» Sat May 28, 2011 10:05 am
If I could ever learn to hit one target with two arrows simultaneously I swear I would never lift a blade again!
As always, your writing is excellent. When you think of the action that took place in this chapter (Buffy and Daenlin walking together, killing a pair of wisps, engaging in target practice, and then Buffy taking Superian for a run and meeting a new contestant for the tournament), there are not many writers who could have made that as engaging as you did. I thought that the way you introduced Alawen in the story was very effective. I imagine that you have some plans for that white horse of hers?
If I might make a suggestion, I think you missed an opportunity during Buffy's walk with Daenlin. After she tells Daenlin where she won her hard earned skill he reacts as if she told him that she learned it shooting at targets outside the Chorral Fighter's Guild. I know he has expressed his opinion of Buffy's recklessness in the past, but she shouldn't be able to tell him that she is hanging out in a plane of Oblivion without some form of strong reaction. Just an opinion. :shrug: