I'm doing the Civil War quest and I have to deliver the message to the Jarl of Whiterun... I have also decided not to do the MQ as it doesn't fit in with this character... When I approach Balgruuf he says he isn't willing to deal with it until he has sorted out the Dragons... Is there a way to progress in the Civil War quest without me having to fight the first dragon at the tower...

Unfortunately you are always forced to be the Dragonborn if you want to do the war.

If I were to name the one thing I most dislike about this game, this would be it.

So I can't do the Civil War unless I finish the MQ...

No, no, you just have to finish Dragon Rising.

Unfortunately, not until you finish Dragon Rising. Bethesda (for whatever reason) set the quests up so that they are dependent on each other. This isn't the only instance where they've done this kind of thing either.

So doing Dragon Rising won't activate roaming dragons... It's been such a long time I've done the MQ I can't remember...

Yes, it will. That's what we're saying. You have to complete Dragon Rising (and therefore trigger Dragons and be acknowledged as Dragonborn) before you can give Balgruuf the Axe and continue the Civil War quests.

OK I get it... Thanks for the answers...

It svcks, big time. I didn't want to be Dragonborn either, but Balgruuf left me no choice. Still, being a somewhat grumpy sellsword who never wanted to be a hero turned into a fun roleplay.

The way I like to play the game is by having lots of small characters that only do certain quests, so this character was going to be a legendary Imperial war Hero... but not no more...

I'm sure there are mods to fix this.