Confounded Cyrodiil

Post » Thu Jun 24, 2010 9:15 am

Just something I wrote a while back over at Chorrol. Enjoy!

Introduction
After fighting legions of necromancers, hordes of undead, and dozens of spirits you enter a hallway with a locked door at the end. Thus far your expedition within this Ayleid ruin has been uneventful and unsatisfying due to the fact that you've found no treasure, just traps and deranged spell casters living deep in the darkness...not so much as a single welknyd stone has survived the generations of plunder that the place has endured. The journal of one of the worshipers revealed to you moments before that there is a door that they've been unable to open due to the complexity of the lock and it might just be the break you've been hoping for. You look around carefully, making sure the area is safe before removing the small lock pick from your rucksack and probing inside the lock. After several minutes your past training with the thieves guild allows you to pop open the lock fairly easily and push the door slowly open.

The blue glow inside reveals to you the presence of several Varla stones as well as a large treasury, overflowing with gold, seemingly untouched by adventurers such as yourself. Further inside the room you see that there once was another entrance but many of the massive stones that make up the ruins have fallen and sealed it completely. In the corner there is a skeleton grasping a dagger in one hand and a journal in the other, oddly inside the ribcage there are dozens of keys. You shut the door behind you and approach the body of the long dead adventurer. You pick up the journal and open it...the last entry was several years ago.


The Last Words of an Adventurer
My time in Tamriel has been unsatisfying compared to my life in Morrowind. After my arrival on Vvardenfell I felt more and more powerful as I honed my many skills...yet here in Cyrodiil it seems as if no matter how hard I try to become stronger my enemies are always right behind me or just ahead in skill. My days of using throwing stars and darts in morrowind are long gone, and my skill with the crossbow is pointless. For some reason I've not seen crossbows, throwing stars, spears, staves, medium armor, OR darts of any kind since I arrived here...its as if they don't even exist. Unique objects I found back in Morrowind seem to have all turned up here as well, in the blink of an eye. I distinctly remember finding Azura's star in Vvardenfell and it looked much different as well...I swear I'll never be able to truly understand the workings of the daedric gods.

Since I began adventuring here I've also developed the inability to drop certain things...its not that I don't want to its that I literally can't bare to put them down...some keys, notes, and objects I simply cannot drop. Its as if I picked up something that the universe wants me to keep forever...many of these items have been useful during the quests I've set out on but even long after I find the inability to get rid of them. There is no warning for this strange occurrence either, I just happen to pick up an item and if its important I can't force myself to let them go…even after its no longer useful.. I saw a healer as I believed I was cursed...since I'd never had this problem before I came to Cyrodiil. He assured me that this type of thing was quite normal and that many foreigners like me are crazy and complain too much! Being unable to drop things is not normal! I swear people act so irrational here.

Like a few days ago I noticed that listening in on people's conversations tends to get you nowhere. It is odd trying to decipher the random gibberish that people talk about, its so strange and incoherent that I actually feel dumber having heard most people speaking about things. I actually spoke to a man named Amantius Allectus that referred to himself in the third person and told me that he'd been murdered in a botched robbery...what’s worse is that everyone in town seemed to be talking about it as well as if he'd convinced them all. I guess what I'm saying is that people were quieter where I came from, and things were a lot less confusing. Not to mention the fact that guards will kill people here for stealing bread or other inexpensive items...without giving them the option to go to jail peacefully. Though it does seem that people are a bit smarter here, as my only attempt to steal from a shopkeeper while she was watching landed me in prison. Though she didn't need to leave to tell the guard, must have been a telepath...that’s not much different from my time in Vvardenfell though. Note to reader: People are more persistent in Cyrodiil, running outside of a building does not stop them from beating you half to death for taking that sweet succulent sweetroll.

My biggest complaint is that things are no longer difficult for me aside from combat with my foes that seem to grow stronger and stronger as I do...you see I have acquired a compass that doesn't point north...oddly enough it points in the direction of items or people that are important to quests I've started on, taking the guesswork and the challenge out of everything. I wish I could get rid of it but alas it is one of those items that I simply cannot bring myself to throw away.

If I need to find something I just look at the compass. Oh your sick child was kidnapped by goblins? I'll just check my trusty compass. Don't worry Miss, I can travel pretty quickly, almost as if I just picked out a place on a map and appeared there...forget paying for travel or buying a horse. Actually I don't recall seeing any children anywhere...ever...so I doubt you're telling me the truth about your sick kid. I could've sworn there were children but come to think of it I don't remember ever seeing one before.

