*taps foot impatiently waiting for the next chapter*

Some comments about chapter 45, then introducing chapter 46 -

@RemkoNL- I'm glad you like that I try to get into the heads of the characters. Thank you!

@mALX- Best chapter!?! Wow! :celebration: Thank you!

@mcbeanie- Aww? Thanks so much!

@SubRosa- Thank you again, for taking the time to share your valued impressions with me. You help so much to keep me on course or correct me a bit when necessary. :nod: Once again, several moving parts here - it is so gratifying that you picked up on all of them. Upon reflection, I agree with you 'bout 'Zoga and edited to fix accordingly - thank you!

@Zalphon- Thanks for taking the time to read our stories!

@Wolf- High praise! Thank you. Buffy running the show - ooohhh she hates that!

@Destri- Wow! Thank you. One does the best one can with lines such as "You're a pal!, Gods' Ghoulies!, and of course the infamous ?Tag along if you like."

@Digz- Thank you so much for staying with us. I so appreciate your insights and encouragement my friend. :icecream:

@Koala- Thanks! Buffy is maturing, but I suspect she will never really outgrow the girl inside.

@treydog- We missed you so very much my friend and are delighted to have you back! Thank you for the kind words. I'm trying to work on my descriptions, when I can relate them into the story, such as the morning fog turning to sun in the above story. Sense of responsibility - Buffy hates that, but neither can she entirely avoid it. Oh? keeping those Wood Elves apart: Buffy's the scrawny blonde. Teresa's the stringy redhead. Can't miss 'em. :lmao:

@Nummos- Thanks for popping in! New chapter coming right up!

-----

Now, Chapter 46 follows and I have two questions for readers.

1.This chapter, at approximately 2100 words, is longer than my preferred 1000-1500 words. I felt it awkward to break up or reduce though. In the future, should I try harder to break into two chapters, or simply allow the occasionally slightly longer chapter?

2. In the middle section of this story is the passage of several days that transform Buffy and are tightly summarized in a very 'tell' instead of 'show' manner. I did this to avoid a detailed saga, while efficiently showing the passage of quite a few days. I tend to think that tell, show and dialogue all have their place, depending on intent. Was that effective for this purpose?


46 There Be Dragons Here

"A dragon!" I breathed in amazement. The massive gray statue was undoubtedly a Daedric Shrine. I was mesmerized. A jagged dorsal fin began at the base of the skull and continued for a third the length of its graceful neck which swept up, then down into the serpentine body. And wings! Beautifully graceful wings that arced upward, longing to fly. Two powerful rear legs were poised to spring their owner skyward, while a pair of small forearms ended in prey-grasping claws. A long slender tail was coiled around the base of the statue balancing the neck's forward heft.

My mind was searching countless texts from my research about Daedric Lords?. Dimly remembered pages flashed in front of my eyes -

'Peryite, also known as the Taskmaster, is the Daedric Prince whose sphere is the ordering of the lowest orders of Oblivion. Some accounts also claim his sphere is pestilence. Peryite's statue depicts a dragon, and is ostensibly concerned with ensuring all things are accounted for, neat, tidy and in their right order.'

I didn't understand what any of that meant except one word - dragon. He was beautiful! Although not a student of them, I recalled reading about dragons in the books 'Mysterious Akavir' and the 'King Edward' series. They were an Akaviri race that looked like Peryite and could fly as well as create fire. Although red and black varieties apparently existed, Akatosh himself chose a gold dragon as his physical form. Supposedly they were extinct, but I wasn't sure about that; According to legend, they could shape-shift so how would one know? As I looked at Peyrite, I doubted anything on Nirn could force such a beautiful and powerful race of beings out of existence.

I coaxed my eyes from the dragon. Five followers stood motionless in front of the statue. At first I thought they were simply mesmerized as I was, but after several minutes, they still had not moved.

Superian and I continued across the bridge suspended over the Silverfish River. The followers remained in some sort of trance or frozen state and didn't respond to my questions. With the sun low behind me and stars beginning to appear overhead, I approached the shrine. Even astride Superian, I felt tiny beneath the gaze of the statue. As I touched the cold stone, Peryite's deep voice perfectly matched the powerful dragon it resonated from.

"This one moves! A welcome change. So, mortal, you have found my shrine, and you have seen my followers. They are an embarrassment to me. The fools cast a spell in the hopes of summoning me to them. It was prideful and foolish, and it has had its consequences. My followers are trapped between worlds; their bodies here on this plane, their souls in Oblivion. I would have you reunite the bodies and the souls. I will transport you to the plane of Oblivion in which they are trapped. Find their souls. When all are collected, I will return you here. Return to me when you are prepared."

http://i668.photobucket.com/albums/vv43/Acadian6/Buffy%20I/ScreenShot157.jpg

Turning Superian into the middle of the clearing in front of the shrine, I slid to the ground. I would make camp in the middle of Peryite's silent sentries.

