Okay, I may come across as being depressed, but that's not what I want to talk about.

I left school when I was fourteen because I had my teacher flinching on the floor lol, I also used to strangle and attack helpless students. Needless to say, I wasn't exactly a great student. The day before the last tests I burnt my hand so badly that I couldn't sleep, so I sat in the hall just scratching the hell out of my hand while everyone else did work. Everyone was scared of me. So they made me do the remaining tests that I wasn't allowed to study for in a room by myself with TWO teachers watching over me.

They were actually suprised when I did nothing. I was sixteen, and I was brought back to school because by law I had to do my tests, but they kept me at home illegally because they thought I was crazy. I got U's and G's.

My mother took me to a college interview after school along with the teacher that I basically tried to strangle with my tie, for some reason he came along. It was a music course, and the teacher was again surprised when I told him that I really didn't give a [censored] about playing music in the same way that he did. So he gave me a guitar and I played, you could sense the awkwardness in the room after that. He said that I had to learn Lady Gaga songs before I was even to be considered for the course. So naturally I didn't. And ever since then I've been in my house. He also told my mother to get me tested for autism... Sigh.

This is all relevant information. Because I want to know what exactly I have to do to go to college. I mean seriously, I've been sat here not washing and not brushing my teeth in the same pyjamas for four years, not even as much as playing games.. I literally do NOTHING. So I'm twenty years old and I want to know how to go to college, and if I can't and I'm forced into work I will start thinking about bad things that I can't mention.

Seriously, I'm lost. What the hell do I do? I don't understand anything. Lock this if you like, this is basically me giving up anyway. Maybe I should just run out the door naked and see what happens? I've been thinking that for a while. But my grandmother says that it's called "streaking" and it's against the law.

First step in going to college is to be accepted by a college, you don't just show up and get into classes.

You seem to be a very problematic individual. Perhaps go to school related to helping out other people similar to yourself? Take your pain and use it to ease the suffering of your fellow man?

I think to get into college, you'd have to fulfill the course requirements, which basically closes out all A levels for you unless you plan to retake your GCSEs first.

You'd probably be better off looking into what vocational courses and BTECs are available at the colleges in your area.

This is all rather confusing, but thanks for baring(?) with me.

No way am I going to HELP people... LOL. Sorry, but I hate people, I'm not trying to be unkind here.

What's a BTEC or a vocational course? I went to a college opening two years ago, and they told me that I had to pay four thousand pounds for a course in manual labour. Meaning I have to PAY to be working class. Everything is dark. Not just for me, the world is dark and I just have to accept that.

Well BTECs are qualifications in non-academic stuff. SO you can get BTECs in things like hairdressing, car repair, cookery and probably music as well. The main benefit they'd offer is that you don't necessarily need to have GCSEs to study them.

Of course, the thing I'd forgotten is they're only free for 16-19 year olds, so unless you could get on some sort of government scheme to send you on one, you'd have to pay.

You'd probably be better off going to a career's advice centre and telling them what you want to do, and ask the best way to go about that.

Why does everything have to be so complicated? I'm kind of depressed as it is, and I seriously have to book an appointment with some vile idiot in an office so I can know where to go next? Wow.. I mean I'm trying here, but this is difficult. I mean, really really difficult.

Okay, so I won't be doing anything that I have to pay for. That's for absolute certain, no way am I letting my mother pay for me to go and strangle innocent people and go insane. There has to be another way? So how do you retake the GCSE's?

I have a bigger question for you:

What do you WANT to do? If you could have any job in the world to make a serious living, what would you do? Try to answer this realistically but also honestly. I'm thinking any path through academia is probably not for you, but that does not limit you from going to college.

There is one option I always post to people who want to get the hell out of what they're doing and do something completely different, challenging, and when it's over you have an education: Join the military.

you would probably be better off going to Community College..

which Isn't necessarily a bad thing.. where I live anyways Electricians, IT Specialists, and Nurses can actually make a really decent wage.. all of which you can start on the path for by going to your nearby Community College..

Commuinity Colleges are usually alot cheaper, have less prerequisites to enter, but if you go into the right field and apply yourself can actually make a really good wage in your chosen career path...

Did you ever hear of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Johnston?

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/1158179-devil_and_daniel_johnston/

How about http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Outsider_art?

You might want to start getting a music or art portfolio together, then applying to courses for that kind of thing.

First Mounted Necktie Battalion

I don't think the military will let the OP in

Generally you'd retake them at a college. Which you'd have to pay for. But there may be other ways, which is what a career's advisor would be able to help you find out.

He's not American, our system works a bit differently. That's kind of what you'd get in a vocational course at one of our advlt colleges.

from what he posted he likely would not be able to enlist..

I have Aspergers syndrome, and as a result I legally can not enlist..

I know with the Canadian Military anyways, if they so much as even expect you to suffer from an underlying mental Condition you are not eligible to enlist (although fortunately, you are not eligible to be drafted either)

with his background, they would expect an underlying mental condition (even if not diagnosed), as such he would be rejected right at the recruiting office..

What's academia? I honestly don't know, I don't have any specific jobs in mind. I'm just trying to keep from getting so depressed that I end up killing myself and leaving my family behind. That's literally all it is, and I'll probably have a mental breakdown in college anyway. But at least then maybe people will start to understand that I do struggle with things.

Military? Wow.. Okay, if I had a gun in my hand, I could have a lot of fun. I'll leave you to figure that one out. I'm way to mentally unstable to hold a gun, and on the same note I could never drive. One flick of the wrist and I'm dead.. It's too tempting. I think you've kind of got me wrong, but thanks for the reply anyway.

