil."At least any creatures or bandits will have to deal with them first. Perhaps I will come across her bloodied corpse." He thought with an instant boost in moral. The arrow that pierced his arm came as a total surprise.

Casting a healing spell, Bellerius dodged instinctively to the side of the road even as he scanned the area ahead for the source of the attack. Hearing a shouted insult he found the archer just coming out onto the road from the opposite side. Bellerius ducked behind a boulder. After summoning a Scamp, he waited for an audible sign that the archer had become engaged with the creature, then ran parallel to the road while remaining concealed by a row of boulders.

Bellerius heard the death shriek of the Scamp but by this time, it had done it's work; distracting the archer so that he was now behind the bandit. Casting a chameleon spell he crouched into a low profile intended to conceal his presence. Stepping slowly and methodically, He approached the bandit. The mace rose as he raised his arm for maximum extension, and then descended in a crashing blow against the skull of the archer. "Perhaps" Bellerius thought. "If I could get close enough, a poisoned arrow would find it's mark despite my lack of skill with a bow.."

Angel accepted the ingredients Falanu held out to her; Cairn mushrooms, a Daedra heart, and flax seeds. The walk that started under pleasant skys had slowly deteriorated into a weather front complete with lightening and occasional downpours. Angel's chameleon hood afforded some relief from each new deluge. Nevertheless, her spirits were high and she would run ahead to strip seeds from a newly spied flax plant. With each new creature she encountered, Angel would cast a calming spell and then cast spells to amplify her magical effects ending with a calming spell that would last for several minutes; pleased with herself as Elgin and Falanu passed by in a happy cloud of conversation.

"Remember that Skooma dealer;" Falanu chuckled. "the one who ended up paying for our trip to Leyawyn?"

Elgin turned to walk backward so he could look at Falanu. "Billy's Butt!" He said and the two erupted in screams of laughter that left them staggering more than walking.

Bellerius was more cautious now as he followed the small set of prints scattered back and forth along the road. He had always had a sense of oneness with the shadows and he passed the remaining creatures and bandits with ease; avoiding the need to risk injury. "How deceiving she is" He thought, observing the chaotic tracks. "So playful. No one would suspect her of seeking to rule the World."

From a rise in the road, Angel spotted the city of Anvil below. Even in the present downpour, the city had a cozy inviting look that made her yearn to see Carahil, Felen Relas, and the other Mages at the guild hall. "I'm going ahead." She shouted to Elgin and Falanu. Without waiting for a response, she broke into a trot and started down the hill.

As she approached the Anvil gate she saw two figures in Mage's robes standing near the main entrance. Recognizing one of them she approach to speaking distance and stopped. 'Melchior isn't it?" She asked.

"Angel, I didn't recognize you for a moment. What happened to your hair?"

"I'm hiding." she said impishly.

"In that case you might want to consider wearing a different robe." He said with a grin.

Angel passed through the gate promising to return later after paying her respects to Carahil, heading straight for the Mage's guild hall. Stepping into the foyer Angel watched Carahil perform her little deception. Carahil often leaned against the wall as she napped in the quiet of the Hall. Something about the Mer allowed them to stand comfortably for hours, even locking their knees in a way that allowed them to sleep standing up as long as they were propped against something like a wall or counter. Two strides of her long legs brought Carahil to her post behind the reception desk; a book simultaneously appearing as she acted as though she had been reading for hours. Glancing up, her expression rapidly cycled through a series of emotions, settling on a concerned look.

"Angel?"

For an answer, Angel ran around the counter and wrapped her arms around Carahils long legs.

"We have to talk." Carahil said taking Angel's hand and leading her to the dining area where they had shared many still-sleepy breakfasts together over small talk and sweetrolls.

"The Arch mage has issued a private message to the head of each guild hall that you have something that belongs to the University. A Dwemer artifact."

As Carahil's words slowly penetrated her disbelief, Angel felt a new heartbreak piling onto the ones she already bore. "It's a lie." she said in a faint voice. "It was my father's, then my sister's, and now it's mine. It's the Arch Mage that is holding what belongs to me."

Carahil remained silent; encouraging Angel to tell her over the next half hour the long story of the Dwemer artifact and the current conflict.

