Hmmm, getting sick from using the wrong ingredients with alchemy... no where did I saw that before.... :rofl:
Nicely done!

As Aradroth might say, "She's a beaut!" I think maybe this is my favourite story so far! There was lots going on here, past, present and future, but you tied it all up in a nifty package. You activated several of my body parts with this story. The dream made my spine tingle. The shooting Bambi part made my stomach queasy. It touched my heart when you mentioned Mazoga at the end - that showed me Buffy has the courage to follow her humanity (elfity?).

Hello, you've gained a new fan. I spent ages reading from the start yesterday, and straight away I was hooked on your work. I'm still in the early stages of the story (Buffy has just finished her university training) so I won't comment on for what everyone else is old news.

I've only briefly dipped into Fan Fiction previously, and have never been impressed. Bad writing, plot holes, or just the feeling that the story isn't 'flying'. Perhaps I've been unlucky in what I've read. With Buffy, by the time I'd read the third installment I was completely immersed in her life.

I'm looking forward to the long journey to get myself up to date.

I hope you can find more "Interactive Images" I thought it was really slick

In Chapter 55, Buffy woke from a dark dream, but then set about her day in Bravil, taking note of the bustling activity caused by the pending archery tournament. She also investigated the mysterious Aradroth, and made both culinary and cautionary preparations for dinner with him.

For all: I'm so pleased the interactive image from Buffy's (Dark Brotherhood) dream seems to have been well-received. I was afraid it might be a little cumbersome, but when Leydenne sent it to me, a chill went up my spine that I just had to share with you.

hauteecole rider- Feline Friend - thank you so much!
I'm quite sure imp chips were invented by Sage SubRosa.
Yes, vendor is preferred over its alternate and unintended spelling of vender - I changed it and thank you.
I hope you will enjoy the coming tourney.

SubRosa- Thank you very much. I'm so pleased the passages you quoted worked for you! I also appreciate, as always, your keen editorial eye - gratefully fixed.

mALX- Thanks! Yes, Bravil is home. -_-

Foxy- I couldn't believe it when Buffy first got her home and chose to stuff her cooking and alchemy supplies in the same cabinet. :yuck: Well, cooking is not a major skill for her.

Wolf- Thank you so much for the encouragement and your trust that I will not muck Aradroth up too badly. My true test though is in the upcoming story.

Destri- Yes! There were many things going on in this story. Thank you for noting the primary theme so eloquently. One of the advantages of the forum type venue, is that it allows reader participation and assistance. I value the opinions of my wonderful readers and, as I hopefully have demonstrated on several occasions, those opinions influence 'our' story.

Digz- I so appreciate you providing me feedback on what you get from the stories, and taking the time to share it with me. As I have said to you many times, it really helps me know how close to target I am. My comments to Destri pertain to you as well, my friend. I so hope you will enjoy the upcoming Bravil Archery Tournament.

Remko- Thank you! Ah yes, I well remember Rales' misadventures with alchemy.

Koala- Wow! Thank you for the kind words. I'm so glad you enjoyed the story and I appreciate the insight of your comments.

S'lider- Well, you have certainly undertaken a rather large task, and one that I am most indebted to you for. I thank you for your kind words and hope so much you will continue.

mcbeanie-Thanks! I'm so glad you liked the image and I appreciate the encouragement!


56 Bravil - Dinner for Two

I opened the door and stepped back. "Come in Aradroth. You can place your cloak and weapons on my front table here if you like. I figure you might be more comfortable dining without them?"

"G'day to you too Buffy." Aradroth cocked his head. "If that's true, why is my hostess sporting a bow as large as she, with bristling quiver to boot?"

I held his stare. "I'll take mine off, but you first."

"Ah yes. I do have that effect on people sometimes." His hand moved towards his sword, but stopped cold when he saw my fingers start to glow. "By crikey woman, you are nervous. I'm just trying to do as you asked." He slowly held open his cloak, produced a bottle and set it on the table. "I'm going to take off my weaponry and outer garment now. Don't turn me into a chicken or anything."

