So I started a new character (meet my http://t.co/MBpvCpFEI6), and got to do all of that "escape from Helgen" stuff again...
And after killing the Frostbite Spiders, Hadvar says "What's next, giant snakes?"
After putting 700+ hours in the game, I now know this:
THERE
ARE
NO
GIANT
SNAKES
WHYYYYYY ;x; I was LIED TO! Shame on you Bethesda, foreshadowing something in the first 45 mins of the game that never happens whyyyyy! ;x;
Spoiler