"They've shut me out of the University and two guild Apprentices tried to force me to go with them yesterday." Angel ended her narrative.

Hearing the last part, Carahil's eyes flashed in anger. "Nobody is going to force you to do anything." She said. The other mages had gathered to listen as Angel told her story and now they all nodded in agreement. Looking around at the assembled group, Carahil declared; "As of now, the Anvil Mages guild is an independent body and will act according to the dictates of our conscience. Without a word, the Mages drew together, their arms around the ones next to them forming a circle with Angel in the middle.

After stopping at the Mage's Guild hall and verifying that Angel was accounted for and currently occupied with Carahil, Elgin and Falanu settled into Benirus Manor. Their cloths, soaked from the day's travel in the rain were soon nearly dry. Wine and the fireplace began to have a comforting, relaxing effect on both of them. "Didn't you ever consider joining the Mage's guild?" Elgin asked, making small talk. "I mean since you are an alchemy dealer."

"I'm a merchant not an alchemist. My husband was the alchemist." Falanu answered sleepily. Even now, speaking of her husband brought back feelings of fidelity and responsibility. "Responsible to whom?" she thought. "He is gone and he is never coming back." Falanu couldn't help stealing another look at Elgin, seen now in the golden light of the fireplace. "With him, I could let go of the past."

Bellerius stiffened as, from a distance, he spotted his quarry outside the main Anvil gate. She appeared to be talking with two Mage's Guild Apprentices. Taking his bow he drew out a vial of poison and an arrow. "Akatosh, guide my hand." He said and released the bow string. The next moment the city guard manning his post near the trio collapsed. Feeling no remorse, Bellerius cast a chameleon spell and crouched down in a position of concealment to wait.

Angel turned and then started toward the fallen city guard. As she noticed the arrow she ran to the guards' side. The stains on the arrow revealed the presence of a deadly poison. Reaching into her organizer she drew a vial and poured it into the guards' slightly open mouth. "Swallow." she said in a way that penetrated despite the youth of the speaker.

The pain contorted face of the guard rapidly cleared. He cast a healing spell and pulled the arrow from his own side. Standing he looked suspiciously about for signs of a bow with the nearby spectators. Satisfied he made a visual sweep of the road and nearby brush. At last he stepped back to his post as though nothing had happened. "I'll have to report this." He thought. "Another incident for the record keepers." Since the Legion had begun gathering these reports from the cities and their own patrols, they had learned that there were about three deaths a year resulting from careless hunters or poorly prepared archery practice. "Citizens shouldn't be allowed to carry bows." He thought.

"Where were we?" Melchior asked; not wanting to let the conversation die.

Angel noted the eager look on Melchoirs' face and the equally sour expression on the face of his companion. "I'm afraid we are boring your friend but maybe we could talk sometime when you are off duty." She had learned that the two were assigned as additional security since the eviction of the Mage's guild in Skingrad.

As she spoke, a distant movement had caught Angels attention and she now looked in that direction. She could just make out a dark object on the road to Skingrad where it crested a hill. The object seemed to be undulating. Silently, the two mages had turned and were now watching the odd sight along with her.

"It looks like a bunch of people in black robes." Melchior said. "Some kind of pilgrimage maybe?" He speculated.

When the crowd had drawn near enough to make out individuals, Angel said; "Those aren't pilgrims. I've seen those robes before. Those are Necromancers." With that said, she reentered the town and ran to the Mage's Guild hall to give Carahil the warning.

Shouting commands, Carahil gathered the other mages. Assembled outside Carahil addressed the group. "We will meet them outside the gates so innocent citizens are not harmed." She said. "Use no undead summons; Daedric only. Do not engage their summoned creatures. Always attack the summoner instead. If you have a high skill in conjuration, you may be able to turn their undead with a spell. Be careful with spells that cover an area; you could end up injuring an ally. May the Nine guide and protect us." She concluded.

Angel felt a sense of pride seeing Carahils' purposeful stride as she went to meet this new danger.

Angel refused the `Restore Health' potions Phelen Relas held out to her, "I have some already, thanks". Looking dubious, Phelen moved on to the next mage. "Soon." Angel thought. As she watched, several of the approaching Necromancers cast shield spells and a moment later, a conjured zombie appeared and then rushed up the road toward the waiting mages.