I nodded, but kept my distance and glanced at the bottle. "Tamika's. How'd you know?"

"Your own words to Ardaline yesterday." Aradroth had placed his sword belt, bow, quiver and cloak on the table. He raised his hands and added with an amused, but dry smile, "do you need to search me?"

With his cloak off, I could clearly see his black shrouded armor was like mine - and just as form fitting. I watched as he slowly turned all the way around in front of me - short elf, bored expression, cute butt, no hidden weapons. "No. that's ok."

"Buffy, I can see you're uncomfortable. Some of your likely perceptions about me are not wrong; however, I assure you I am harmless as a kitten in what is now my home town of Bravil. I expect you know that without weapons, I am no match for your magic."

"Thanks for understanding Aradroth. A girl can't be too careful you know." I removed my bow and quiver. "Thank you for the wine too. That was very thoughtful. Would you pour?"

Soon, two bowls of hot venison stew joined the bread and cheese upon my table. With our goblets filled, Aradroth even held my chair for me. My hand still twitched defensively with a hint of magicka when he came close.

"So Aradroth, I noticed your accent and some of your unusual speech. I take it you're not from around here?"

"Valenwood actually. I was rather forcefully encouraged to leave there due to my. . . appetites." His eyes still reflected a lack of emotion. "Among other things, I was drawn to the illusion specialty offered by your local guild of mages."

"Yes," I replied trying to get him to open up. "Will you be specializing in illusion at the University then, like I did?"

"Buffy, I don't think you quite understand. I'm no mage, nor do I desire to become one. I find the whole guild simply a path to the tools I want. All I desire from the University is access to their altars and alchemical garden." He calmly sipped his wine.

I swirled my goblet slowly, then looked at him. "Aradroth, forgive my saying so, but you sound bored by the guild. If you don't want to experience the wonders and friendships that the guild and University can offer, what is it that ignites your passion?" I then added, "or are you as cold as you seem?"

"Yes to all of that." His face remained elusively impassive. "I do have a passion, however." His slate gray eyes now bored into mine. "I believe you understand that? I recall your professional tone as you began to describe poisons yesterday at the guild. Your arrow selections from Daenlin - rather specialized, yes? I see the shrouded armor displayed upon your bureau. Tell me Buffy," he paused for another sip of wine, "what is the color of night?"

Instantly, I recognized the challenge. Although not overly surprised, the image of a memory flashed into my mind and a chill ran up my spine.

"Sanguine, my brother." I met Aradroth's stare. "You're wrong about me though. Joining the Brotherhood was a mistake - sort of. I cannot kill innocent people that I don't even know." Aradroth won the staring contest, as I lowered my eyes into the crimson depths of my goblet. "Yet. . . my dark brothers and sisters love me, and I will not abandon or betray that love." After a moment, I added, "I wonder if you feel any kindness at all?" I looked up hopefully at the Bosmer.

"Perhaps at one time, Buffy." Aradroth's voice had softened briefly, but just as quickly grew cold again. "As for the fawning followers of Sithis, they too are merely tools. They pay and equip me to indulge in things I probably would anyway."

"If that is true, why do you not slay me? For that matter, why do you not kill everyone in Bravil?"

"Bravil is where I choose to live. I need the services the town offers, and I have. . . grown to know some of the people that live here. And what of you Buffy? Your skills, equipment and membership in the guild of assassins, attests that you are no stranger to killing."

"I have a doctrine that I live by. It's written in blood."

"A doctrine that tells you when to kill?" Aradroth flashed a smile. His look of boredom was now one of mild amusemant. "I'd love to hear it."

I recited The Buffy Doctrine: "If you are kind to me, I will love you dearly; if you are mean to me or my friends, I will likely kill you."

An eyebrow arched. "Buffy, what a deliciously fascinating creature of contradictions you are!"