After filling several water bags in the nearby Silverfish River, I dragged a slaughterfish that had interrupted my bath back to the campfire. While eating and checking my equipment, I finally dared think about Peryite's task. Buffy, this is what you asked for, right? I gulped. In the morning, I would be transported to a plane of Oblivion. Into the den of the daedra as it were.

* * *

Waves of dry heat welcomed me to Peryite's Realm. A second later I was reaching for an arrow as a clannfear - straight from my nightmares - charged. My Slayer-propelled arrow jerked the daedra to a stop momentarily as a pair of his twins quickly caught up to him. A burst of illusionary magic flew from my fingertips into the massive shield-like head of clannfear number two. Almost instantly I tossed a sphere of magic into the air which erupted above my head. As the glow descended over me, I disappeared from sight and a skeleton appeared to take my place.

The clannfear under my command and skeleton I had summoned occupied the other two daedra for the moment. I poisoned an arrow and nocked it. As I drew tension, my bow and hands reappeared in front of me. One clannfear survived the melee and immediately turned his attention to me. My arrow stunned the beast and flooded its body with a green tinge. The clannfear shook his armored head and resumed the charge. With a calmness that surprised me, I started stepping back as I released my next arrow. The impact was accompanied by the reassuring sound of Azura's Star doing its job.

I slowly looked around at my surroundings. The pair of magic rings I wore revealed several pink glows within their considerable range - but none close by. Lightning danced across a red and black sky that was filled with ominously shifting clouds. Nonstop rolling thunder provided noisy camouflage for prey and predator alike. Flames erupted irregularly from angry rivers and lakes of red-hot molten liquid. These lava flows were the source of the unrelenting heat that seemed to bake even the rocks.

As I stared, I recalled an image my paladin had shown me as a warning. It was of a pretty Breton woman about my age that had died in just such a moving molten grave. Acadian had later told me her name was Sarrah. Welcome, Buffy, to the plains of Oblivion.

I was nervous yes, but filled with exhilaration as well. This is what I had wanted after all. My nightmares of clannfears always ended with their vicious beaks looming large while I tried to emit a scream that would not come. I would awaken at that point, shuddering at the thoughts of my flesh being torn from me and eaten. I tried to remind myself that my own skills were considerable and of how hard I had worked to improve them. There is a fine line between confidence and terror; as I looked at the three dead nightmares before me, I knew I would find that line here.

Pondering my course, I realized that this land was vast and confusing. There was no sun, moon nor stars to guide me. It didn't matter. I had several full water bags, plenty of food, potions, poisons and over one hundred arrows. I wasn't worried about precise navigation. I knew Acadian could help me locate the missing souls of Peryite's followers, but finding them wasn't my primary purpose here. I intended to hunt every daedra in this realm.

* * *

And hunt I did. Scamps, fire atronachs, young clannfears, even dremora.

http://i668.photobucket.com/albums/vv43/Acadian6/Buffy%20I/ScreenShot173.jpg

http://i668.photobucket.com/albums/vv43/Acadian6/Buffy%20I/ScreenShot166.jpg

Before the end of the first day, the black leather bodysuit had come off. After pouring the sweat out of it, I allowed the armor to quickly dry in the baking heat. I replaced it with my hunters outfit - at least my skin could breathe a bit better.

In the days that followed, I learned the strengths and weaknesses of daedra. Scamps and atronachs threw spells that were easy to dodge. My arrows were much faster than their fireballs. Atronachs were immune to poison, but I had a spell that could fix that. My specialty as a mage, of course, was illusion; these powers could could trick and confuse groups, causing them to reduce their own numbers. Most daedra I dispatched from a stealthy distance. I used magic to calm, command, frighten or immobilize my enemies during the few close encounters I had.

Despite the ever-threatening sky, there was no wind here. Nor were there any trees or overhanging branches. Exploiting these facts, I experimented with a new outdoor archery tactic. I would fire a high angle bow shot that would take several seconds to hit the target. As the first arrow arced gracefully overhead, I would carefully time the release of a second arrow using a flat trajectory. With practice I could cause both arrows to strike the same or different targets simultaneously.

I even learned to camp and sleep in this hostile land that had no day or night. The plants were either dead or dangerous, but I discovered how to safely harvest some of them for poisons. I realized that the limitation to my time here would be my water bags.

