Haven't written anything in a long time, but let me know what you think:

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I hate the world today.

Today's the day that old bag we call the overseer decided we all had to leave our homes. Thats all well and good for him I suppose, but I've never left the habitation zone of the vault. I swear my eyes almost caught fire thanks to that big bright thing ink the sky hit my skin - why would anyone want to live in that when we can live back in our quarters with adjustable lighting - you can't even turn the damn thing off if you want to take a nap - it only goes off once a day, and back on once a day, its ridiculous, completely uncivilised.

The outside is just an insane, ridiculous place. The Air doesn't smell right, its neither the clear air in the sterile sections or the scented options that each quarters allows - it smells more like the bathroom. Does the outside even have an environmental management system? Even if it did, would it even work properly in a room this big? Just to give you an idea the Ceiling is so high, well, I guess if you took 100 vaults and took out all the seperate levels you still wouldn't have an idea as to how big this room is - its completely inefficient! Why would anyone make a room this big, just to make more smaller rooms in?

Oh, and it leaks, and when it leaks it leaks heavily. Before they let me back into the vault the ceiling changed colour and seemed to come down a bit. Shortly after that I was caught in what was just like a shower, except it was cold!

I don't care what everyone else does. I'm not leaving the vault, no matter what kind of fancy plans they make for this "City". The vault is nicer, more comfortable, and just better than this outside place, and the old bag can go to hell.

It was a very nice and short read. I liked the perspective of the vault dweller and how he thought that outside was just a big room, only two things I noticed.

1.) .

I would seriously think about re writing that sentence.

2.) You capitalize random things; Air, Ceiling...

Just those two things, small things...

So keep up the good work, it's very entertaining... :thumbsup:

Very nice. (by the way is that vault: Vault 8 ?)

Although I had Vault 8 in my head when I got the original idea, its just supposed to be generic (Any vault with at least 1 GECK that is sealed long enough for a teenager or young advlt to not know the outside world, but short enough so that the oldest inhabitants do).

ok