"I have learned to survive in a harsh land, and I lay no claim to goodness." Defiantly returning his gaze, I continued, "killing with my bow is exhilarating, and I do not apologize for that. When my friends are threatened, I freely admit to rage, vengeance and even cruelty. I - I simply do not kill innocent people. Aradroth, I'm sorry you feel no kindness. I hope someday that will change for you." Holding up my goblet, I initiated a toast to change the mood, "here's to a lot more understanding of each other than we had an hour ago."

"Yes, and to a fine meal." Aradroth touched his goblet to mine. "Now, might I prevail upon you to show me something green and a bit more deadly than the stuff Ardaline might cook up?"

Stalling for time, I rose to refill our goblets, then stirred some life into my fireplace.

Buffy?

Kneeling, as I tended the fire, I looked up and barely nodded to acknowledge the paladin's silent voice in my head.

Are you sure that enabling an assassin with sophisticated poisons is wise?

It seemed that the only interests Aradroth and I shared were lethal ones. Yet. . . I wanted him to continue opening up to me. I had seen glimmers that perhaps he was not as dark as he seemed. Acadian was right though. I smiled, and winked at the flames.

"Come," I finally said to Aradroth. A few moments later we were standing in front of my alchemy table. "I'm going to show you a glimpse of what could be possible for you." I laid out five ingredients, one of them in a small leather pouch.

"Five? I thought four ingred-"

Placing a finger to Aradroth's lips, I interrupted. "Don't think, just watch." I placed a portion of spiddal stick into my mortar, and a blob of congealed putrescence. I added a piece of harrada root, and sprinkled in some frost salts. "Now here's the tricky part. The harrada was only to coax the frost salts into the poison. We can take it out now." I removed the harrada. "See? The other three items stay in there just fine. Now, we add a secret ingredient, some water and mix." I did not tell Aradroth that the powder I added from the pouch was vampire dust; nor did I tell him that commonly found gall of imp would work as well as the congealed putrescence that could only be found on the mysterious island in Niben Bay.

I poured the resulting thick liquid into a green vial, which I sealed. "This poison will silence your enemy, deplete his health, and cause both fire and frost damage. It can be quite lethal - particularly against strong opponents that can cast spells."

The bored look was gone from Aradroth's eyes. "I see that I stand before a master. How may I repay you for you for this lesson in lethality? And of course, what are the two unfamiliar ingredients?

"How can you repay me? Consider how much evil there is that needs to be destroyed. You don't have to be part of it." The gentleness in my voice surprised me. "This poison works just as well on necromancers and vampire battlemages as is does on innocent men or mer. You think of Bravil as your home and you don't kill innocent Bravilians. I hope that one day that you can think of all Cyrodiil as your home." I placed the poison inside my cabinet. "When you do, I will share my secrets with you."

Aradroth sighed. "Nilawen says similar things when she overhears Nordinor and I talking. She too is convinced I have a heart."

I was unsure if I had touched that heart or not. Regardless, the mood became awkward, and I changed the subject. "Let's talk archery Aradroth. Are you any good?"

The elf cocked his head. "Well, I can hold my own, but because I split focus between sword, bow and magic, I'm no expert. Why?"

"Will you enter the tournament with me? It means so much to my master Daenlin to have some competition. Please?"

"After your hospitality and wonderful meal, how could I refuse? Besides, I rather like Daenlin."

"Wonderful!" I grinned, "may the best Bosmer win. Tell me, what kind of enchantment is on your bow?"

"I use a demoralize effect. Let a victim run away full of poison, or even alternate between two enemies to keep them dancing in fear."

"That's brilliant Aradroth," I said truthfully.

He looked at my bow in the corner. "And yours?"

"Slayer will totally but briefly drain an enemy's speed. Upon impact, it makes my target ignore me and the snap of my bowstring for a moment. I can usually remain hidden after shooting.

Aradroth whistled softly. After rubbing his chin for a moment, he asked, "say Buffy, you know that you can reduce the sound of your bowstring, right?"

