So, are the SPECIAL's so well balanced that people can't decide which are the most important, or do they just not matter too much?
If you've got the Broken Steel DLC then you can get a perk at level 30 that sets all your SPECIAL attributes to 9. Which effectively means any starting value is temporary, since there isn't any perk left that could possibly be better at level 30.
That said, the usual suggestion for "best" SPECIAL at start is at least 6 agility, luck, and perception, at least 5 strength and endurance, and preferably 9 intelligence. Intelligence gives you more skill points and the rest of the mentioned stats are due to requirements from what is widely considered "good perks". Note that there's no charisma requirement. Usually it's harmless to dump charisma to 1.
There's a quest which adds +1 to either strength or perception so obviously you could take 4 strength or 5 perception and get the bonus from said quest. If you're not using the unofficial patch then there's also an item that ads +1 luck, which is mistakenly considered a hard point rather than an item bonus. It's a bug but it does allow you to start with 5 luck and still get the perks.
Generally, I'd probably go with
S P E C I A L6 6 5 1 9 7 6
6 strength for carying capacity, 6 perception for seeing things early (and I'd take more perception in the mentioned quest), 5 endurance because you just don't die that often and healing is plentiful, 1 charisma because it's a useless attribute, 9 intelligence because I like being smart, 7 agility because it gives more AP for VATS and that's never harmful, and 6 luck because there's no less than three worthwhile items that provide a luck bonus, so pushing luck higher really isn't a huge priority.
You can't get toughness without 7 endurance, etc. Charisma is good only for raising certain skills at the beginning, but you can only have one follower no matter how high it is.
A few corrections, if you'll pardon me.
You need 5 endurance to get the toughness perk and as far as I know, you can have one non-human follower (the robot or Dogmeat) and one humanoid follower, regardless of what your charisma is. All charisma does is essentially allow a few not too useful perks and giving you a starter bonus to Speech and Barter, two very non-essential skills.