What a nice chapter. :goodjob:

dichotomy = duality?

That was another brilliant chapter, Acadian. I could feel the sense of awkwardness between the two, but also the emotion and sadness -- this is down to excellent dialogue, which is something a lot of people struggle with... well done!

Plus, I liked how you made the conversation flow throughout from topic to topic -- and how you linked it to the Forlorn Watchmen was excellent.

The only problem I have is that you're a little inconsistent with one thing: commas before names in dialogue. It seems that sometimes you will write, "How are you, Buffy?" and other times, "How are you Buffy?" without the comma. It's not a big deal, but I don't understand why the comma isn't there all the time.

But yeah, overall, that was wonderfully crafted. I eagerly await the next instalment.

I loved the way you described Alawen's camp, how she keeps her food and supplies in the trees, out of reach of bears and goblins. That is a true outdoorsperson!

And finally, the Forlorn Watchman! That quest always makes me so sad, wondering why this spirit hasn't found peace, and why he doesn't attack like most ghosts and wraiths do.

And I see you managed to introduce some beloved folks from Anvil, as well, in Alawen's reference to a couple of friends of hers. Precious!

This was a pleasant interlude with a fellow woodsgirl. I like how you portrayed the different sides of her nature. On hand a confident forester and the other an awkward woman. Especially touching was the way you wove Sarrah and Angel into her story.

It seems that the characters of many other Fs are making their way to the BF. Now I am wondering who else might be appearing in the Tourney? Athlain? Rales? Julian?

Alawen keeping her food in the tree was an excellent touch of realism. Many people do not realize that predators like wolves and bears tend to come by in the middle of the night after smelling it. Having it at your side is a bad idea when they are looking for a midnight snack!


This gave me a good chuckle:
For one so young, you have the eyes of a trained marksman.
I always love it when someone can weave in a piece of dialogue from the game in a way that flows naturally from the conversation! It is a wonderful little homage to the game which inspired us all to write fan fic in the first place.




Yes indeed, a division of two opposites that are present in a single whole.

Acadian, this has to be the best chapter yet !!! You ROCKED it !!!!! Buffy's inner dialogue and reactions - spot on! - And that food in the tree is used here all the time to keep the Black Bears out of your stuff - if you lock the food in your car they will literally break into it and get it out, so the tree is used. It gives you time to run to your car and get the H out of Dodge while the bear is up there chowing down, lol.

That was awesome. It is so good to read a story which has believable characters which leap out of the screen.
The way you crafted the multi-sides to Alawen's personality was oh so good.

Thumbs up for the mention of Sarrah and Angel. I have been itching for a Buffy / Angel meeting for sooooo long now.

**DFOXY taps his feet and folds his arms and glances significantly at his watch.**

No kidding. Hello??? Drain marksmanship scroll on the loose.... :stare:

Nice work as usual Acadian - you seem to be enjoying the Bravil scenery, the tournament and surrounding activity as much as your character.

You have managed to give Alawen three dimensions. I really love what you have done with her in this chapter. Her poignant recollections about her mother and about Sarrah and Angel (who I am really getting to know in bobg's thread) are just heartwrenching. Now I can't wait for her to shoot!



I am with Foxy and Leydenne!

The last two chapters were great fun to read. In the first one I couldn't help but to notice the quality of detail in the horse's interactions. Very well done! I is also nice to hear from an old friend and to receive a gift none the less. It made for a fun chapter. Hanging out around the campfire and connecting with a new person just sounds like so much fun. Not to mention finding out this new person is alot like yourself! I mean that just adds to the fun. Great work with both chapters my friend. Sorry about the delayed response school has kept me fairly busy this week and limited my free time. As always I look forward to more of this tale, and more of your story telling prowess.

~Digz~

Beautiful additions to the Buffy canon- equestrienne pursuits, budding friendship with someone who needs Buffy's insight into social interactions (!), and the continuing mystery.

I actually do not mind the mystery being extended, because it allows us to see these grand moments of conversation and vivid description.

I read the new chapter when it was published but was distracted from commenting, then forgot. Good thing these chapters are worth going back and reading again.

I can only reiterate what everyone else is saying. The expansion of Alawen's personality was charming. The details of camp life very immersive and the mention of Sarrah brought a moment sadness tempered by the added mention of Angel. However, unlike some, I am in no rush to see the mystery resolved. The build-up is an exquisite torture.