My mouth fell open and I stared at him. Aradroth gently lifted my lower jaw closed. He actually smiled at me before continuing, "can you see the tassels on my bowstring?"

A few moments later, Slayer was in my hand and we were standing in the open door of my home, looking out into the night.

Aradroth pointed. "From right here, shoot that roof across the river and listen to your bow."

Obediently, I loosed an arrow. THWACK! "So?"

Aradroth took Slayer. I watched carefully as he fitted two small yarn tassels, one approximately a hand's width from each end of the bowstring. "Here, try it now."

I did so. thwick. "Aradroth! That is quiet. How?"

"Well, they tell me it has something to do with helping to equalize the speed at which the different parts of the bowstring snap home, but I make no pretense of understanding. I just know it works, as you can see." Aradroth smiled again. I was surprised that, for once, the smile included his eyes. "Buffy, I know I. . . make people uncomfortable. In spite of that, you have reached out to me with kindness. I will not forget that."

"Why Aradroth, there may be a glimmer of hope for you after all." I returned his smile. "We'll go hunting sometime. Welcome to Bravil."

NOW Acadian has written of a piece of bowcraft I did not know!!!

As was said many a time in the Old Kung Fu movies:

"The student has surpassed the Master!!!"

:bowdown:

Another wonderful chapter that just makes me purr in contentment!



Hellooo, Buffy! You are my kind of girlfriend, all right! :dance:

A few nits:

I'm no grammarian, but it feels like you mixed up tenses in this sentence. I believe you mean either:
Bravil is where I choose to live.
- or -
Bravil was where I chose to live.


It's spelled harrada, both in game (vanilla Oblivion) and on UESP Wiki, my favorite reference for all things TES.

And kudos on describing the use of co-factors in alchemy! Those are substances that are essential for a chemical reaction to occur, but are not consumed by the reaction or present in the final product. They just make certain steps possible. I think you did an awesome job presenting harrada root as a co-factor in this very sophisticated poison! :goodjob:

And keep ramping up the anticipation for that tourney! Is Errol Flynn (complete with womanizing grin, big swagger and fake eyepatch) going to show up at this? :hubbahubba:

Another excellent piece. We learn a little bit more about Ardaroth (namely that he has a cute butt... ), and see the value of Buffy's University training in the very complex potion she concocted. Top it off with her learning a rather neat archery trick, and you have given us a tour de force of skill! :celebration:

I echo the statements above. The alchemy lesson was absolutely fascinating reading. You had me right there, wide-eyed with Aradroth, hanging on Buffy's every word. I'm on the edge of my seat for this tournament!

One microscopic nitpick:


I think you meant 'of' here.

You took what many of your readers thought could be a dangerous situation and turned it into an amazing addition to the tale. The rapid character development that took place in this chapter was very well done (Aradroth's character that is). It is always fun to learn more about the people Buffy interacts with it seems to bring her, and the world she lives in, to life even more. You gave us a healthy serving of dinner, alcohol, marksmanship, and alchemy all in one chapter. I have said it before, and I can't help but to say it again, you continue to impress me over and over again with your skill as a writer. I can't wait for the next chapter.

~Digz~

Thanks for the Alchemy lesson. Although I knew about the effect, I never thought it through to the point of using it to extend the options for ingredients.

Once again, Buffy navigates a very dark landscape and through thought and deed, she exits with her true self intact.

I agree with Digz, Aradroth is really adding a lot of intrigue to the story !!!

Wow. I shake my head in amazement. That was brilliant writing. :twirl:
Buffy is not the only one with a new string to her bow....

What started out as a strange story with a new NPC is now full of instruction and guidance for the both of them. How cool it was to see Buffy follow through on her instincts.

I get the feeling that Aradroth has a new found appreciation for the citizens of Bravil. :woot:

Bring on the tournament !!

