There are far more important things that you need to focus on.

"Lol". Like how is that at all appropriate? "Ha, I just attacked an innocent perons, oh well".

I agree with the Lt. There are some things that need addressing before you go to a college or university. With the stress and obvious drastic change to your life, you might be more prone to act out. Can't having you leaving any other teachers on the floor, now can we?

I have a friend (Anglish) and he has Asperpers. He is currently doing a course in college, so you should have no such issue. He couldn't join the military and finding a regular job (before his college qualification, mind you) was more difficult as it is technically seen as a minor disability. However, his college course is going fine.

If you dont like people, do you like nature? Cause it helps me just to get out and walk in thr grass, anf look at the birds, scientificly that is, so i look at their behavior, and patterns i flight , walking ect, its also fun to just watch people walk by and such, not neccissarily talking to them.

I agree with you entirely!

I have been Diagnosed with "Seasonal Effective Disorder" (yes, I have been diagnosed with alot of things), as such, in this time of year I love going out and waling on back trails/roads, going Hikeing through the woods, or making a fishing trip to one of my favorite spots..


the human mind actually requires Sunlight, and when all someone does is sit in their room playing games and reading the web they do not get that required Sunlight and it puts them further into a state of Depression..

as such, its good to get out into nature and be somewhat Active.. Fishing, Hiking, Biking, walking, etc. they all serve this purpose, and as such will really help someone get out of a state of depression...

What is that, if you don't mind me asking?

Besides Daniel Johnston, another non-typical guy who is into old music is http://www.redbullmusicacademy.com/magazine/robert-crumb-interview.

As it says in that interview "Crumb also plays music, having started out with The Cheap Suit Serenaders – an old timey string band whose efforts seemed willfully out of sync in the 1970s but now appear very hip considering almost every young American and British musician is attempting to play banjo and dress in 1930s gear." From what I know of you, obviously just a few posts on a forum, I would look at that path. There is tolerance for non-typical people in that scene.

I've had a few jobs there, and I lived through them. I spent 4 months straight one summer digging ditches in the sun (with a regular old shovel...not powered equipment) five days a week for a landscaping company when I was 18. That wasn't even the worst job I ever worked. Work isn't necessarily supposed to be fun, but it gets you a paycheck and some time out doing something. I'm pretty sure it was good for me despite feeling like I was in hell at the time.

I'm not suggesting you dig ditches...just suggesting that work (especially early-on) isn't always going to be pleasant.

like I said, the human body requires Sunlight to keep a solid firm state of mind..

Seasonal Affective Disorder is pretty much an increased (or decreased in some peoles cases) need beyond that of the average Individual.. in my case in the Winter seasons, where we get less Sunlight, i am are Severely Affected and put into a state of anti-social depression..

one of the common Treatments I use is "Light Therapy", which is basically a large Lamp (that cost me way more then it should of) that I have pointed towards me for an hour a day (no longer) during the winter months, that emits light at a similar wave-length to sunlight itself, pretty much artificial sunlight to combat the disorder..

Well clearly it isn't education you want, it's just something to do. (Though if it is, Turns pretty much summed up exactly what I would have said)

In which case, I just advise that you pick up a hobby of some sort. Getting back into academics will take effort, as will anything else, so saying that it's difficult is a moot point. However, the fact that it's difficult is a good thing. If it's difficult, it's meaningful - and worth something. You'll be satisfied in doing it.

You've been sitting around doing nothing for years, correct? Well what's easier than sitting around doing nothing? Nothing! But how far has "easy" gotten you?

So, step one, just do whatever it is you like - but actually do it. As you start something and gradually progress, you'll gain the confidence and motivation to continue. You just need to keep working towards something you actually love and enjoy.

Now, there's also the possibility that there may indeed be some real mental instability going on in which case, I would advise it being checked out. But let me tell you, that whether you have something wrong or not, or whether you're upset or depressed or giving up or whatever, you are not useless. You can make something of yourself and do something. Something huge even. A lot of the greatest minds throughout history were considered to have a few screws loose in their time. It doesn't mean there isn't any potential in you whatsoever.

You can keep coming here to let a load off your chest or get some motivation or a shoulder to cry on, of course, we'd be here to support you - but that shouldn't be the end of it. Try to fight past whatever you find difficult. If getting into college is what you really want, then damn well do it, and don't let anyone tell you that you can't, and don't let an afternoon of meeting some tool stand in your way of achieving what you want. Don't hide from the storm. Be the storm.

I've actually ran into to a lot of his animations and drawings on old blues guys. So I'm familiar with him. But how's this relevant? I'm genuinely intrigued though.. Old folk music and blues is my passion.

