So I started a new character (meet my http://t.co/MBpvCpFEI6), and got to do all of that "escape from Helgen" stuff again...

And after killing the Frostbite Spiders, Hadvar says "What's next, giant snakes?"

After putting 700+ hours in the game, I now know this:

THERE

ARE

NO

GIANT

SNAKES

WHYYYYYY ;x; I was LIED TO! Shame on you Bethesda, foreshadowing something in the first 45 mins of the game that never happens whyyyyy! ;x;