Good stuff, Acadian. Very well done on the dialog between Buffy and icy Aradoth. Just glimmers into his psyche, but maintaining his character as a cold, near heartless character - it's very easy to just "flatten" that type of character, or make them too easily "warmed" up.

There was a lot to read here- and that is a GOOD thing. I am simply going to take things as they come, without editing my comments even if later events change my perceptions. Sort of "stream-of-consciousness" commenting.





The description of City Swimmer's death and Buffy's feelings about Gladius rang wonderfully true.

My doggie whiskers also twitched in dismay as Buffy invited the dark and chilly stranger to her home. But? it is a very "Buffy" thing to do.

The interactive image added a wonderfully creepy bit of immersion?.





Ha. There have been a few young ladies of my (ahem) acquaintance who would have done well to follow that practice. Fortunately, Mrs. Treydog is a brilliant cook.

The alchemy lesson- especially the idea of using a catalyst- was excellent. And the archery lesson was equally so.

You give Aradroth enough personality to make him quite 3-dimensional, without making him necessarily "comfortable." These last several chapters have been a true showcase of your outstanding writing. And now my doggie belly is well-filled with a most wonderful meal prepared by Acadian.

Noticing a cute butt in tight leather - WooHoo, works for me!
This part is soooooooo Buffy:

Good work.

In Chapter 56, Buffy and Aradroth (the mysterious new Bravil resident) shared a meal. Although it seems that lethal topics were the only things they had in common, Buffy persisted in reaching out. It seems they may have achieved some degree of mutual understanding.

Foxy- Your earlier comment on bowstring noise sent me into research. I quickly learned from the bow hunting community, that the technology behind some modern bow sound attenuators is every bit as simple as that demonstrated by Aradroth. I consulted a mechanical engineer who has an interest in both bow hunting and medieval technology - Aradroth's device got his seal of approval. Although the effect is not as dramatic as I portray, it is noticeable.

hauteecole rider- Thank you for the kind words! Thanks also for taking the time to point out a couple little errors so I could fix them. I discovered the ability to 'coax' ingredients into poisons by manipulating, them quite by fortuitous accident.

SubRosa- Thank you! I couldn't resist sharing a poison recipe and a couple of effective bow enchantments. I'm glad it worked in with the interaction.

Destri- I so appreciate your kind words. That is my favorite poison - Silence + 3 types of damage. When preceded by a weakness to poison spell, it is simply OMG. Thank you also catching a small error so I could fix it.

Digz- I'm so pleased you thought the dinner turned out well! As always, I am humbled and grateful for your steadfast encouragement. ^_^

bobg- Thank you for the kind words. Thank you even more for believing so much in Buffy. Once she leaves Bravil and returns again to the University, I expect she will learn of a young alchemist whose skills far exceed her own.

mALX- Thank you! I'm glad you think our elf of mystery adds to the story!

Wolf- I am humbled by the trust you have placed in me to present Aradroth. It seems only natural since we are neighbors in the City of Mara. :nod: Thank you so much Wolf.

Leydenne- As always, it is a wonderful thing when Lady Leydenne stops in for a mug of ale and a read. :foodndrink: I am so pleased that you thought Aradroth was well presented.

treydog- Welcome back! I found the interface with Aradroth to be a little daunting. Similarly, I am stretching my comfort zone as I work on an archery tournament that seems to have generated some rather ambitious expectations. Your confidence in me and your encouragement are like soothing calm waters that just so happen to be exactly what I needed now. Thank you my friend.

Koala- Cute butts, yes. Well, Teinaava is the only fellow in the actual game that wears shrouded armor. The effect just doesn't seem to work with an Argonian's tail. If you have ever played a he-assassin in third person view however, you know what Buffy means. Thanks for the kind words!

Zalphon- Thanks for stopping by and reading, my friend! I'm enjoying your newest story.


57 Bravil - The Tournament of Archers, Part 1

With one arm linked in Daenlin's, we threaded our way among the merchants, visitors and pickpockets that filled the streets of Bravil. "Daenlin, it's still early in the day, yet can you believe all these people filling our quiet town? How exciting. Oh look, a little shop full of nothing but shoes!"