Nice quiet morning tea and talk. I liked learning more about Alawen. You did a good job alternating between confidence and awkwardness on the parts of both ladies. A ghost!

In chapter 64, Buffy and Alawen shared morning tea on the second day of tournament qualifications. The two elves learned more about each other while sitting around the fire at Bawnwatch camp. It seems Alawen saw a ghostly spirit the previous night. Buffy suggested they investigate.

Remko- Thanks! I see SubRosa helped with your dichotomy question.

Chriso123- "Thank you very much for the dialogue compliments, Chriso," I said with appreciation. Turning to the elf, I added, "our friend is right. Help me to be more consistent using commas and names, Buffy."

hauteecole rider- Thanks for the camp support! There is no way I could talk Buffy out of helping Alawen with the Forlorn Watchman. I'm so pleased you fall into the camp of 'sometimes stories must be told at their own pace'. Thank you.

SubRosa- Thank you for your encouraging words on my development of the somewhat complex Alawen. As far as how many 'F's' are ultimately involved in the tournament storyline, the answer is five. :mohawk: As always, I appreciate your rich and detailed assessments - very helpful.

mALX- WooHoo! Thank you for the super nice words mALX! :twirl: I'm so glad Buffy's internals and reactions seemed real. Also that you liked the couple of 'camp' touches.

Wolf- To earn your endorsemant on my in-progress development of Alawen makes me feel wonderful. I am lavishing some time with her because Alawen will be an important and permanent fixture in Buffy's world, like Mazoga.

Foxy- Oh my friend! I am so sorry Buffy is not moving fast enough! She promises that the scroll shall become her top priority as soon as the sun sets on this very day in Cyrodiil.

Leydenne- *Acadian ducks for cover as he refers his favorite mod up to the comments to Foxy* There is a bittersweetness to Buffy's visit to Bravil. She fully believes she will not be back before attempting to resolve Kvatch.

Destri- Thank you for the compliments regarding the development of Alawen. You well know she is no slouch with her bow. *Ducks again and points to the comments to Foxy.*

Digz- As always, thank you so much for your assessment of the last two chapters. Your steadfast support is priceless, and I hope the school work is going well.

treydog- Since your own thread is the epitome of what I would hope to accomplish, you kind words carry much weight. Thank you for not rushing Buffy - her 'break' in Bravil is tugging her in many directions at once.

bobg- I have learned to listen to inner voices. I could not ignore that the wild elf who lives near Anvil, who never completely grew up, who calms animals, would of course, have been friends with the Dinsteel sisters. Thank you for supporting our more leisurely approach to the Bravil/tournament storyline.

Koala- I'm so glad you enjoyed the quiet but illuminating conversation between the two wood elves.



65 Bravil - The Tournament of Archers, Part 9


Alawen signaled a stop along the bank of the Niben, well south of Bawnwatch Camp. "I followed the spirit here last night."

As Superian pulled alongside the ranger's white horse, I scanned for life signs around nearby Fort Irony. Seeing no pink glows, I removed my rings to better read the ranger's face.

"This is where he stopped and talked to me. He told me his name was Grantham Blakely, and said something about being stuck in the mouth of a panther? He bore no wounds from tooth or claw, and certainly there was no big cat in the area." Alawen frowned. "See why I thought I was crazy?"

With one hand on my thigh, I leaned against the pommel of Superian's saddle with the other, and looked at Alawen. "Can you think of anything else? What did he do after he talked to you?"

"Well, he turned and struck a pose, pointing across the river just like the lookouts stationed at the bows of ships that come into Anvil Harbor. In fact, now that I think about it, his manner and dress were quite similar to sailors I see on the docks when I visit Lelles' general store. Buffy, does any of that make sense?"

My eyes were drawn towards the far shore and I absently mused, "maybe he wasn't referring to a big cat at all. Directly across from us, the Panther River flows into the Niben - the mouth of the panther?" Scratching my head, I continued, "there's nothing over there except a bunch of old-" my eyes flew open wide at the flash of realization- "shipwrecks!"

"A sailor and his ship!" we both exclaimed together.

"Yes!" Alawen continued excitedly, "he was a sailor and his spirit must be trapped on a ship over there and I am not crazy!"

I smiled, at the brief reappearance of her girlish manner. "So now what, Ranger?"