If I had it my way I would honestly just run out of the door naked covered in.. Well nvm. But I have a mother and a grandmother. I have to at least try and make them proud I suppose? But I'm too weak, I just want to know how to study stuff. Ugh. Also bare in mind that I'm being tested for aspergers because so many people including a doctor and a psychiatrist think I have it and have referred me to a clinic, so that could make this stuff even harder. Sorry I really don't mean to be doing this, I just want to know how to go to college and it's too confusing for me, I'm too weak.

I am not American either, I'm Canadian...

I simply assumed it would be similar in other Commonwealth nations... I apologize for being mistaken ...
either way, you just taught me something new I appreciate it

You would be surprised.

Academia is essentially what the college/university communities are. Students are part of, professors and scientists of universities and research labs are the core of that though (and they use students to aid in their adventures...who will eventually rise to that level and then use students of their own...and so forth).

Ok, military not a good option for you.

Do you have a mind for math? A mind for science? A mind for history?

If you want to be an artist, study an instrument. You don't need to go to college for that though. You could go to an art & music school for that.

How about just entering the work field and doing something to keep your mind focused? Burning muscles, stinging palms, and sweaty dirty brows have made lots of men very happy in their life.

I don't know much about foreign militarys but I know the US military wouldn't allow someone who was clearly mentally unstable into the military. (No offense OP)

Well they may be able to help with that. It's a fair bit easier to get on certain courses, and get funding for it, if you have a recognized disability. The thing is, you have to ask about it. Communicate with these people, tell them what you want to try to do. They deal with this sort of thing fairly often, they know what roads are open to you.

Actually, Aspergers may actually make things much easier for you..

Once again, I am speaking with only knowledge of how things work in Canada, Im not sure about things in your nation...



the Canadian Government (be it Federal, Provincial, or Municiple) have measures in place to ease the lives of those with any Condition within the Autism Spectrum..

as Such, Having Aspegers you have Scholarships only Available only to you, funding to get a government job only available to you (its from this I worked in the Government for Several years), Universities and Colleges have Special Admittance's reserved specifically for students with such Conditions.. if you have the proper prerequisites you would be more likely to be chosen for Law or Medical School...


Once again, I am not sure how things work where you live, but if you were in Canada we have measures in place to ease the Lives of those with Aspergers (which sadly most people diagnosed don't take advantage of), infact if you went to a Community College such as NBCC for example, and you made a few calls, they would both pay your living expenses and give you a living allowance (as long as you attened everyday).. in a way, they would be paying YOU to go back to school...



once again, not sure how things work where you are, but here in Canada Aspergers would make your life much easier, and open so many doors for you..

When you say "I'm weak", that just depression talking. There's no point blaming yourself, you didn't choose to be dealt this hand. Chill out, take your time. Forget about what other people think of you. No-one will ever really understand you, no-one will ever really understand me, no-one understands anyone fully. You just have to accept it, it's a waste of time trying to work out how others picture you. I'm giving you a pass on that line of thought, get out of jail free.

If you want to get paid you have to sell something, it's humiliating but it's the nature of the beast. It's surprising what people might want to buy. Try to spend your spare time studying and practicing things. In the meantime, be nice to the people around you, that is just as good as having an impressive job.

+1

I dont know if your past "problems" come from anger or what, i have anger issues, but i deal with them differently, i take them out on objects, such as doors, or walls. If your past is not driven by anger, then shrug off what i have said, anyway, my anger is massive, but in short bursts, ive almost strangled my dad, but i quickly regained control, i have problems, and im not going to tell them alll here, but people can be useless, i try to see the good in people, but they all have evil.

I once heard a quote similar to this, if you look for the bad in people, you will always find it, but its those times you look for good, and rarely find it, that makes it all worth while.

No offense intended, but from the way you describe your current situation and past, I'm not sure College/University is what you should be focusing on at this point.

I would really suggest:

1. Going to therapy or seeking sort of professional help (if you aren't already). You clearly seem to be working through some tough issues that you may not be able to simply resolve yourself. I don't think you're really in a state at this point to be handling the stress of College and such.

2. From the sound of things, I assume you are unemployed. I would perhaps start looking into employment now. It doesn't even have to be a full time job. Part-time or a few couple a week at this point would probably be good for you (and then gradually working your way up). Aside from making some money and possibly helping your mother out with bills and the like, you could start saving money up and putting yourself on the track to some sense of financial independence.

I'll try and address everything here.

I don't have a mind for maths or history, I really don't. I'm kind of average to below average intelligence.

Art and music school? I didn't even know that there was such a thing?

I don't know if I have aspergers yet, but it's a long wait. I won't find out until July. But I honestly don't know how stuff like that works in England.

Well I've been to the doctors about all of this stuff, intending on going to therapy and I was told that I was too majorly depressed to go to their therapy, so I was instead referred to the hospital. The psychiatrist there told me to come off the meds, and he referred me to an autism spectrum clinic that I'm waiting to attend.

I honestly have been trying. I went to a college opening day and it was so confusing.... No-one understood my situation. They didn't understand how a school would keep me from attending. Some even mistook me for a young teenager. I had to pay for manual labour courses, and not only did I not want to do them, but even I did I had to PAY thousands of pounds.

I don't know when the next opening is.. But maybe I'll just humour it? And try again? They couldn't help me though because they had no idea how I could sign on or whatever... They just gave me a bunch of BS.

Work? Ugh.. That would be even worse I'm afraid, I'd honestly be in hell.