When I had that problem, I walked from Whiterun to Solitude, hard saved, autosaved then fast traveled back to where she was located and it gave me her mission, another thing if you haven't done it is make sure your mission is set, cause I know sometimes with the Misc. Missions I forget to click the Misc. and the mission. Hope that works for you.
thanks for the input, but unfortunately no luck. I have even deleted my 1.4 update, and reinstalled. Tried cooking at the spit, attacking her, attacking the Jarl, talking to the General until there is no new coversation, waiting for another dragon to attack camp, clearing out Fort Dunstad, fast traveling back and forth, various shouts, spells, waiting, sleeping, crying

I have been doing other quests in the meantime and nothing triggers the new conversation. IT IS DRIVING ME NUTS. Seriously dont understand why we cant get a developers input on this? With all of the people out there having the issue, they just ignore it? I knew I should have bought the 360 version!