My mind must be playing tricks on me, because it seems like all of the dunmer sound different here as well...not just the accent either, its like their voices have completely changed...maybe just the climate? Khajiit and Argonians walk upright as well, these things never cease to amaze me.

Something else I've noticed is that the lock picks are of extremely poor quality here in Cyrodiil...I remember using lock picks dozens of times in Vvardenfell but it seems like every time I make a single mistake on a lock the pick breaks! Which brings me to my current situation.

I overheard a beggar speaking to another man about the secret entrance to this ruin...it was hard to understand since the other man constantly cut him off talking about the fighter's guild. The beggar didn't even seem to notice though and kept rambling on. Anyways after several minutes of each man repeating what he'd said over and over, I was compelled to write the entry in my journal. After which I pulled out my trusty compass and quickly found my way here. I swam through the underwater tunnels and climbed a stairway leading to the secret treasury entrance, where I'm currently entombed.

After arriving I began grabbing everything I could. Unfortunately, when I picked up a bag of gold I sat off some sort of trap and the door I'd entered through shook and collapsed. I would've just picked the lock on the other door but I broke ten, yes ten lock picks trying to open the door! I have no way to exit now. I guess this letter should be titled "Last Words of a Dying Fool."

Its been weeks since I was initially trapped and I've decided to take my own life by swallowing all of the keys that I've been unable to drop during my adventures, there are forty-seven of them in all and I believe it will do the trick. If you are finding this do not take anything around me, as it is not likely that you will ever be able to drop any of it. Well farewell now dear reader, may your days as an adventurer be more fulfilling than mine.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As you think about the things you've read in this journal you realize that most of what this man has said is true, having been to Vvardenfell yourself you can relate and begin to wonder about why so many things were different from that strange land even though it borders Cyrodiil. You grab the loot around the room and turn to leave but decide that the journal should stay here with its rightful owner.

As you try to drop the thick book, you are unable.

Ah crap...
User avatar
Charlotte X
 
Posts: 3318
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2006 2:53 am

Post » Wed Jun 23, 2010 9:30 pm

Ah, I love a good bit of humor!

That, that made me laugh... very nice. I quite related to the poor hapless fool left to end his own life by swallowing keys... I once got trapped in one of those ayleid ruin traps where the walls rush up and lock you in with the poisonous gas... yeah... it trapped a rat in there with me, and I got diseased. My strength was damaged, so I couldn't move without literally dropping -everything-.

So, rather than dying slowly, I burned myself to death with a fire on self spell.

If I could have swallowed my 120 keys, though... I totally would have gone that route.
User avatar
casey macmillan
 
Posts: 3474
Joined: Fri Feb 09, 2007 7:37 pm

Post » Wed Jun 23, 2010 6:40 pm

Very good. I liked it. Very humorous, because it's so true. Poor adventurer.... :violin:
User avatar
Laura Shipley
 
Posts: 3564
Joined: Thu Oct 26, 2006 4:47 am

Post » Thu Jun 24, 2010 2:23 am

Me gusta!!

(That means 'I like' in Spanish)
User avatar
KiiSsez jdgaf Benzler
 
Posts: 3546
Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2007 7:10 am

Post » Wed Jun 23, 2010 9:09 pm

Well done. Made me laugh! :clap:
User avatar
Sweets Sweets
 
Posts: 3339
Joined: Tue Jun 13, 2006 3:26 am

Post » Wed Jun 23, 2010 9:15 pm

I thought it was funny, but you definitely seemed a little too biased against Oblivion. Don't get me wrong; I certainly preferred Morrowind, but if you're going to point out little things that aren't realistic in Oblivion, it's only fair to point out that people in Morrowind were all awake 24/7 and only wandered in 20 foot by 20 foot blocks and that your attacks would often just head straight through an enemy to no effect.

The writing itself was excellent, but your satire seemed a little too prejudiced and one-sided. I don't really want to debate the relative merits of the games themselves here, since that's off-topic, but that's how it came across to me.
User avatar
Elina
 
Posts: 3411
Joined: Wed Jun 21, 2006 10:09 pm

Post » Wed Jun 23, 2010 7:52 pm

Yeah it was written several years ago, I'll be the first one to admit my bias between the games. My main goal with this was mainly to point out the things I didn't like but to do so artistically. Thanks for all the replies guys, glad to know some of you enjoyed the writing.
User avatar
Rach B
 
Posts: 3419
Joined: Thu Mar 08, 2007 11:30 am


Return to The Elder Scrolls Series Discussion