What is Evil? Is it what you do? Is it what you are? Is it something else? Is it something you do because you need to? Say you need to kill in order to survive – everything does, in it's own way. But it is the methods of a few, that are questioned, even if there is a need. Even if want never becomes a part of it. It could be said that I am evil - but have I killed someone innocent? No, for they all attacked ME first, losing any measure they may have had. Some of my efforts have saved lives, even if that by itself was not my intention. Even if I was rewarded with nothing, I did not care. Rarely would I make any kind of monetary value a mandatory part of my recompense. If offered, fine. But never something I will outright ask for, unless there is another reason involved.

When I decided that I would make the trip to Riften, I checked the Arcaneum first. It is to my discredit to find out the history behind the Dawnguard, which is...terrible. Perhaps I should have read more, and kept those details fresh in my mind, but it would be akin to keeping a stain on my clothing – unsightly. That, and I damn near broke the table when I slammed my fist on it, which gave everyone in the room quite a start. Scared an apprentice half to death when she asked what was wrong, and I yelled that nothing was, pretty much snarling at her. When she ran off, I briefly worried about what she would make of the event, but thought I'd just gift her something to soothe it over, though I would imagine that she would not do something drastic, if she knew from a brief glance at me.

If she does, it would prove my point. What makes something deserve death? If I am a monster that deserves death, only because I exist, am I a monster, or is the monster the one who wishes to kill me for...existing? They could argue that I could seek a cure, but is that a solution? Is that finding truth? To them, yes. To me? No. That would be nothing more than a bandage on an infected wound. The suggestion that being mortal is the pinnacle of existence, and nothing else is worth it, if only because it is different.

I have asked myself what would happen, if I travel to where the Dawnguard are located, and they try to kill me on sight. Well, once again, it would PROVE MY POINT. I would not have made the effort to attack them, yet they would try and kill me. I would not have made the effort to drink their blood, yet they would try and kill me. I would not have shown them any kind of ill intent, YET THEY WOULD TRY TO KILL ME. Why would this be? The answer is simple, a fact which is already obvious. They would try and kill me because I am a Vampire. I cannot emphasize this enough. Not because of my actions, but because of something I AM. How cringe worthy. But it is nothing new. Since I know there are those who, at this point, make the equation that High Elf means Thalmor, even if that makes no sense. Even if there is no uniform involved, the beliefs do not match. How much a war does to pepper minds with simple beliefs. Tragedy does the same thing. I expect to hear stories from Dawnguard members, how they had families, friends and such, killed by Vampires. Perhaps in those cases, yes, those Vampires might deserve death. But me? Do I? My this is getting simple.

But if the Dawnguard do like I hope they would treat me like a new perspective member, even if this would, in a sense, be a foolish move. A bit of irony, really, a group that pledges itself to kill Vampires, allowing a Vampire into their ranks. Not the worst thing such a group could do, since that one could be a valuable asset, even if I suspect that if they knew, it would not be so favorable a view as I would take to it.

In planing for the trip, I chose to leave my uniform at the College. It was a worry of mine that it could be discovered, but then it was true that nobody but me could readily access my quarters. Even so, I doubt it would be questioned to a disastrous capacity. I donned my Elven armor, along with a black hood and cloak. I first had some business to handle in Solitude, which is nothing of note, and dropping of a report about Ancano to the Embassy. The report also was a subversion, something to tide the staff over if I took quite a long time to send another in, or not at all. Rather than taking a carriage or any other method, I went to the Hall Of Countenance, and placed a soul gem in a holder beside a inky black orb. Once I did, touching the orb made my vision go black, and in an instant, I appeared in Solitude, on a dais that held the College's symbol. This was part of a transportation network once used by many in the College, which at this point, was mostly disused, except by me. The book I read on the subject said that each city held a point that a user would be placed after using the orb in the Hall. I have not used and thus found all the spots, as some cities I have yet to find a reason to visit.