As I would free the soul of one of Peryite's followers, I marked a notch on a piece of spiddal stick to keep track. I was relieved to learn that I didn't have to kill them or waste black soul gems to contain their souls; simply touching them would send their spirits back to Peryite.

At one point, I had to travel through an underground cave system, but it was no cooler under this realm than on its surface.

http://i668.photobucket.com/albums/vv43/Acadian6/Buffy%20I/ScreenShot181.jpg

Atop a small tower, I found the only source of refreshment. I drank the small fountain dry.

Even after freeing all five souls of Peryite's followers, I hunted until the beasts of this realm and my water ran low. I was no longer paralyzed with fear at the thought of daedra. Even the clannfears of my nightmares now fell to my newly honed skills and confidence.

Yes, the once timid prey was now the predator, and my work here was finally done.

* * *

With my back to the shimmering opening that would return me to Cyrodiil, I raised Slayer to the lightning filled sky, in both victory and challenge. I then turned and passed through the portal.

Breathing deeply of the deliciously cool air and basking in welcome sunlight, I barely noticed that Peryite's followers were now actively worshipping the dragon statue. I went straight to Superian and gave her a hug. She welcomed me, but snorted with flaring nostrils as she shook her head. I could see why - days of dried sweat, daedra innards and singed reminders of fireballs passing too closely. "Oh my, I guess you're probably right. I'm sure I don't smell very good." I then made my way down the short distance down to the Silverfish River. I paused only long enough to drop my bow, quiver and pack before wading into the cool water. I drank my fill and removed my clothes, tossing them up to the shore. After a long, luxurious swim, I finally climbed out of the river and sat on the banks to dry in the beautiful midday sun.

Whatever trinket Peryite had in mind for returning the souls of his followers would pale in comparison to the lessons this realm had wrought upon me. "Acadian, thanks for leading me to Peyrite and for helping me navigate inside his realm. After we finish here, let's go right back across this river to the Imperial Bridge Inn. I need to sleep in a bed, with real sheets, pillows and every stuff."

Everything, not every stuff, telepathically corrected Acadian.

I jumped to my feet, planted my hands on my hips and with feigned indignance quipped, "and just exactly who appointed you as keeper of my speech? I said every stuff and that's what I meant. You know... maybe a savory meal seated at a real table with some wine, hopefully a nice room that has a thick carpet to curl my toes into. And some clean, soft sheets." I started to stick my tongue out but stopped, realizing I was still quite naked. I quickly started dressing and gathering my things.

The response Acadian projected to me was equally playful. Was it not less than a tenday ago you asked for more communication from me Buffy? Would you now deign to select my subjects?

I opened my mouth to speak, then closed it. I gently smiled. "Fair enough. Yes, I always want your thoughts. You're a part of me; if someone were to put on one of my rings and look at us, they would only see one pink life force - ours."

Acadian silently bantered back, let me say then, I'm quite pleased we're still alive. We've become quite the daedra slayer, no?

"Thank you my paladin. Maybe our nightmares will stop now."

As I scrambled up the hill to report to Peryite, I added with a dreamy smile, "we're getting a real bed tonight Acadian, did you hear me?"

* * *

Author's notes:
1. The vision of Sarrah is, of course, a reference to the character of bobg. It is not my first reference to his work, nor will it be the last.
2. The timing of high and low trajectories to result in simultaneous impacts is a tactic provided by none other than sage D.Foxy.

A rushed note to my friend from a very busy Foxy...

I am - er - slightly embarassed. Actually that is an artillery tactic invented, I think, by the US Army, your brother service.

I don't know about the others, but for me the searing hells of oblivion have a terrible and strange beauty all on their own. I wandered there for days when I was playing the game.

Arcadian: I will reply to your PM. It's just that things are pretty hectic on the workfront with me these days.

Awesome chapter Acadian! I take it we will see Buffy doing Kvatch in the near future!

Acadian:

(EDIT: Another long post. Sorry.)

Very nice. I spent part of last night and this morning reading parts II and III of Buffy. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I what found was a story that I really enjoyed. From the OP, I thought you were merely writing about your gameplay, like a diary, but you've turned this into a full, complete story. I'll try to read through the original thread later this afternoon. Now is time for coffee!

Here are some things that I think you've done very well:

(1) I like how you turned the Siege of Kvatch into something that effects all of Cyrodill. I also like how the how other cities react to Kvatch's misfortune. Very realistic.

(2) I like how you use magic in your story. It comes across as real and natural part of life. Very nice.

(3) I like this line: "A second later I was reaching for an arrow as a clannfear - straight from my nightmares - charged." Simple, efficient, and shows Buffy's sense of horror in four words. Nice.