"Buffy, I know this is not my jurisdiction, but that sailor asked for my assistance and he shall have it. I am indebted to you for helping to make sense of this. May a gentle breeze and the kiss of sunshine accompany you and Superian as you journey back to Bravil."

I did indeed have things to do in town. Potions needed to be converted into gold so I could pay Nilawen for my journal. I hoped to watch a few more archers shoot on this second day of tournament qualification. The drain marksman scroll that Ungarion sold to some mysterious buyer still weighed heavily on my mind.

I looked at the wide Niben, knowing there were no nearby fords or bridges. The sun, still on the east side of the river, told me it was barely mid morning. I figured there was nothing I could learn about the scroll until after dark, and the other stuff would just have to wait.

"Alawen, I'm no ranger, but I'm a pretty good scout and I know this area well. Since I feel responsible for getting you into this, will you accept my assistance?"

"I would welcome your help," she held up one hand as if to cut off any premature reply, and added firmly, "as long as you understand I am in charge."

Alawen's words triggered a memory.

I rubbed my bruised ribs. "And if that maneuver inside the gate was your idea of a hug, I can do without that too." Then I dropped my smile and looked him in the eyes. "Savlian, I promise I will work with you. I understand you are in charge here."

Smiling, I replied to Alawen, "I understand 'in charge'."

"I welcome your skills and local knowledge then. Do you know a way across the river? I fear by the time our horses could swim it, we might be quite some ways downstream."

"Do you know how to walk upon water?" I asked.

"The properties of nature's bounty are well-familiar to me. I carry potions made from Tiger Lily and graqes that allow water walking. Do you suggest leaving the horses here then?"

"No," I replied, "I can cast spells that will allow them to come with us."

Alawen looked skeptical. "I remember how disorienting it was for me when I first stepped upon the water." A youthful smile then came to her face. "Before long though, Sarrah, Angel and I were standing atop the waves of the Abacean, riding them into shore, screeching and laughing. . . ." The child and her smile both gradually faded before Alawen continued, "I hesitate to ask a horse to deal with that sensation."

"Superian has learned to accept it, through gentle encouragement. I've seen your way with animals, Alawen, and I'm sure your horse trusts you." I dropped to the ground and Superian followed me to the water's edge. "Let me help you teach her."

Alawen dismounted and led her horse to me.

"What's your mare's name?" I asked.

"Charger," replied Alawen.

I moved close enough to the mare that she could inspect me. My spell would eventually require the laying of both hands upon her. Seeming to pass muster, as Charger nosed me, I gently rubbed her neck. I noted numerous scars on the white mare, similar to those found on many of the Imperial Legion Bays. "She's an old warhorse I see."

"She belonged to my friend. Although originally a mage, Sarrah later pursued the path of steel, accompanied by this fine animal." Alawen's eyes moistened as she continued, "after - well, after Sarrah died, her sister Angel brought the mare to me, asking that I care for her." The ranger blinked several times and sighed, "now, Charger patrols the Gold Coast with me."

Once Charger seemed comfortable with me, I cast my spell upon both mares and we began the training. Encouraged by Superian's example and Alawen's gentle urging, Charger was soon willing to venture upon the surface of the river. Satisfied, I coaxed everyone back ashore.

"I knew she could do it, Alawen, especially with your touch," I beamed. "I'll need a few moments before I can cast again. When I do though, let's quickly mount and start across the river." I drank a potion to speed the restoration of magical energy and help support another double casting of the massive alteration spell.

Before the morning sun could climb noticeably higher, we were quickly crossing atop the wide expanse of water.

http://i668.photobucket.com/albums/vv43/Acadian6/Buffy%20I/ScreenShot258.jpg

Where the Panther joined the Niben, we found only one wreck still intact enough to resemble a ship. The stern plate said Emma May, and a gaping hole in her starboard side helped explain how she came to be nestled in the rocks along the shore.

"Have you been on a ship before?" asked Alawen.

"No." I stabbed dubiously at the rotting wood with the toe of my boot. "You?"

"Yes, my duties have required the occasional search or clearing of ships in the Port of Anvil. She will be dark inside, but hopefully there are enough holes in her old bulkheads to be able to see. Looks abandoned for sure - there should be no reason to fight, but we need to be ready just in case. As soon as we slip inside, we will stop to assess what we are dealing with. Ready?" Alawen lifted the bow from her back. The stave was of sturdy yew wood with silver adornments at the handgrip and ears.