"Guard your coin purse and stay close," the Bosmer chuckled. He gently, but insistently, maneuvered me past the many vendors and tarp-covered stands offering all kinds of wares. "We're shooting this morning."

I whispered, "I'll be back!" over my shoulder to the shoe vendor as my escort dragged me along. "Daenlin, tourney eliminations just started. We have three days to qualify, you know." My head was on a swivel at all the new sights that had sprung up, seemingly overnight.

Passing the Fighters Guild, we could hear the unmistakable sounds of archery practice behind the building. Daenlin smiled. "I'll bet the local guild commander has all of his bow users working their tails off back there. It'll be interesting to see what kind of contingent the guild puts up for competition this year."

The area outside the city gate had sprung its own share of tarps, tents and temporary merchants, all drawn to our town by the tournament of archers. The stables seemed out of place now, in the middle of what had become a festive tent city.

The judging station was under a white tarp, punctuated by broad red stripes, and flanked by two guards. Behind the small table were three chairs and one very official looking Imperial. "Here to register?" asked the judge. Apparently taking his answer from the bows strapped to our backs, he continued without pause, "I presume you've read the rules of competition and have the required entry tribute?"

Daenlin nodded. We each counted out a stack of Septims and signed the tourney book.

The judge recited, "qualification consists of three flights of three for a total of nine arrows and a maximum score of ninety. The first flight is untimed at medium range. The second flight, at the same range, is a rapid-fire event limited to thirty seconds. The final flight is untimed against a long-range target." The Imperal paused for a short breath and continued, "all arrows must come from your quiver or arrow bag - no prestaging in the ground by your feet is allowed. The top ten archers over the next three days will advance to the finals. Good luck."

"You first Master," I said to Daenlin as we moved to the shooting line.

"I'm Sinia, one of the line judges," the Redguard proclaimed. She smiled and pointed down range. There's your target, whenever you're ready."

Daenlin nocked an arrow to the Bow of Infliction. Even depleted of charges, as the competition safety rules required, it was the most beautiful bow I had ever seen. His style was smooth and effortless, reflecting decades of practice. Three arrows soon adorned the ten ring of his target.

The balding Bosmer was a hunter, and rarely required to shoot rapidly. I was therefore not surprised to see him drop three points on the rapid-fire event that followed.

During the final, long-range untimed event, Daenlin again demonstrated why he was the reigning champion.

The Redguard smiled at the old Bosmer. "That was some impressive shooting! Your score is eighty seven." She then turned to me, "you're next young lady."

I was grinning because Daenlin had done so well. As I slid Slayer from my back, it seemed odd not seeing the gentle red glow appear to let me know it was charged with magic. Compared to the Bow of Infliction, Slayer was very plain - not beautiful by any definition. The bow which had kept me alive through many encounters, though, was light, powerful and true.

I had no trouble hitting the center of the target with all three arrows on the first flight.

The line judge would begin the timing for my second flight as soon as my fingers touched the first arrow in my quiver. I mentally rehearsed before starting. Unlike Daenlin, I was no stranger to shooting under pressure. My right hand reached up towards my shoulder.

After I quickly fired three arrows, another official, stationed on the target line called back the score, "ten, ten, nine."

Tossing a pinch of dirt into the air, I noted the direction of the light wind, and thought about my strategy. This final target was farther away, but the flight would not be timed. My master the hunter, and his apprentice the sniper, were both good at long range. I was potentially two points ahead of Daenlin.

I nocked my first arrow and pulled some tension on Slayer's bowstring. Concentrating on the target, I magically snapped it into enhanced focus. After carefully determining my final aim point, I controlled my breathing, drew the bowstring to my ear and released it. With my enhanced view, I was instantly gratified to see a bull's-eye. I repeated this for a second ten. Just before drawing full tension for my final arrow, I eased my aim point slightly to the right and quietly said, "ouch."