(4) You've done a nice job of incorporating silly game elements (Malzog, for example) into your story in a realistic way. At no point did I think I was reading "about" a game.

(5) I like your transitions and how you reveal the passage of time. Very subtle, graceful even.

Buffy, and her paladin sidekick Acadian, may be the my favorite characters on this forum. I will read the rest of this today sometime, but next week, I have two papers due, a final, and my short story collection for school, so I may not be around much.

Buffy the Daedra Slayer!

Well done. Your action scenes are very, well, action-packed. I could feel Buffy's heart thumping with fear and excitement as she stared down her arrow at those clannfears.

What I thought was especially well done was the pacing however. You keep each scene in the chapter very tight, revealing to us what we need to know, and not wasting words with things that do not directly effect Buffy or the plot. You asked about the middle section lacking in showing and being heavy in telling. I think you did the right thing here, because as you rightly said, going into a detailed description of how Buffy killed 30 daedra would be redundant, and just bore the reader after the 10th or so. You showed us how she faced the first ones, the clannfears, who are also the stuff of nightmares, and that worked best. In one fell swoop you showed us how Buffy would deal with the daedra, and at the same time dealt with her own personal issues (which of course is what led her here in the first place). I did essentially the same thing with the Fort Magia chapter of Teresa for the same reason, showing only the fight with the ghost because it was the most important one, plot-wise and character-wise.

To answer your other question about post lengths, I think this was fine. It did not seem as long as you mentioned it is. I think that is because you broke it up into four distinct scenes, which makes it easier to digest as you can do it in smaller bites rather than one huge gulp. Also as I said above, you kept the pacing tight, so once you started reading you did not notice the amount of words going by.

As far as what to do with future posts, I am not sure. I think it depends on the chapter. I think the Fort Magia chapter I posted daunted many people with a wall of text, and caused them not to read it. Just a feeling I have.


A few lines really stand out. This one sentence tells us everything we need to know about Buffy's motivation:



however, the word "As" should not be capitalized, the first word after a semi-colon should remain lowercase.


For much the same reason, this line stands out, only this one reveals to us the where Buffy found that line:




Was this line I see a bit of foreshadowing?





Now a few grammar nits:



you have the wrong tense here for "dried", you want "dry"




Same thing here with "weakness", it should be "weaknesses"

To answer your questions first:

Post length- I go with my paraphrase of Abraham Lincoln's answer to his son- "A post should be long enough to reach its end." As I am rather known (ok- notorious) for cliffhanger endings, I actually appreciate posts that reach a logical stopping place. And where that place may be is best decided by the author. In this specific case, I agree with SubRosa- I did not find the length excessive or daunting- the writing moved in such a way that I did not notice the length.

Question 2- Again, I thought your method worked perfectly- it did not "clunk" (or clank, clang, or clink) as I read it. That "clunk-o-meter" is the surest instrument I know for whether writing is working or not.

This entire post is a tour de force of Acadian the Writer and Buffy the Hunter. Description, narrative flow, interior dialogue- everything is just about perfect.



A concise summary of Buffy's determination and strength.

One minor note:

I believe it is "Peryite," as you spell it the first time. Peyrite is more friendly to the ear- but then Daedra princes are known for being (spotted owls) generally.

Acadian, have you been shoe shopping? (Pay-Rite Shoes) - Just Kidding!


@ Acadian - I think you have nailed the last two chapters in a profound way; I believe we have Koala1 to thank for that!!!

Acadian. Reading these threads has re-inspired me to write. Maybe I'll do one on my char at some point.

Buffy the daedra slayer. Yippee.
See, it wasn't so bad. Just vary your tactics to suit and there you go.
Well done Buff. :woot:

With your 'writing' my sentiments must follow SubRosa and Mr Treydog.
question 1 -
It is never the length of a post that makes it an easy / hard read. It is the talent within.
This chapter was better to read in one hit.

question 2 -
I would suggest that you repeat the style anytime that the chapter necessitates it.
It would never make sense to drag a reader through 20 battles that are all exactly the same.

The purpose of this chapter was to show Buffy's growing confidence and to set up the battle of Kvatch. The daedra quest was secondary.
So, the focus must be to summarize the events with the daedra hunting.

I agree with treydog and Winter Wolf. In my opinion there's nothing wrong with more Buffy from time to time! :celebrate:

As for the 'summarized' portion of the chapter, I thought that it was expertly handled. The relevant information had little to do with the extra days Buffy spent in Peryite's realm.