In response, a soft red glow briefly adorned Slayer, as the fully charged bow sought my hand.

We both slipped through the opening in the hull and lowered ourselves to the interior main deck. Before our eyes could fully adjust from bright sunshine to dim shadows, I heard a sound, that could not have come from man, mer nor beast.

My blood ran cold as I wheeled towards the wailing screech. Less than three paces away was a wraith, its ethereal arms raised in challenge.

If alone, this would have been a really good time to disappear and run. With Mazoga, I would have jumped behind the armor-clad Orc, then supported her from a position of safety with bow and spell. Alawen wasn't Mazoga though. I desperately wanted the wraith away from us. Thoroughly flustered, I released a demoralize spell, cursing myself at the futility, even as the magicka left my fingertips.

The undead apparition, of course, ignored the effect. I could see a globe of energy growing between his ghostly fingers, as my own hand began to form a glow that could turn the undead. The wraith was faster, and my spell fizzled as an icy blast of magic slammed into me, forcing the air from my chest.

A reassuring twang from behind me announced an arrow that interrupted the spirit's next attack.

After failing another frantic attempt to cast my spell, I realized the wraith had cursed my magic. The spirit was upon me now and raised a glowing hand. Once again, the snap of Alawen's bowstring heralded an arrow that that caused a momentary pause. I was able to raise my bow, only to have it nearly knocked from my hand as the spirit swept it aside. His other hand struck my shoulder with a frigid blow of such jarring force, I was knocked from my feet.

On my back now, I brought up my knees and bow defensively as I prayed for Alawen to shoot faster. Another arrow only slightly delayed the icy hand that raked freezing tracks across the front of me and dislodged the bow from my chilled fingers. Alawen's next two arrows allowed only one more such numbingly cold strike before the wraith looming over me, with a final wail, transformed into a rain of green slime.

The ranger was instantly kneeling beside me. "Buffy, can you hear me? Talk to me!"

I was still on my back with knees and arms drawn up in front of me, shivering uncontrollably. "C- c- cold."

A potion appeared against my lips. Alawen helped me to drink the soothing liquid, much of it running down my chin and joining the ectoplasm that covered me. The shivering eased a bit.

Terrified of another attack, I was able to raise my head enough to look around us for life forces. "A- a- another," I whispered through still pvssyring teeth as I managed to gesture at a distant glow towards the bow of the ship. Alawen pulled me along, as I crawled a short distance into the stern compartment where we would be safe for the moment.

After covering me with the pelt of a wolf, the ranger's deft fingers quickly struck steel to flint and lit a torch. She planted it between two loose bulkhead planks and swirled a pink vial gently over the flame. Within a few moments, she was helping me drink the warm liquid. I did much better with this second potion and the warmth flowed through me. Soon, the shivering stopped completely, leaving my muscles exhausted and aching.

"Welcome back," Alawen said, as she gently brushed the stray hair and green goo from my face.

I managed a weak smile. "Looks abandoned for sure - there should be no reason to fight," I said, mimicking Alawen's words.

"I take that to mean that you feel somewhat better, young elf." She pushed two more pink vials my way. "Here, you are not done drinking yet; one for healing, another to combat fatigue."

I sipped the potions as we repaired our equipment. "They hit hard, use frost and can temporarily disable spell casting. I think we're gonna need a plan."

Alawen teased, "sure, you curl up on the floor and distract the wraiths by letting them beat the pee out of you while I shoot."

"Oh," I said sheepishly as I glanced down, "you noticed, huh?"

"It is hard to miss if you wear doeskin greaves, Buffy. At least we know what we are dealing with now. I agree, let us talk about a plan before proceeding."

That was coo... errr.... chilly
She peed herself again??? :facepalm:

I really liked how you described the combat with the wraith. That cold touch was a very nice touch :goodjob:

edit: Your finger slipped here:
I don't think Henry has made his appearance in Tamriel.

I would like to reiterate that I am glad you are taking your time with the tournament, and not rushing things. I think working the Forlorn Watchman into the mix was a good move, because of how you tied it to Alawen. That puts an entirely new angle on the old quest, and at the same time provides a bonding experience between the two women, who will be competitors in the tournament.

