I say go for it. The only people whos opinions you should care about on the matter are her parents, yours, and her own (the last being the big one). Everything else... meh...

Do it, I would.

I don't see what the big deal is. My parents are 5 years apart and they got together when my dad was a sophomore in high school.

Wha? My boyfriend and I are almost exactly two years apart and we've never, ever really had a noticeable difference in maturity or anything. He's 22 and I'm 20; when we got crushes on each other, I was 17 and he was 19, and when we began dating, I was 18, and he was 20. But I guess results will vary.

If everyone is okay with it, why not? 3 years is okay at that point. It would just be tough if the fact that she has over a year of high school left bothers you.

Step 1. Double-check consent laws in wherever you are. Make sure that either she's at consenting age or your ages are close enough for an exception. If neither is true, tell her you'd want to wait until she was at consenting age or something.

Step 2: your 19, this is college time. Are you looking at a long-distance relationship with this girl? Or would you be staying in the local area? If you're looking at a long-distance relationship, consider dropping the relationship.

Step 3: If you're still in the game, Just ask her out. If it doesn't work out it doesn't work out. If it does it does. Though you should take the opportunity to meet the girl's parents if you start dating her. It would probably make things easier later, assuming you don't screw up.

Was she ten or twenty?

As I recall, Romeo & Juliet Law is between 16 and 18. OP is 19, so if I am right, R&J won't apply.

Then again, he said he's not looking for the physical relationship yet. There are ways around it. If parents consent for her, it's legit.
Stranger things have happened.

Legal in Norway :shrug:

I don't really care about age gaps, but a 16 year old and a 19 year old are at different stages in life, I can't see myself with someone that young as a 20 year old myself.

Right, I don't get why people are going on about consent -- consent to talk to her, get to know her? Paranoia much?

Go out and spend time with her if you like her and have a good time. If something becomes of it, it does. If not, you had a good time and maybe made a friend.

It's only 3 years, and 16 and 19 isn't that far off. So if you like her, why not? Though I'd be annoyed if a friend guised as me and made such a bold statement without my knowing. It's something she should hear from you in person, not over facebook and especially not from someone pretending to be you!

Agreed.

Haha, this is reassuringly scientific.

Go for it!

Unless she's immature for her age and you are not, the gap between 16 and 19 is not that big.

Maybe she's mature for her age and he's immature for his. They could meet in the middle.

Not a big deal to me, it's very common here. I have 22 year old friends who live with 17 year olds in their own appartments, the girls still going to school.

That's also possible.


A bit like how I am 20 but look like 17. Nobody would even look twice.

I've looked 18 and above since I was 15. It has it's ups and downs.
I could get into bars at an early age, which was fun. But I also had a lot of kids asking me to buy them cigarettes outside of stores, which was less fun since I got angry looks when I told them I wouldnt.

I'd say go for it. If your friends are anything like mine, you'll probably get ribbed for it but it'll only be harmless jokes (my friend is with someone who is a few years younger than him - he knew we were just mucking about and we always made her feel welcome). All I'd say is that for me at least, I changed a lot from about 16 onwards, so chances are you'll either grow together or grow apart. Doesn't mean the relationship is doomed from the start though.

It is about how you feel comfortable with it or not. I suggest you not, but it's your choice.

Uhh well I was sixteen when I started dating my current boyfriend, whom of which was 26 at the time. That's all I have to say.
(If we got through it, you can. Your difference is a lot less!)

Just an update. Since my last post I have talked to said girl and have decided to move things forward. I told her that it was my friend who actually talked to her, but at the same time told her that what he said wasn't exactly false. She seemed pretty happy about this, which was pretty good for me. I did tell her that if this was going to work that I need to talk to the parents, and soon. I am planning on meeting her outside of school when she gets out and walking her to her house. While her mother won't be home at this time, the father will, and he is the one that I am worried about. Hopefully if I am just straight-forward and honest everything will work out ok. If not, I'll figure that out when it comes to that. Wish me luck. If you hear any news reports about a young man dying of a shotgun wound to the chest out of PA, it was a pleasure to know you all.
. . .

Well first of you are more imature than she is in MOST cases. Not all the times, but generally girls are way more mature than boys. So you being 19 (or did you say 20) and her being 16 she is a bit more mature than your or are about on equalle footing. I always say in most times, a male should have a wife about 5-7 years younger just for that maturity factor. I am not saying it will not work, I am just saying the girl will be more mature in most cases.

As for being legal, why would you say that? Is some places age of consent is 14, but that still doesn't make it right. So not sure why you would bring this part up.

If you are interested in her, just ask her out. Talking through Facebook is not talking to her and will only fail. If this is your only way of communication, then I can understand but to say this is how you talk, in most cases it is doomed for failure. People talk when in the same room, side by side looking at eachothers eyes. How are you really "talking" when you leave a message and she leaves a message.

As I said if you are really interested in her, as her out before it's too late. Then you may miss your chance. Just because she is "16" doesn't mean she is less mature, as I said before, she maybe more mature than you. Going out after the first, second or third date, you will see if she is mature enough for you. You seem like you got a bright chip on your shoulder so I say ask her out and enjoy your time with her and as someone already has said, abastain from six. This way you will know if you really like her or not and if she likes you or not.

*edit* just saw your last post, how I missed it, not sure. You are doing the right thing. This is a first that I have read anyone asking the parents first just to have a date with a girl. This hasn't been done in ages. I know I have never done this, but I see how you are respecting her and her parents by doing the way you are doing it. Good for you.

Good luck and yes it was good knowing you the few minutes I have been reading this post. :foodndrink:

Serious though good luck for the both of you.

Chances are it's going to be alright. Usually the father is a little more protective of his little girl, but if you show him that you treat his daughter right he will grow on you over time.

I've been dating a girl for almost three months now, she's 19 and I'm 24, but there are no age issues at all. We're both being very serious about our relationship and I treat her with the respect and care she deserves, and since this is her first relationship where a guy actually is serious about it instead of just partying and drinking, her mother has accepted me almost instantly. The mother's boyfriend (her parents are divorced) is a little harder to convince, but I don't really care about that. He's just stubborn and a more difficult person in general, but that's his problem, not mine. I'm with his stepdaughter, whether he likes it or not, and I'm not going to leave her if he doesn't want me to be with her. That's a decision we would make together, without parental interference. Treat her right and nobody can criticize you for being with her, not even the father.

Heh, good luck!

Good luck

Well, I've only ever dated younger girls (although only like a year or two younger) , and I don't see what the problem is as long they're mature. There are people with decades between each other and have a perfectly healthy relationship, 3 years means nothing. It may look strange in high-school or college, but later on it's not a big deal.