I want the game you're playing, because it sure isn't Fallout 4 if you're not getting stronger as you level up.
One of the biggest problems I have with the game is being too OP, which is a balance game because the leveling system is broken (for that, I agree with you).
However, once the game is played, knowing the balance and planning accordingly is easy to do. One of the best things about Skyrim and Fallout 4 is that we're no longer required to take perks (and Skryim goes one further by allowing you to lock your level at 1, if you want).
I don't buy into the "need to plan character creation" defense you're stating is an issue. Fallout 4 does not require you to pick perks nor does it force you to build a character in a specific way as to "play it".
Thus, any bobblehead chasing you're doing is your fault, not the game's fault, and the criticizing of the element is borderline "Must have everything handed to me level 1 or this game svckorz!" entitlement, which I can't stand. I'm not stating you have it, but it's damn close.
You should be able to set your SPECIAL, walk out of Vault 111, and play the game from beginning to end without a single perk selection and the base weapons the game provides at level. It won't be easy, but it can be done.
Can't see this as ruining the RPG. Makes it 100x better because I'll say this until it sinks in: stop letting nostalgia make you forget how godawful older RPGs were. The idiotic random fight, the grinding, and worst of all, the micromanagement of skills, classes, and attributes that took away from the game than added to it.
If I wanted to micromanage, I'd balance my freaking checkbook. Wait a second. I don't have a checkbook because something called "internet banking" made my life easier like Bethesda made RPGs easier.
*snap