Once I took care of my tasks there, I spoke to the carriage driver outside Solitude. Telling him I wished to go to Riften, he looked at me with some degree of surprise, but after I paid him, he shrugged, while I climbed in the back.

When we arrived in Riften, I did not enter the city. Rather, I took the quicker path around the city walls, reaching the eastern road, which should lead right to Fort Dawnguard. Rather than leading right to it, it instead lead to a opening in the rocks, which seemed to go straight through the mountain. Beside this was a pair of braziers, each lit with a roaring fire. Taking this path, I emerged into a canyon, that seemed to lead into a larger valley. As I walked, I wondered who I'd meet, since nothing suggested who the Dawnguard really were. Even with what I suspected, even with what I thought about it, I was honestly hoping for more than psychotic fools who just wanted to revel in killing Vampires.

Just before I entered the valley, I met a man who seemed to have a similar intention as I...somewhat did. To join the Dawnguard. Or so he mentioned upon spotting me. His words as we walked up to the fort together were, mixed. I took him for something of a fool, since his motivation was just as callous as I expected from the rest of the Dawnguard. To kill Vampires for no other reason then I've already said.

When I entered the fort, I noticed it's state of disrepair. Spider webs, boxes placed near walls, and the near complete lack of life. Save for at least two people in the middle of the circular room, taking about the Hall of the Vigilant getting attacked by Vampires. I knew of this place, since I had studied famous places around Skyrim before I left the Embassy, the Hall being one of them. The Vigilant, Tolan seemed to plead with Isran for help, even if Isran did not like it.

When I approached, I half expected Isran's first words to name me a Vampire, and try and kill me. I had even been bold enough to take off my hood, and present my face directly to him. When he asked why I was here, I said the obvious, that I heard that they were looking for Vampire Hunters.

I was right. Only, it seemed only a rather recent rumor or going around of information, as it did not seem as if many were actually coming to the Fort to join – even if I had heard a guard or two suggesting they were considering it. Still, rather than anything specific, Isran said that they needed someone to “Take the fight to the damn Vampires”, although what he really wanted me to do was a sightly different task than that.

Tolan then spoke of a place called Dimhollow Crypt, where it seemed the Vampires had gone looking for something of value. They wanted to know what, and I seemed perfect to go there and find out.

So I took the carriage and paid the driver a little extra to take me to Stonehills, a small mining village in the Pale, close to the border of Haalmarch. From there the Crypt was a short ride around the mountain. Only before I found the path up, I found the ruins of the Hall of the Vigilant. The fires had not yet burned out, and there was very little decay on the bodies of the Vigilants, or the few Vampires.

I noticed something, though. The human bodies were not drained. The blood from them would have been satisfying, but stagnant, so I refrained. Although I have never had the problem of going to hysterics upon the sight of blood, either during my training in restoration magic or after becoming a Vampire. But the fact that these humans' bodies still held much of their blood, said to me that this attack was not about food. It was not about hunger, but another kind of want. Perhaps information, perhaps something else.

Very soon after I entered the Crypt. I had the expectation to find Vampires inside, and this was not proven false. Obviously they took offense to my presence, even if they could tell that I too was a Vampire. I would have spared them, but they did not leave that as an option.

However, before I encountered the two in the first room, they mentioned someone called Lokil, possibly the leader of this group? They also mentioned another. Harkon. Only this name was mentioned with a certain pretense that this was not someone who came with them, but one that the female Vampire would “Go back to tell”. It seemed trivial, but I decided to keep this in mind.

Skeletons, Draugr, Vampires. An interesting mix of foes, but nothing I could not handle. Even if their taunts became taxing, even that of the Draugr, which I had been attempting to learn what I could of this “Dragon Language”. So their attempt at speech was not as descriptive as I thought. One of the most common things they seemed to say, was essentially “You will be sorry.” Eh, more or less, anyway.

When I reached a large gate, I had to smirk at the sight of a Vampire fighting a large spider. While he did indeed manage to kill the creature, he was little match for me. But what I started at next, while just a different form of architecture that I had not seen before in Skyrim, it seemed to matter. I had seen Gargoyles in other places, but never here in Skyrim.

