I read a bit of lore and have hand some conversations with people and i am unsure if they are truly gone or destroyed or are just waiting to return of there own accord?

The claim from a former Tong member in Riften that they made a pact to reform one day is really all we have on the subject. Here's hoping we get a bit more info with the Dragonborn DLC, seeing as Solstheim is kind of a Morrowind away from home now I'd bet if there is any chance of finding new info on the Tong it would be there.