The target line official yelled, "ten, ten, seven."

"Eighty six. Nice shooting," remarked Sinia. The Redguard then lowered her voice and added, "don't hold me to it, but I'm quite sure those scores will get both of you into the finals. Congratulations."

As we stepped back towards the benches in the reviewing area, Daenlin eyed me suspiciously. "What happened on that final shot Buffy?"

"Something got in my eye at the last moment. Are you proud of me though? I shot almost as well as you did!" Without giving him a chance to pursue it, I added, "Are you hungry? I'll get us some food, then we can sit here, enjoy an early lunch and watch some of the qualifications."

Wonderful smells beckoned me towards the smoky tent, with its front panels tied open.

"Well Milady, what suits your fancy today?" The ruddy-faced Imperial grinned enthusiastically. "I have some savory boar sausage flavored with sage? Perhaps a piece of this fresh Niben slaughterfish, grilled with butter and a delicious selection of herbs?"

"They both sound wonderful. I think I'll have some of each." I then added cheerfully, "Oh, and a loaf of bread with two bottles of ale please."

A few minutes later, Daenlin and I were clinking bottles to congratulate each other on shooting well. Between mouthfuls, he filled me in. "Schlera Sestius registered while you were gone. Riveus also signed in. They're both shooting now."

I had met Schlera when passing through Pell's Gate. The dark haired Imperial was a fine archer, but I shook my head as I watched her. "Daenlin, if you ever see me wear a mithril cuirass with a long skirt, will you promise to shoot me? How's she doing?"

Daenlin chuckled. "Well, she's dedicated, but not gifted. I suspect she'll qualify though. Say, this food is really good."

I turned my attention to Riveus. The Imperial was a forester for the Legion and assigned to County Bravil. Daenlin and I encountered him routinely while hunting. The ladies liked him, and it was easy to see why with his rugged good looks and clear blue eyes that fairly sparkled. His hair, which was tied back in a queue, was the color of mine. He was dressed in a green forester shirt with leather greaves and boots. A white silk scarf was jauntily draqed around his neck. The dashing Imperial certainly did not suffer from Schlera's lack of fashion sense.

What did I know though? Seeing the handsome man reminded me of another member of the Legion - one that wore the white and black armor of Kvatch, filthy with smoke, blood and the innards of countless Daedra. No white scarf adorned the man with the heart of a lion - just a black headband soaked with sweat and blood.

I willed myself away from the dark sky of Kvatch, and back to the cheerful sunshine next to my friend and master of the bow. I wanted, just for my short time in Bravil, to be a carefree young girl.

We watched Riveus shoot long enough to get a feel for his style. Although not a master, he was a solid and consistent archer.

With our lunch finished, Daenlin turned and pointed towards the merchant tents. "Look Buffy, it seems both Tamika and the Surile Brothers have set up displays. I expect both wineries will do quite well here over the next few days. Let's split up for an hour or so to do some shopping. Then we can get back together and head over towards Bloodmayne Cave for some target practice away from prying eyes. How's that sound?"

"Shopping?" I chirped with a smile.

Now that's what I'm talkin' about!!!! I could picture it all, the carnival style tents set up with food, the sounds of practice shooting in the background, crowds - AWESOME !!! I am so excited about this, and wish Maxical was alive to join in the fun!!! I had a vision of her trying to win a stuffed animal by shooting something with a bow and arrow, and hearing a yelp behind her...turning around and saying, "Buffy! Remember me? It's Maxical!"

Well, I finally caught up, only to find that a new episode had just appeared.

I'm not a writer, nor ever will be, but I do enjoy a good story well told, and reading the whole of Buffy's tale over the course of the last week has been a delight. You have the ability to draw us straight into Buffy's world, superficially familiar to all of us, but so much richer, the stories more meaningful and the other characters more rounded and believable.

I love the touches of humour, the gameplay tips woven seamlessly into the story, and the subtle changes of pace.