I thought it a well-balanced chapter with a sensible conclusion of the character(s). :goodjob: I am glad I'm no critic or I'd be out of a job
I wonder if my installments aren't too short now

I've never posted on the fanfic forum before, but I've been lurking here since reading an excerpt of Buffy the Bowgirl over in Cheats and Spoilers a couple of months ago.

Yes, I've read all of Buffy the Bowgirl. And yes, I find the writing has become better, tighter, and more compelling with each chapter. Not only have you had a lot of help from your fellow writers, Acadian, you've been more than smart enough to listen to them and take their advice.

You've inspired me to take up my own fan fic again, and I've progressed further on it in the past couple of weeks than I have in the past year. I'm enjoying replaying the game with my favorite character.

To answer your questions, I know from my own writing, it's better to let the flow of the story dictate the length of the chapters. Often I find myself with a short chapter, or an extra long one, but the flow of the story is so natural, that I just can't alter the length to fit some artificial standard.

As some of others have said, it is better to show at times, other times it is just better to tell. I'm not going to describe every single Oblivion Gate I've closed, every Bandit battle I've engaged in, every book I've read, etc. It would be boring for me to read it, let alone write it.

Keep it up, Acadian. I'm enjoying Dame Buffy the Bowgirl much too much! And like a fellow poster, I'm tapping, tapping, tapping my foot for the next installment!

I could go on and on about this chapter, but your the writer here not me. So instead let me simply say that this is "THE" best chapter to date. You posed a couple questions for your readers at the beginning of this chapter and I would like to reply. As for the first question I don't think this chapter was to long, and I agree that breaking it up would seem a bit off. As far as future chapters go I think you should just go with your gut if you think the chapter needs to be split then do it, but if not I don't think any of your readers would frown upon the extra length. Now the second question has a much simpler answer "Yes!", your choices with your craft are sound which is one of the reasons your story is so well received. Just keep doing what you're doing and know we all support you.

~Digz~

It sounded good to me. I can follow plots pretty well, but using posh words is beyond me. That, plus being a blonde will probably always disqualify me as a writer (although it makes me like Buffy). :hehe: I like the screenshots too. They really help. Buffy has complained about being skinny, but she looks quite the bonzer sheila here: http://i668.photobucket.com/albums/vv43/Acadian6/ScreenShot173.jpg


I thought alot about this and decided it's pretty clever. The last sentence made me question a sixual overtone. So I read the rest of the quote again, and recalled what I know about Buffy and Acadian. They really are physically one person, not like a couple. Therefore there can't really be a sixual overtone I guess? Finally, I decided you may have put the last sentence in there just to make me think it through.

I can explain that one; Buffy has a bedroll that she sleeps on all the time, just like my character does in my story. They are thin and flat, and don't feel comfortable at all. Whenever my character gets to sleep in a real bed, with a thick mattress and pillows she always makes a fuss over how comfortable it feels, that is what Buffy is talking about. Have you gotten to play the game yet? I hope you do, I think you will like it.


I saw that screenshot too, and thought the same thing, you just put it so much nicer than I could have., lol.

Some comments on chapter 46, followed by chapter 47-

@ All- I had asked for input on the summarizing I did in the middle segment of chapter 46 as well as chapter length. Thank you so much to all who responded. :wub: It seems I was on the right track - your encouragement and support has made me feel so much more comfortable with that. I shall remember the input going forward. I would also like to thank those who took the time to point out a small handful of items I missed in my latter edits. Thanks to your keen eyes, I was able to edit those corrections into the chapter. As most of you know, I am not shy about pointing out editorial nits - I consider it a compliment when one takes the time and effort to do so. Similarly, I surely appreciate those who complimented me by taking the time and effort to point out my oversights in this chapter. I have taken steps to try and improve my editing - thank you again for the help.

@Foxy- Forgive me, I did not mean to imply you invented the idea. You shared with me the Army artillery concept of high + low trajectory for a simultaneous impact, and that the idea might be of interest to Buffy. Indeed it was.

@mALX- I think Buffy is being drawn more and more directly towards Kvatch. Thank you so much again for your nonstop incredible support and encouragement. As I have said before, we dragged each other over here to fanfic and remain each other's biggest fans. :wave:

@GothGirlDanielle- Wow! Thank you so much for not only reading, but the detailed insights as well! I so appreciate that type of feedback as it allows me to evaluate how close we are to target and adjust or continue as indicated. Yes, Buffy's stories are still pretty much her report of the game; what has changed is that I can understand her insights and perspectives so much better. She sees and perceives things I never could, and that cannot but help to change the game some. Good luck with the school stuff!

