[Karl harris]

Yeah even here in the UK where that kind of age gap is allowed it's still weird. No matter how benign it might be, it's unlikely to last. But I think you've probably heard enough about the age gap.

As for the rest of it, your mate sounds like he's being an idiot, frankly. Why does he think that he needs to ditch his band and his friends to be with this girl? Why does he see being in a band as a negative influence on his life? Sounds like he has some mindset issues that run deeper than the current situation.

[Paula Ramos]

I thought it was 1/2 + 7.

Seven and a half year olds aren't my cup of tea.

[Jinx Sykes]

Seven and a half year olds aren't my cup of tea.

hahaha/sarcasm
I thought people would know the context since the other guy said id but fine
half your age + 7. there happy ?

[Cathrin Hummel]

He think he can't enjoy music and being in a band even with a job? :mellow: I know several people who you would consider "hardcoe" musicians who play in a band as well as having normal everyday lives. Cutting off friendships like that is just him being a fool.

Also, this is something I've sadly encountered myself. While I was in High School a friend of mine started dating a girl younger than him (we were in year 11 at the time, she was in year 8). His new girlfriend didnt "approve" of us, so he pretty much broke off most of his friendships to be with a fickle high school girl that dumped him a year later for guy her own age. Essentially OP, your friend is being an utter idiot. 16 year old girls have the attention spans of doormice. Your friend is counting his chickens before they hatch with this girl. In all reality this wont last long and if this continues your friend will be left with all his bridges burnt and his ex-friends without sympathy.

[Mrs shelly Sugarplum]

Well really he doesn't have to break off being friends with his fellow band mates to date this girl. It's pretty moronic to blow off your friends every time a girl (or guy) comes around that you may or may not have a future with. Also, I don't see a reason why he really needed to quit the band. I know quite a few musicians who balanced school, relationships, jobs and being in a professional band (in fact most of our music teachers at our high school were and still are in bands and went through college while being in these bands).

I know a bloke in the same agegroup who's doing a dual major (law+French), plays in a http://spacesbetweendays.bandcamp.com/ (at least one person is committed to it as a career option) and one or two which are more casual (bit of money on the side, opportunity to play music). Works and has a girlfriend too, I'm pretty sure.



I suggest you avoid a "The band wants you back" angle, and go with "As far as I can see, you're being a complete idiot, why on earth are you doing things this way?". Level of tact up to you.

At the end of the day, what Mamagato said is true: if he continues with this path (i.e. its not an early-life-crisis or 'just a phase'), he's not worth the trouble.

On the other hand, could there be some drug use (including excessive alcohol consumption) or suchlike within the band? That may be a confronting question, but bands have been known to partake in such activities, and its very relevant. If that is a factor, would be an entirely understandable reason to cut ties with his band if he's trying to clean up his act, so to speak.

EDIT: What ever else you end up doing, I think its worth starting by asking him exactly what prompted this course of action.

[Harry Leon]

On the other hand, could there be some drug use (including excessive alcohol consumption) or suchlike within the band? That may be a confronting question, but bands have been known to partake in such activities, and its very relevant. If that is a factor, would be an entirely understandable reason to cut ties with his band if he's trying to clean up his act, so to speak.

Nobody does drugs in his band, let alone drinks. They were very strict on their screening/audition process for new members so they got some clean cut-christian guys to play with.

He is using prescription drugs that have anti- depressant side effects. They're only about 20% of what someone who had depression would take...so i doubt it'd effect him.

[Jessica Phoenix]

I think Its weird to date anyone 5 years apart from you, its gross. The male generally should be the older one so he can be more responsible. But not that much older its strange :\ i dont think its meant to be

~White Warloc

Welcome to the 21st century Mr. 1950's.

And god bless (not religiously of course) this country where you can date who you want dammit! (within reason)

As for the problem, I can't really say much except my hockey buddies had a friend like this who started dating this girl and after a few months he stopped coming to the rinks in the winter or playing street hockey in the summer, which was a shame because he was our goalie and he had the only real set of pads and chest protector that could allow us to play in tournaments/league's.

Oh right, a point to this.... It's a shame to lose a good friend to the evils of women but ultimately the only way they will find out is when they break up and none of his old friends want him back cuz he was such a dike when they were dating (almost the case with my above mentioned friend. We only accepted him back cuz of the equipment he possessed.... jkjk... somewhat)

[Joanne Crump]

I think Its weird to date anyone 5 years apart from you, its gross. The male generally should be the older one so he can be more responsible. But not that much older its strange :\ i dont think its meant to be

~White Warloc

you just saying this because your gf is older than you.