This I thought was very nicely placed:
I rubbed my bruised ribs. "And if that maneuver inside the gate was your idea of a hug, I can do without that too." Then I dropped my smile and looked him in the eyes. "Savlian, I promise I will work with you. I understand you are in charge here."
It is true that Buffy is not used to working with others, or under another's direction. Her career has seen her acting by herself. I am glad you reminded us of that fact, as well as show us her willingness to take orders from another person.

Poor Buffy! In a very exciting battle she had the pee knocked out of her once more! Yikes! The sad thing is, if she had been alone she could have turned invisible and avoided that.

Looks like its time to make some Resist Frost potions before going back for round two!

nits:
I am not sure what you meant here:
and I began to form a spell that would turn the undead in mine.

How wonderful!

The progression of Buffy's development feels very natural - confidence in areas interspersed with moments of sheer weakness and terror in other areas. She may be capable against daedra, but magic-wielders, especially ghosts, still leave her terrified. Time for an enchanted dagger, perhaps?

This is another of my favorite quests (honestly I love all the Bravil side-quests) - full of rich story-telling possibilities in the tragedy of a mutiny/shipwreck.

I look forward to seeing how two Bosmer archers defeat the wraiths of the Emma May. I have faith in their abilities!

Screenshot1 was AWESOME !! And a puddle, too! Great Write Acadian! My only nit was subjective - Using the quote as her memory - it didn't work for me as I think you intended it to, didn't feel like how someone remembers things - but I have the flu, so take what I say with a grain of salt !!!

Buddy stories are among my favorite and this one was spot on. Action combined with dialog to produce a totally show-don't-tell narrative. Thank you for the reference to Sarrah and Angel. Having attended Huntington Beach High School at a time when the surfer scene was just starting I can appreciate the description of riding the waves.

EDIT: I forgot to mention, I am glad Charger is being taken care of.

Poor Buffy, fighting wraiths within the closed confines of a ship is never a good idea. Good thing Alawen was there. I like the way that you are developing the friendship between the two elves. Alawen may be cast in the roll of mentor, but she seems to learn as much from Buffy as Buffy seems to learn from her.

Alawen teased, "sure, you curl up on the floor and distract the wraiths by letting them beat the pee out of you while I shoot."

That is not something I imagine Alawen saying to many people (or mer). The fact that she says it to Buffy just goes to show how close the two are becoming. As for Buffy, she goes from confident hunter of daedra in Peryite's Oblivion to peeing little Bosmer on the floor of the Emma May. That is what I call characterization!

I withdraw a portion of my comments from last time. While I remain breathless to find out who holds the drain marksmanship scroll, I realize that this storyline is just too good to rush. I trust that all will be revealed when the time is right, and I am just patient enough to wait.

When I noticed that you were doing this quest I was very curious how this would play out. If there is one story that totally takes Buffy's 'advantages' out of her hands it is this one.
The tight confines of the ship make it hard to hit and run and the lack of vision limits the bow.
So I was very pleased to see our little Bosmer in desperate trouble during the invasion of the ship. You have stayed very true and loyal to the limitations of the characters. Awesome!!

The freezing cold impact of the wraiths was very well conveyed. I think we need somebody to carry her close to the log fire.

Wow, Alawen got her horse from Sarrah / Angel. It does make sense I guess. What with the unicorn and dragon, there is only so much room.

Good chapter as usual Acadian. But I think Buffy ought to look for some plants that have a property that will encourage bladder control.

loved the battle with the wraith... i have a question, How long does it take you to write each chapter?

Great work yet again my friend. You write every little detail with such skill it really is inspiring. From discussing what to do, to training Charger to walk on water, to the details of the fight, and the recovery afterwords, you never miss a beat. This chapter was very fun to read, and I look forward to many more.

~Digz~

I loved the natural flowing logic that allowed Alawen and Buffy together to solve part of the ghost mystery.
I expected there would be fighting on that ship, and when I read the above passage, it gave me a chill as I thought, woohoo, Buffy's going to kick some bootie! Holy guacamole, Batman, did I get surprised! I was shivering and wanted to curl up in a ball myself as she got her little bum whipped by that ghost thing! Heartpounding! I thought it was so cool to see Alawen's sense of humor as she teased Buffy about balling up on the floor. She can't win all the time hey?