The next area seemed to be one of significance. Before me was an open gate, and beyond a room filled with light of the moon, illuminating much of the room, perhaps beyond what simple moonlight shining into a cavern should. Perhaps something about the stonework?

I made little effort to keep myself hidden, but still managed to hear a short conversation. The previously mentioned Lokil was indeed here, and interrogating a member of the Vigilant. At least breifly, since once the man refused to speak, I saw him killed by Lokil. The Vampire by his side questioned it, but with little care in her voice, just worry that whatever they sought, it would not be gained with the man's death. But Lokil mentioned something, referring to a “Harkon”, once again - perhaps the one who sent these Vampires here.

I am sure others would hear such a name and hear nothing more than an unspeakable evil, but I did not. It was information, nothing more. To judge it now is foolish. For I knew nothing of the Man or Vampire named Harkon, at least naught but the name. No book I had never read mentioned him, save for perhaps a book that mentioned the Volkihar name, Immortal Blood. If it was related, I was as of yet unaware.

The Lokil and her companion took offense like the rest, but it mattered very little. The sense I get from this is that perhaps Lokil should be more powerful that he suggests, but that could not be further from the truth. Both of them were cut down with relative ease, as their thralls.

But this left me with a mystery. The large structure in the center of the cavern. Two rows of arches circled around a center pillar, which was only about waist height. A seemingly smooth dome sat on this pillar, with a circle of blood around an edge, suggesting that this was not just a forged piece of complete steel, but something, else.

On a whim, I placed my hand on this dome, and lightly forced it down. This was not the mistake for me that it could have been for others – since in this instance, a steel spike was driven through my palm, only causing a slight wince of pain from me, where I am sure others would have screamed.

I was laughing at the hole in my hand, which began to heal as I stared at it. Though this was not the only outcome.

Around the circular impressions in the floor were now these purple walls of energy. It felt cold, yet warming at the same time, and caused no pain. It was a puzzle, to be sure, perhaps something that was meant to confuse those who got this far from gaining whatever prize lay within.

But this seemed simple. Alongside the center pillar was a number of others, placed along other impressions on the floor which all pointed into the center. These pillars had silver braizers, with some kind of violet power inside. It seemed obvious, but I chose to kick one of them, which shoved it backwards along a straight line. Once it stopped, a flame the same color of the power lit within the brazier, and walls coming up from the circular impressions on the floor changed.

Once all of them were in what seemed the proper place, the center pillar almost seemed to raise, but it was only the circular impressions on the floor lowering to reveal a monolith beneath the center, with two carved out lines on a side with a corner.

I placed my hand on this, and I felt something. A power that I could not ignore, but did not fear. If only because something said that what was about to occur was not a fight.

A side of the monolith dropped, revealing it's contents. Not some ancient artifact, but rather a dark haired woman who almost fell out of the monolith, but I made the effort to catch her. As I did, she looked at me, and I her. We both knew.

Like myself, she was and is a Vampire. I questioned myself what any other would do in this situation. What they would think of what they would discover here. I could think of many possibles, from those who would have viewed the button as a clear trap, and not worth their time, to those who would greet the woman, Serana, with nothing more than a blade and a quick death.

I presented her with none of these things. I greeted her with open arms, to which she seemed somewhat hesitant, but grateful.

I noticed that on her back was an Elder Scroll. Asking about it only lead to her dodging the question, but I did not press her. As important a detail as it was, it was not meant for the Dawnguard, but for me.

What she asked of me, was to take her home. Again, I thought of what others would want to do.

I would do as she asked. If only because I knew little to suggest that this was a trap. Perhaps I never even thought of that. Perhaps, I was willing to endure whatever to see where this mystery would lead. But without suspicion. Without thinking that any Vampires I meet, are worthless. That kind of thinking does not help anyone, no matter how righteous it is thought to be.