Vault 315 a small vault built for 1 man no one else it plays nursery rhymes every 20 minutes, It was built to check how long sanity lasted






Date July 4th 2077

Well i got into a vault but its weird when i came in the door sealed by it self .............Its dark and little bo peeps playing. Ive been here for 20 minutes im scared cold and hungry. I'm going to explore

Date August 29th 2077

Its been awhile my little holotape diary, Ive found a room full of childrens toys, another full of advlt toys, a library, a bedroom , bathroom, Ive also found a ham radio im going to get out one way or another

Distress Signal

Hello my name is Mike Haden i was accepted into a vault 315 but its hell i cant get out please send help -Muffled my coughs and crys- if you hear this honey i love you why did i come WHY GOD WHY!

I was a story maker at another community. My career (Not an author....) of making kinds of nuclear armagetton of this guy named "Marble", but I started with a kind of diary like this. Good work! Hope you make more!








~ First post!

criticism:

It doesn't matter if it's somebody's journal; its its a fanfic, it needs grammar and punctuation.

It is ridiculously short. It is 2 short entries and a short distress call. In summary, its too short.

How did the original one-hundred-forty-something vaults become over 300?

When you said ham radio, i imagined somebody pressing a ham against their head. HAM radio. Capitals when abbreviating.

Overall, it gets a fail.

Tay the vault number 315 is my dead sisters bday i wanted to put that for that reason

and i have a learning disability pardon me for making mistakes im human

^^^^^^^^

How was tayroc meant to know about the personal significance of your vault number, you realy dont need to be so defenceive and snappy on here bro and as for learning disabilities and grammer/ spelling mistakes, that is no excuse. I myself only speak english as a second language and suffer from dysbraxia ( anyone who calls me dyslexic gets a punch ) its not realy something to hide behind, just type your posts in on microsoft word, this clears up most errors.

my grade: D- im afraid. I felt no empathy for the protaganist, it was un-original, poorly written and short. Get some practice and try again.

Hint: get some experience in RPs before atempting your own project.

armagetton - armageddon

your second sentence makes no sense. Can we get a compulsory litaracy test that you have to take before entering this part of the forum or something, it gets quite annoying to read.