I will call this my intro since it isn't really driving the story anywhere and just introducing tha character. Also this story is pre Fallout 3 MQ so the vault dweller is still in the vault. That will make since later in the story though. Can't wait to see what you have to say. Critisism is wanted so i can improve.

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Just west of Paradise Falls, three raiders set up an ambush on a small cliff overlooking an old destroyed road way. They spotted a lone wanderer seemingly unknowingly walking into their trap. The man stood a decent height with short black hair and wore a Merc Charmer outfit. He had no visible weapons. When the man made his way to the middle of the road just under the cliff a raider jumped up and pointed a Chinese Assault rifle at him and said

"Move and I'll blow your [censored]'n head off!"

"Uh-oh! I guess I better do as you say." replied the stranger in a sarcastic voice.

The three raiders made their way down to him and held him up so they could loot him.
"What the hell!? He doesn't have so much as a stimpak on him!" Said raider number two, the dirtiest of the bunch. "You wasted our time! We won't even give you the dignity of being tortured!" The raider than pulled up his Chinese pistol and fired a round into the strangers' chest, who then fell to the ground seemingly dead.

"What a waste of time. I guess we can still eat him." said the last raider out loud.

"Cannibalism! You know that's highly frowned upon right?" exclaimed the once thought dead stranger as blood stained his chest.

"What the [censored]!?" said the first raider in surprise who then pulled his Chinese pistol, again, and fired three more rounds into the strangers chest.

"I think you might have severed my spine with that one, I don't think I can move!" said the stranger, still alive.

The first raider shoved the second ones shoulder and said "Blow his head off!" The raider pulled a sawed-off shotgun and placed it under the strangers chin. As the raider began to pull the trigger the stranger pushed his palm under the stock and forced the gun under the raiders head just as the shell discharged, decapitating him. The stranger took the shot gun and shot the closest raider, the one with the Chinese pistol, in the chest blasting him back and to the ground.
The stranger stood up and saw the last raider pulling a .44. The stranger threw the empty shotgun at him clocking him in the teeth, busting a few. The stranger charged and the raider pulled the .44 up and fired hitting the stranger in the forehead just above the left eyebrow. The stranger cocked his head back in a bloody mist and again fell to the ground.

"You ASS HOLE! My teeth!" Yelled the raider. The raider continued to shout obscenities for a few more seconds before turning his attention to the strangers limp body. "What the hell are you!?" the raider shouted as spit and blood shot from his mouth. He then squat beside the strangers body, still pointing the gun at his head warily. The stranger in one swif motion wrapped his arm around the raiders' arm, that held the gun, followed by punching him in the face breaking his nose. The raider dropped his gun and pushed away from the stranger clutching his nose and curling up on the ground. The raider looked up and spit blood as he asked "What are you?" in an almost pleading and fearful manner.

"My name's Carl. Nice to kill you." Said the stranger who then grabbed the raiders' head in a guillotine hold. The raider tried to stop him bust was easily over powered by Carl who then pulled up and back, breaking the raider's neck. Carl picked up the .44 and shot the raider in the head as to make sure he didn't just paralyze him.

Carl glanced at the dead raiders, and then looked at the scoped .44. 'A scoped pistol?' he thought. He grabbed a nearby rock and smashed the scope off of the pistol followed by holstering it in his waist band. He then searched the raiders' bodies and took their weapons. A Chinese pistol and rifle, a .44, a sawed-off shotgun and a little bit of ammo for them all. He pulled a knife from one of the raiders and used the blade a mirror to look at his head wound.

"Almost healed all ready." He said out loud looking at the reflection of the wound which was now almost completely sealed up. He then opened his jacket to look at his body shots. They were all most completely healed as well.


One year ago Carl was a scrounging around in radioactive waste dump. When he made his way into the inner works of the building, he tripped on a doorway and tried to catch himself with the door handle accidentally sealing himself in a room with enough radioactive waste the make a giger counter double around the meter. On the edge of death Carl's DNA scrambled and reassembled giving him immunity to radiation and the power to regenerate in seconds. On top of this, his senses keened and his body's speed and power more than tripled. He was more agile and nearly invincible. He had become a mutant, but kept his original body form. He had become the ultimate survivor, and even a predator to predators.
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I will try for chapter one today, or early tomarrow.

for some reason my quotations disapeared so I will fix that fast

I thought it was a good story! For the into, 9/10

Try not to rely on just excessive violence to make an impact in your stories.

What a twist! And very original! Keep it up.

Pretty good but I don't know how there will be conflicts if he is nearly invincible.

This is actually a pretty good story!

This is what I was thinking^

Good length and story though.