And thanks Holy Assassin for the advice and encouragement. God knows I need it.

Just because guys like Daniel Johnston and R. Crumb eventually made a good living out of such stuff, not really despite having mental problems, but partly because they are different from typical boring people. That scene is used to unusual characters.

Go through the process of professional medical help. Ask questions, understand what conditions are/if diagnosed. Accept that there are few if any quick fixes.

Speak to them about looking for support channels regarding education, training or employment. I've gone through GCSE, A-Level, Degree, both art college and university, NVQ and am looking to retrain on a second degree in a year or two. I've worked manual, arts, admin and customer service. There are many possible avenues out there both in work and education. You're going to have to pro-actively look though.

Accept that you are going to have to do things that you won't enjoy.

I'd agree with this. The fact that you find what you did funny is worrying. You really aren't ready for something like college - whatever you do will involve interaction with people and you need to address this. I'm afraid that until you get your mental state under control there might not be many options open to you. Yeah, I think military would be out of the question. Work... you would have to pass an interview, which would mean washing and also interacting. You would have to actually get an interview. With no qualifications and being out of work and education for 4 years that's unlikely. So what to do? Well you're an advlt now, without a diagnosed disability, and you live at home, so they any course you apply for will expect for the whole thing to be funded by you. Don't scoff at the fact that you need to pay for it. The state - everybody's taxes - paid for you to go to school and get GCSEs and A-Levels and be educated until you were 18. You turned that down so you can't expect a free ride now. If you want somebody to take the time to teach you, they will expect to be paid. Therefore if you want a course, and you aren't registered with some sort of learning disability, you will need to pay for it. There are, I believe, schemes for people who do suffer from such disabilities but that's further down the line.

I'm sorry, you're a nice guy and all but the way you said 'lol' when talking about hurting your teacher - your teacher who obviously cared so much about you that even after you assaulted him he still tried to help you with this music interview - and then the way you scoffed at the credentials of the careers adviser, and then complain that you aren't being taught for free... it just gets my back up. It really is a bad attitude. You're in a bad place, I get that, but you have to help yourself.

Okay. So I think that the focus needs to be on two things - getting you diagnosed and getting you socially capable. After that things should start to fall into place. Getting despondent isn't helpful - you have some things to work towards and you have a mother who will help you do that, and that's more than lots of people have. As for being Aspergers - it is no excuse. It is a reason but not an excuse. My sister-in-law has Aspergers. She has recently completed her PhD in chemical engineering and now works in chemical research for Intel. She may not have the same level of the illness as you, but she certainly struggles with even simple social interactions. But she hasn't used that as an excuse to hold her back. You think you have a mental illness. Well that's great. Now that you know you have a problem, and doubly after you get it diagnosed, you can put it aside, stop wondering why you behave as you do, and start actually trying to improve your life. So get that diagnosis, get therapy, hell institutionalise yourself if you have to, just don't go doing anything stupid. You're only 20 with a full life ahead of you. Career, relationships, children? Right now you've got to stop feeling sorry for yourself and make some life goals. You've got to get diagnosed, you've got to get onto a subsidised course and you've got to figure out what you want from life. Nobody is holding you back but you.

Pretty much this. It sounds like you have quite a few serious problems you need to deal with, and college isn't likely to help you with any of them. With college you really need to know what you want to get out of it before you go in, otherwise you'll usually end up in no better situation when you finish, just several thousand pounds poorer. College also requires a decent amount of self-motivation and discipline to get anything out of it, and it sounds like both of those are areas where you really need to improve. So I'll second the two suggestions above. See doctors, go to therapy, get whatever mental issues you have sorted out (whether this is getting on the right meds, working things out in therapy, or whatever else it takes). Also, get out of the house and get some kind of a job. Yes, you don't like that idea; svck it up. As I mentioned self-discipline is an area where you seem to have serious deficiencies, and just holding down a part-time job will require you to actually make some efforts there. It's also a good measure for whether you're making enough progress with your overall mental state. If you're not able to control yourself well enough to hold a low-level part-time job then you're not going to be able to be successful in college or, well, just about anything. So do whatever is necessary to get yourself into a state where you can manage doing some low-level job, then you can think about taking steps to get yourself into a better situation (such as going through college or vocational training to get yourself into a job you'd be happier with).

You have to see the absurd side of such things. I made a joke about it, it's dark humor. Obviously he doesn't think it was trivial. Not the most important point to take from the post.

http://www.mentalhealth.gov/get-help/immediate-help/index.html