Has also happened to me. Is deffo a bug

player.setstage freeformriftenthane 200

Worked for me. If you don't get a text popup saying the quest was complete, it didn't work.

This is unpleasant. I just bought my house and upgrades last night. Wonder if I still have the saves.

The upgrade thing doesn't work for me, loaded an earlier save and same thing.. didn't get the topic from the Jarl this time either

Thank you very much, that did it for me. I am now a thane, received a complementary weapon and Iona is chilling in my house.

That command worked for me as well

But it made my game extremely laggy for some time after i used it..

The easiest house to get is in Solitude. Basically you've to complete 3 quests of which two involve clearing out cave/tombs and the other is a simple 'fedex' quest.I got the house in Riften finally with my third character and I'm not even sure I followed the suggested sequence.

I have to say, the Riften house is amazing once you've upgraded it. Easily the best house. Unforunately, it's so hard to get, and in such a remote location, very few people will likely get it.

I've completed every quest for every NPC in Riften, and still no Thanedom. Thank goodness for cheat codes; otherwise this would force me to start a new char.

I have heard of this bug also. It seems that if you buy the house and upgrade it immediately, then the option to do the other tasks never comes up with the Jarl.

Only fix I've seen is to use the console or reload a save prior to buying the house.

This became bugged for me when I completed the Skooma quest before completing enough quests for the townies.

The steps I took were:

Did skooma quest
bought house
Did a few other quest for people in the market
Became Thane
Upgraded house

I honestly didn't know about the bug so I guess I was lucky I didn't upgrade the house earlier.

I did some quests.
Did Skooma quest.
Couldn't buy house, so did more quests.
Bought house, didn't upgrade.
Still no Thane, so finished every quest in town.
Still no Thane. :-p