SKYRIM MORNING HERALD
Special Financial Report
As the shadow of financial claps looms over Skyrim, Media outlets across Skyrim are coming forward and are revealing the magnitude of the sandal.
The front page of ~THE TAMRIEL TIMES~ read like this QUOTE: "a dramatic drop in Luna Moth numbers" & "they are being targeted by invisible, healthy, light armored alchemists"
Potions today reached the new record price of 500septims just for a minor healing potion.
The Skyrim Stock Market collapsed again for the third day strait, as Jarls & Thanes rushed to sell there shares.
It has been rumored that they are investing there shares in a more respectable offshore Panama-based service provider called Mossack Fonseca
A spokes man for the Skyrim Treasury said: "Its not our fault we took such drastic measures by banning wing plucking, people where complaining, and animal rights groups where about to get involved in the case."
continuing he said: "Its the greedy Alchemist Corporation that has failed to show any compassion to its heavy users & potion addicted customers by jacking up the price, if you want to place any blame, they have caused this financial chaos"
In other related news Pro Ban Wing Plucking Supporters clashed yesterday with members of the greedy Alchemist Corporation in Solitude. Angelina's Aromatics was burnt to the ground in retaliation for her over priced potions & for selling butterfly wings under the counter. Due to the Civil unrest across Skyrim, it can now be revealed form leaked footage from the Pentagon on Wiki Leaks that there has been a steady build up of Military Forces along the Imperial & Stormcloack borders & that its only a mater of time before this breaks out into the second Skyrim Civil War!
TOMORROW
Living with Poverty: How to skin a Horker and make the perfect Horker stew!