I'm still not entirely clear on how the whole lizard [censored] things works, to be honest.
Oh boy. Prepare yourself for a Carepost about Lizardjugs.
On Fictional Representations of Mammary-bearing Lacertilia in Interactive Mediaor: "I don't think it quite works like that, boss."a dissertation by Doosty
Bethesda Softworks Forums 2011
Chapter 1: The Problem(or: How lizard get briast???)For a few shirts in the vanilla game, there's only one "chest" body part for both male and female characters. It has a sort of lump in the upper chest area which could be seen as either a bountiful bosom or rippling pecs depending on the six of the character wearing it. In the original game, many (perhaps all) of these shirts are worn only by male characters or the beast races, so the androgynous torso isn't an issue. The problem is, Better Clothes adds female versions of these body parts and adjusts the shirts to use them when worn by a female character. Now if a female Khajiit or Argonian wears one of these shirts, it uses the female mesh and the character develops briasts.
In an attempt to rectify this most heinous error, Better Clothes also adds Argonian versions
1 of these shirts which only have a male mesh (i.e. briastless) for both sixes. Both plugins--Normal and NAC--have these special lizard shirts defined. There is also a script (two, actually) which replaces the normal shirt with these Argonian versions on 18 female Argonian NPCs.
Here's where it gets a bit messed up. The two scripts I mentioned just now - there's a Setup script and a Swap script. The Setup script calls the Swap script on the aforementioned 18 lizard babes, and the Swap script replaces the briasted shirts with the briastless lizard shirts. Oh but wait, the Swap script only exists in the Normal plugin. Put simply, the Argonians only change from vanilla Morrowind--i.e. they develop briasts--in the No Argonian Change plugin. Yes, this is a thing which makes sense.
2The name is probably meant to refer to the change (or lack thereof) from a beast body replacer which adds briasts, to the use of that beast replacer with Better Clothes. This really would've made more sense if they'd named it "Argonian Change" instead (as in: changed from vanilla), and the readme weren't so awkwardly worded.
Alas...
Again for posterity: the lizards only have briasts in the NAC version.
There are also some other things only the Normal plugin adds: 2 conversation topics and a miscellaneous item - the Tailoring Kit. The topics are only added when you first talk to a Trader, Clothier or Pawnbroker, but as far as I can tell, they're then available with every NPC in the game - from Arrille to Dagoth Ur. (The Better Clothes readme does describe this, and they're right about it feeling out of place.)
One topic, "tailoring kit", is to add the Tailoring Kit to your inventory; the other topic, "clothing fit", get ready for this has the same function as the Tailoring Kit item, but whereas the Kit only works on your PC, the conversation topic only affects the NPC you're talking to--they do call the same script though. This script is in fact one I mentioned earlier: the Swap script. It's a simple piece of code, merely swapping any normal shirts in inventory with the Argonian versions, and vice versa. The issue is that, with minor exceptions, this script--and therefore the item and topics--is useless.
The exceptional situations are as follows:
1. You want the 18 vanilla Argonian NPCs to have briastless shirts.
2. You're using mods which add female Argonian NPCs to the game--wearing any manner of affected shirt. If not, you have one useless conversation topic crowding your already crowded and frequently seen topic list.
3. You're playing as a female Argonian yourself--again, only wearing an affected shirt. If not, you have a useless item in your inventory
3, and a useless conversation topic.
3.1. This will likely only matter if you spend a great deal of time staring at your lovely Argonian avatar with the third person camera. Or perhaps if the mere
concept of things being wrong, even if you can't see them, bothers you.
4 The topic will always be there though.
Chapter 2: The Solutions(or: Fix it or who cares.)Situation 1 can be fixed silently without new conversation topics or items. It's a simple matter of adding only a Swap script to the Better Clothes plugin, modified slightly to incorporate the NPC references from the Startup script. It'll run once then stop itself. Essentially, this would be what (I believe) the NAC plugin should have been.
Situation 2 can probably only be solved the way Better Clothes originally did it.
Situation 3 can be done slightly differently, with it being less invasive in the gameworld, but possibly less user friendly. Add the Tailoring Kit as before, but only give it to the player via a one-run script, or not at all; they'll have to use the console to add it.
Obviously, these can be mixed and matched; 1 could be combined with 3 or use a similar activation method if people don't want it done automatically (if at all). I feel that 2 could be forgotten about, given the likely small impact it would have on the userbase
5.
The Who Cares solution is pretty much what you'd expect: add the clothes and nothing else. Lizards get puppies; who gives a toss. I believe this is your current line of thinking. I may not agree, but I can't fault your reasoning.
Conclusiongood god what has become of me
AcknowledgementsSlof, LizTail, among many others: without your fine work we would never have dongs and jubblies on cats and lizards, and would not be in this most curious situation in the first place. Honestly, thank you. Really. ...
Psychodog Studios: for their effort in reducing the effect of such anatomical abominations.
BTB, and supporters: for caring about balance in a single-player game. What odd people you are.
Notes1 I don't know why there are only Argonian versions. Perhaps the makers assume everyone will be adding boobs to the cats, but realise boobs on a lizard is just
too far for some people.
2 no it isn't, gj better clothes team!!
3 To be fair, it is weightless and can be dropped, so it's of little consequence unless the concept itself bothers you.
44 It bothers me.
5 Better Clothes has a wide range of appeal; BTBGI not so much. Perhaps a similar percentage would be affected, but in comparison it would be a smaller number.