At the sight of the zombie, the City guard drew his bow and began to methodically pump arrows into the disgusting summon. Angel knew there was no point in trying to divert him to the Necromancers who had called the thing into being. A moment later, there were a dozen of the things.

"What do you think?" Carahil asked Angel. "Can you turn them?"

"Yes." Angel said. She had already informed Carahil of her `Undead Ritual" spell. "I just need to get a little closer so I don't miss." Angel went forward knowing she was now the center of attention for the onrushing zombies. She checked her clothes once more to make sure there was nothing that would inhibit her magicka. Casting the spell, Angel was relieved to see her target throw it's arms up and turn; running straight back in the direction it had come from followed by most of the others. As the first of the remaining zombies reached her, Angel cast a simpler spell which drained her magicka much more slowly but still worked on a single undead. Behind the zombie were three skeletons and, with her manna low, it was Angels' turn to run. Passing between the Guild mages, Angel stopped and turned around in time to see the skeletons erupt in a ball of flames and bones as the Guild mages all cast fire spells simultaneously.

Hearing the first burst of a frost spell striking one of the mages, Angel pushed back into the front of the group. Born under the sign of the Atronach, Angel had no natural ability to regenerate magicka but she could absorb the spells others cast at her and use that magicka to power her own spells. She also wore an absorption amulet awarded to her by the Mages Guild. Despite all of that, the first frost spell to strike her still managed to bypass her absorption. She jumped and gave out a little-girl scream as the bone aching chill passed through her. The next two were absorbed and Angel cast a healing spell to relieve the residual pain.

In range by this time, several of the Necromancers charged at once; closing with the waiting mages. Angel now selected a potion from her organizer and drank it down. A spiral of shield magic showed that the potion was taking effect and she felt a surge of manna. Summoning a Clanfear, she saw a Necromancers' robe appear directly in front of her. Angel drew `Pest Control' from it's scabbard, pouring a watery poison over the blade of the long sword. Angel had discovered long ago that her arms were too short to use a dagger even for poison. She simply ended up swinging at the air. It wasn't necessary for her to do any real damage with her sword. The poison would splash against an opponent and be immediately absorbed into the skin. The blade was enchanted and stole health from it's victim, transferring that health to her.

Angel had learned the rhythm of melee battle when she had first taken to the roads searching for alchemy ingredients. "Summon. Block. Watch. Wait. Poison. Strike. Block. Shields. Manna. Potion. Poison. Strike. Block." The black robe in front of her dropped to her feet to be replaced by another. As the carnage continued, the world became a space directly in front of her. Angels' fighting blood, now aroused, demanded revenge for this attack against an innocent people.

"Was that the third or the fourth Clannfear?" Angel wondered, watching the summon run up the road pursuing the last of the Necromancers. All around her Angel saw mages casting healing spells. She realized now that she too needed restoration. Amazingly they were all still standing. Probably because of the gift of several thousand Septims worth of potions handed out by Phelen Relas before the battle. The Necromancers had not done nearly as well. There were six of them on the ground. Three of them directly in front of where Angel had stood.

Your writing is really great, really enjoyable read. Once I stopped trying to read it as Lore (and started from the beginning again) I could see there were several different factions that would be coming together for an epic battle. Very interesting story, I wish I had more background to know why Angel was considered evil and marked for death, I feel like I started reading a book in the middle and missed the important clues to what made up the characters - which actually I probably have since you said that the first chapters were dropped off the forum. I had a lot of distractions personally while trying to read it, which made it hard to keep up with the different factions, so I plan to re-read this when I have a quieter time to do it. Very good writing though, and you have a flair for using just the right amount of details to help the reader visualize what you are saying.

If I have any critique at all to give, it is against my own self as a reader in assuming the story was going to follow the game lines, but when I finally got over that and went back and re-read it as it should have been read from the beginning (with an open mind, lol) - I liked the story a whole lot more, and began to really get into Angel's story and character. There were several scenes that were outstanding, your detail was perfect, and I liked Angel in spite of not knowing what led up to her going from the "Hero of Kvatch" to the evil child that was marked for death. Great storyline!