@SubRosa- Thank you! Daedra Slayer! You really have become quite a mentor to me. I value your feedback and insights so much. You always seem to hone right in on what is important. When you quote a line, it is indeed an important one. When you grace me with advice, it is always spot on. I was certainly speaking to you in my comments above to 'All'. Foreshadowing? If I understand you, I think Koala asked a similar question below.
You may notice, I took on board some of your ideas regarding capitalizing some things such as Daedra - reflected in the next chapter. I wasn't kidding about your advice of course? You are the reason Buffy claims the title Dame and changed the name of the White Stallion Lodge.

@treydog- Again, let me say how wonderful it is to have you back with us. Thank you so much for the responses to my questions. As you know, someday when I grow up, I want to be able to write with some of delicate magic that you do. Your feedback always helps me to muddle one step closer.

@MorrowindFTW- That my thread has perhaps helped to inspire you is humbling indeed! I encourage you to write and post.

@Wolf- Thanks for the answers! They really help. Buffy loves your encouragement to her! :hugs: Especially after that last chapter. She is now at a high point - more confidently lethal than she has ever been. She will need it.

@Destri- Thank you for your helpful answers. I really value the input of one who can write as well as you do my friend!

@RemkoNL- I so appreciate you reading! I only hope Buffy can give you some of the joy I get from Rales. :dance: Speaking of which, the wonderfully brisk, short, frequent chapters you use are your trademark. Please don't change a thing!

@hauteecole- Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to give me such elegant feedback! I appreciate your insights on the questions I asked. If Buffy and I somehow had a hand in helping you retake up the quill, we are deeply honored.

@Digz- Thanks for the answers. Digz says it's THE best chapter! WooHoo! :twirl: Buffy and I have come to rely very much on your insights, support and encouragement. If Digz likes it, then we are truly happy! Thank you so much my friend.

@Koala- Well done! You pretty much got it. Although Buffy would not recognize the terms, her relationship to Acadian is that of a mutually obligate symbiant host. Whether they could exist apart is not clear - yet.



47 The Heart of the Matter

I waited in my chair, afraid to breathe as I looked across the desk at Headmaster Raminus Polus. I had no idea what his response would be to my plea for assistance.

The Imperial had listened intently as I spoke of the flaming Oblivion Gate. I described the Daedra that endlessly poured forth, only to be stopped by the brave efforts of Kvatch's small force of defenders. Raminus was now leaning back in his chair. Behind the steepled fingers, hazel eyes gazed thoughtfully at the ceiling of his office. The simple guild-issue blue robe draping his shoulders spoke of his humility, while belying the considerable authority he wielded.

Nervously, I picked imaginary lint from the sleeve of my burgundy blouse as I waited. The Headmaster's office was really just an alcove on the second floor of the Mystic Archives. At least I was comfortable amongst the text-filled shelves that lined the walls.

Raminus interrupted the silence. "Buffy, have you asked the Elder Council for help?"

"No, Master Wizard. They have ignored the requests of Captain Matius. Do you think they would listen, or even grant audience to a young she-elf from Bravil?"

I'm sure Raminus saw the pleading exasperation in my eyes, because his emotionless face creased into a gentle smile. "Well, I prefer to think of you as a promising young Apprentice of the Mages Guild, but your point is taken." He placed his hands on the desk. "It is true that Imperial Battlemages answer to the Council of Mages, much the same way that city guards report to local county lords?." The middle aged Imperial ran a hand through his black hair that was laced with streaks of gray; no doubt caused by the requests and antics of Apprentices such as myself. He then continued, "but I won't have battlemages used as fodder. This Captain Matius, could he put any assistance we provide to effective use? Does he know what he's doing up there?

"Know what he's doing?" Bristling, as I repeated the Headmaster's words, I started to aggressively come forward in my chair. I then stopped and took a deep breath. Compose yourself Buffy. You can better defend Savlian without anger. I forced myself to settle back in the chair and unclench my jaw. Weeks of playing court games in Leyawiin had improved my discretion when it came to choosing words and controlling impulses. "How many Daedra from that gate have made it past Captain Matius to threaten the rest of Cyrodiil? I think the answer to that is proof he knows what he's doing. Consider how long he's been holding that line. Does that not speak sufficiently to his leadership and ability to effectively use limited resources? Savlian Matius has the soul of a soldier and the heart of a lion; he simply needs more help, Master Wizard."

Raminus slowly nodded his head, seemingly satisfied by my words. "And what is your role in this?"

"I'm going to close that gate." The words just popped out of my mouth before I could stop them. They were true enough, but I had never dared utter them before. "Savlian needs assistance to hold that gate until it's closed, then he will need that same help to retake Kvatch from the Daedra that siege it from within.