There have been many stand out moments in my journey through Buffy's tale, the most recent being the description of the tense dinner date with Aradroth. The alchemy demonstration had me scribbling notes, and then referring to UESP.

I thought that I roleplayed my characters, I keep a journal and everything, but your writing shows how deep the roleplaying concept can be taken. You are clearly a man with a profound love for Cyrodiil and its inhabitants, and someone who has thought deeply about that world, how it works, and how it is presented to is in the form of a computer game. Crucially you have the writing skills to share that knowledge and love with us. Thank you.

I have just one tiny criticism. The island entrance to The Shivering Isles sits close to Bravil; a mystery and invitation to everyone who passes through the city. The SI exists in Buffy's world, she uses a Grummite bow and SI ingredients, but the place seems barely to exist in the consciousness of the Bravil residents. Buffy even went to the Fringe to get the bow; I'm surprised that she isn't more curious about the lands of beyond the strange portal. I know that you have your story arc, and can't have Buffy running after every interesting looking thing she goes past, but I would like to see some acknowledgement of the Isles existence by Buffy or by other characters in your story, even if it is just idle speculation one night in Silverholme on the Water.

That tiny point aside, I look forward to further instalments of Buffy's story. In particular I'm itching to know what happens in the course of her next visit to Kvatch.

On this freezing cold and dreary January day (think Northern Illinois), I was immediately transported to the mild, sunny climes of Merry Olde England as represented by Big Studio Hollywood. I could smell the wonderful food, feel the mild, mild breeze (unlike the icy wind this morning) on my face, feel the fresh green grass and cool dirt between my toes, and the warmth of the sun on my head and shoulders. I could hear the excitement and bustle of this tourney day, the twanging of bowstrings, and the calls of the archery judges. :dance:

Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful! :wub: Until I looked out the window and saw the grey January day again. :cold:

One little nit:


It just reads a little awkwardly. Maybe just moving that first comma over may change the feel of it:
The bow which had kept me alive through many encounters, though, was light, powerful and true.

Otherwise I was enthralled at this wonderful, warm, sunny day that you have created so vividly! :touched:

Very vividly written!
Even with writing it is clear we share a deep love for the alchemy aspect in TES! You went even further, using a catalyst. Loved it!

Your description of the tournament was amazing. Buffy's reluctance to outshoot her mentor was absolutely consistent with her character. I hope I don't spoil anything with my guess, but it occurs to me that this event might mark the perfect time for Buffy to make the acquaintance of Cyrodiil's master archer, Alawen.

This opening:

completely captures both my sister and my girlfriend!

I loved the carnival atmosphere that you conveyed enveloping Bravil. Especially the observation of how odd the stable looked swallowed up by the tent city of the tournament around it. I could practically smell the roasting boar and grilled slaughterfish (the latter sounded most yummy, I know what a certain stringy wood elf would be eating!).

I also thought the note about archers not being allowed to pre-stage arrows in the ground was a very nice touch at realism.

It was also very sweet to see Buffy deliberately throwing her last shot in order to stay behind Daenlin. :wub:


This was very cute and welcome in its simplicity:
Oh look, a little shop full of nothing but shoes!"
The archery tournament now receives the official girly seal of approval?


The last nugget is this:
I wanted, just for my short time in Bravil, to be a carefree young girl.
This is a very simple, but poignant line. It hearkens us back to the days when Buffy was indeed that young girl. How long ago has it been? It almost seems decades now does it not? I fear that no matter how hard Buffy tries, she will discover that she cannot go home again...


On nit:

The Imperial was a forrester for the Legion and assigned to County Bravil.
I think you wanted one "r" in "forester" here?

Epic yet again! First day of the tourney, just qualifying, but yet still you made it so very interesting to read. And the description of the food! I have to eat after I make this post that is for sure. You my friend are a master of the TES universe making it all come to life, and keeping your story fresh with new and interesting insights into the world around Buffy. I just can't get enough! Keep up the great work!