The smile from Raminus was one that a parent might offer when indulging an ignorant child. "Buffy, do you know anything about closing an Oblivion Gate? Do you have any idea of the power wielded by Daedric Princes?"

I could see I would have to work for this. Thankful for having read most of the books behind me, I sighed and began my lecture. "A portal to an Oblivion Plane is maintained by the power of a Sigil Stone - a purified morpholith that has been inscribed by a Daedra Lord. Destroying the stone closes the portal." I reached into my pack which was on the floor next to my chair.

The words 'Sigil Stone' had their intended effect. Raminus dropped the indulgent smile and his eyes were opened wide. "You have clearly done more research than I gave you credit f-"

The Imperial stopped in mid sentence as my hand came out of my pack displaying Azura's Star. I placed the artifact on the desk in front of him. Returning to my pack three more times, I added Meridia's Ring of Khajiiti, Nocturnal's Skeleton Key and Peryite's Spell Breaker to the top of his desk. "I possess several more such Daedric trinkets that are too large or bulky to carry with me. In answer to your question Master Wizard, I know quite a bit about Daedra Lords and their power. As you can see, my research goes a bit beyond academic study."

Raminus' mouth had opened when he saw Azura's Star, his jaw dropping lower with each object I had placed before him. Finally he closed his mouth and reached behind him. Retrieving a book, he began leafing through it, alternatively glancing at its pages and the items on his desk. I could see the familiar title of the book, 'Tamrielic Lore.' After emitting a scholarly 'hmm' and 'ahah' several times he gestured to the items and looked at me questioningly. "May I?"

"Of course," I nodded with a smile. I had certainly struck some sort of chord. I hoped that was a good sign.

After carefully examining each item and consulting the book several more times, Raminus announced, "yes. The texts are correct! These are just as described. From what I know of these Daedric Princes, I see Boderi Farano has not overstated the talents of her young Apprentice. Now, if you intend to close an Oblivion Gate, you realize you will have to fight Daedra?"

Again reaching into my pack, I produced several more items and added them to the growing collection on Raminus' desk - a portion of scamp skin, the claws of a clannfear and a small container of fire salts. "I have used and discarded more of these than I can recall, Master Wizard." Finally, I added a package slightly larger than a man's fist wrapped in waterproofed cloth.

Raminus chuckled, "That pack of yours is just full of surprises. So are you, it seems." Focusing on the cloth package, he placed it in front of him and unwrapped it. His eyes opened wide as he involuntarily leaned back from the object and released his breath in a quiet whistle. "A heart?"

"Dremora," I quietly added.

Raminus grabbed a quill and poked at the object, carefully examining without allowing his fingers to touch it. His interest in the bloody organ seemed so academic. He still didn't get how serious I was, or the life and death nature of the struggle at Kvatch. I bit my lower lip and contemplated my next move. I was out of helpful things in my pack to plop on his desk to further convince him, but? I did have one more arrow in my quiver of tools to persuade Raminus. This 'arrow' was a verbal one. Once spoken however, Raminus' perception of me would likely change forever. I nocked the shock-enchanted words to my tongue and loosed them.

"The Daedra I encountered on Peryite's plane included two Dremora. I cut both their hearts out." Pointing at the dark red object on the desk, I continued, "This is one of them; I ate the other."

My verbal arrow found its target. The impact caused Raminus to drop his quill and stare at me in disbelief. "Wha- why? By the Nines!"

"Headmaster, you are a lethal wizard and skilled at fighting with magic. But have you ever stalked a deer, boar or lion? Have you ever hunted?"

"No. No I haven't," said Raminus. His eyes remained fixed upon the Dremora heart sitting before him.

"I learned to hunt before I was ten. The master archer who taught me also showed me the old Bosmer ways of the hunter. By eating the heart of your prey, you gain some of its power. I don't ask that you understand the mindset of a predator; simply that you take me seriously. I know there will be Daedra blocking my path. They will not stop me."

Raminus silently rewrapped the heart and pushed it towards me. After a moment, he spoke solemnly, "As Akatosh is my witness, I do believe you may indeed be the one to close that gate Buffy. I will support your effort. My voice, as University Headmaster however, is but one on the Council of Mages. Can you help me convince Arch Mage Traven and the rest of the Council?"

My pulse quickened. "Of course Master Wizard. What can I do to improve the outcome?"

"Buffy, there is a matter that is causing the Council of Mages quite some concern. I fear it may involve danger, but-" he made a sweeping gesture at the items on his desk, "likely far less than that involved in garnering this? ah, collection."

Was this a trick? Did Raminus mean what he said, or was he simply using my desperation as a means to get some task accomplished. I didn't really have many options, other than to cooperate. I studied the face across the desk. Raminus had always been kind, wise and supportive of my ways. I saw those same things in his eyes now, despite the intentional shock effect of some of my words. I liked and trusted this man. "I will proudly serve my Guild and University in any manner you wish, Master Wizard."

A warm smile rewarded my compliant trust. "Buffy, we never asked you to complete the traditional pilgrimage that students go through to retrieve wood for their mage's staff." Raminus glanced at the bow called Slayer, now leaning against the wall of his office. "Boderi and I felt the stave of your bow was all you needed in this regard. The wood for a mage's staff comes from a hidden grove tended by two of our mages, Zahrasha and Eletta." Raminus' eyes narrowed with concern. "Over a week ago, I sent our newest student to retrieve the wood for his staff. He has not returned. Of equal concern, neither Zahrasha nor Eletta have reported to the University for their weekly supply of provisions."

Master Wizard Raminus Polus, Headmaster of the Arcane University, leaned forward and locked his eyes onto mine. "Wellspring cave, east of the city, is the secret entrance to the grove." With that, he stood, ending our meeting. "I have a new class of mages to welcome." He gathered some texts and headed for the door. "Be careful Buffy."

After retrieving my things from Raminus' desk, I grabbed Slayer and my quiver. As I stepped out of the office into the main upstairs portion of the Mystic Archives, I saw Boderi Farano waiting for me.

http://i668.photobucket.com/albums/vv43/Acadian6/Buffy%20I/ScreenShot199.jpg

"Well?" inquired the Dunmer battlemage. She motioned to a nearby bench and we both sat.

I picked up an apple and, between bites, told my University Advisor and friend all about the meeting with Raminus.

After listening intently until I finished, Boderi smiled thoughtfully. "The Imperial City wasn't built in a day. Stone by stone you are building your path. I am delighted to see you mastering patience and carefully using words to achieve your purpose." A playful sparkle illuminated her beautiful red eyes. "Now Buffy, did you really eat the heart of a Dremora, or was that just a masterful stroke of calculating your words for a desired effect?"

I set down the apple, cocked my head at Boderi and smiled sweetly. "Would I do that?"

YEAH!!!! Go Buffy!

I will keep it short because I have to get back to work.

Fantastic. Your writing continues to improve with every post. The last post you showed us your skill at action. This one you do the same for tense drama. What stands out most to me is this example of the adamantine firmness of Buffy's resolve, and her confidence in her own abilities:


As direct as an arrow shot, it says everything.

I also very much liked your mention of eating the heart. It hearkens me back to so many of the Norse Sagas where the hero does exactly that. I seem to recall one where this little skinny guy ate the heart of an enemy and suddenly he turned into this buff hero because of it.

Buffy has learned the lessons of political maneuvering quite well; she is also becoming quite adept at "reading" people.

I could just see her pulling one artifact after another from her pack as Raminus tried to maintain a wizardly detachment!

"

I found myself suppressing the urge to grab my axe and head for Kvatch as I read that endorsemant. You so beautifully capture the fire of Buffy's determination and her icy resolve, all contained in one (skinny, blonde) wood elf. The writing throughout this installment was "show," so much so that I felt as if I was there.

Great write Acadian! The line Treydog caught was my fave as well - what a great line!

This chapter had magic sprinkled on it from start to finish. Simply amazing.


And what an arrow that was !!
His face expression must have been priceless.


A fantastic line that hooks the reader into the moment. Time stands still as we await the outcome of the conversation.

Tell Buffy to put her ear to the IC pavement. You can hear the sound of clapping from Bravil.
:foodndrink:

This scene is textbook. Two people seated across from each other at a desk, talking. Yet it had more action and drama than most battle scenes. It would have been easy for Buffy to rely on a recitation of the facts that she had learned in her research of Oblivion, but she reached into her pack and showed him (and us) her experience. The crowning achievement was the daedra heart, which suddenly made the chapter's title click. Just great all the way around, Acadian!

I liked how this tied alot of her previous stories and adventures in.

This is so me! I never know what I'm going to find in the bottom of my handbag.


Way to go Buffy! Just keep smiling. A girl shouldn't reveal all her secrets after all.

I am slowly but surely catching up on Buffy's tale, Acadian. I had been thinking for a while "just go to Peryite's shrine" if you want some gate experience, noob! Seriously, the story continues apace. And sometimes just "telling" has it's place in writing, so don't worry about that, it's fair to mix it up. It has to feel natural to you, but it all read smoothly.