If you didn't know, the topic title is what an NPC would say in Oblivion when you tried to buy a house from them and they didn't like you enough. Besides the obvious brokenness of that in Oblivion (I just met the person and they say they don't know me enough to talk about houses, a few jokes, threats, boasts, and kind words later and I'm practically family), it just didn't make sense. Odds are that them doing their job and selling you a house is a good thing for them, either financially or otherwise. But this isn't about that. Here are a few things I would like to see change with the player housing situation in Skyrim.

1. House Payments

Anyone else find it odd that you couldn't work out some kind of payment system on houses? A decent house cost 20 grand or so, and you really have to lug around 19,999 Septims until you manage to find the last gold coin? Where in Julianos' name did you keep it all? There have been a lot of people asking for some kind of endgame money sink, and I think this is a great one. Of course, after buying the deed and doing the down payment you get to start to use the house so this opens a bunch of other stuff I will talk about later on. The main thing is how payments would work:

• Because some people won't play a character for longer than a few game months, I think it should be a weekly payment system, possibly a biweekly system.
  
• You would make a payment by going to the office and talking to the person on or before a specific date. If you do not make a payment, they will come knocking on your door in a day or too.
  
• Provided the fact that you are an adventurer, and don't really know when you will be home, you can make advance payments, or pay it off from any of the other housing offices (with an additional fee for travel expenses maybe?)
  
• If you don't pay for a few weeks, they will send some collectors to harass you. If you don't pay for another week or so, the collectors will try and repossess some of the items in your house, or take the deed back. (Any repossessed items go into a hidden storage container and upon catching up on your payments means the restoration of the objects to your home)
  
• Finally, if you stave off the collectors again, you get a bounty on your head for defaulting on your payment. Paying the bounty would relieve some of the debt, going to jail would relieve less than paying the fine, but still some.
  
• The ones in red would be a good use of Radiant Story imo.

2.A. Better Customization of Houses

I'm not talking about The Sims or anything. I'm talking about a much simpler, but more interesting approach. Provided we get the good old Move Item key (maybe even a better version!), I would like to see the option to move some little things around like Paintings and Displays. There have been many mods for Oblivion that allowed you to move an object that either couldn't rotate on it's X or Y axes (in normal people terms, can't fall down, but rotatable). For some of these, activating it would change it to an unmovable version that works properly. That way you could buy a painting of say, a horse galloping, and choose where you wanted to place it. Another big thing I know people have wanted is lights that a] are movable, and b] can be turned on and off. The main wish is the colored lanterns from Morrowind. Well how about those, torches, candles, and even candelabras, all placeable and can be turned on and off. Many of these can be achieved with a duplicate of an item and a quick script, even on Oblivion's engine. Would be nice to see it in Skyrim.

2.B. Mannequins and Displays

This ties directly into 2.A. but is enough for it's own section. Basically, a lot of people want usable displays this time around. The most common request is mannequins, similar to the ones http://www.tesnexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=2055 did. They were another one of those things for wealthy seasoned adventurers to spend their gold on. They had many different poses, styles, and values. What's more they looked good and handled damn well. Another lesser requested thing is weapon racks and wall displays for items. They could behave just like the Mannequins (basically a container that 'equips' the stuff you put into them), but for a wall or floor display. Finally you can hang Umbra over your mantle, or display an entire collection of weapons. If you were like me you grabbed any unique clothing or weapons you could grab and packed it all into your house, only to watch it explode when you walked near it. This would actually lock items to a specific spot and prevent everything flying around.

3. The moving of loot from one house to another
Just a small thing I saw in a different thread and thought I should include. Ever buy the IC shack in Oblivion, than after filling it with loot, decided to move all that stuff to your new Bruma manor? Remember what a pain in the ass it was? This would be a feature, accessed from the same offices you buy the houses from, where you pay them to hire movers to move your stuff for you. From there, through the magic of scripting, it takes every item that isn't nailed down and puts it in a chest in the home you moved it too (or multiple chests, maybe they were kind enough to organize your crap for you). I would have no problem spending a few hundred gold to not have to make 7 trips between two cities, especially if I am playing a no fast travel game.

4. Preventing RHPIESS (Random Havok Physics Induced Exploding Silverware Syndrome)
In other words, servants. Another money sink thing, how would you like to have your own butler? Or stable wench? Basically, by paying the measly sum of 20-100 Septims a week per person, you can hire people to look after things for you. They can do menial tasks such as paying your house payment out of money you keep in a chest or container, restocking your house of food and drink, and keeping things neat and orderly. Another thing would be more specific tasks you personally tell them to do such as setting the table. They will automatically take the silverware out of a container (or buy more of whatever type you currently had, provided you needed a plate and two spoons on your adventures for some reason) and place it on the table. Asking them to clean up the table will remove the silverware and put it back in the cupboard. So when a random fireball messes up your house, no more will you have to spend an hour and a half cleaning house.

5. Summary and what Radiant Story has to do with this
That's pretty much it, but think of all the additional quests you could get through Radiant Story with this stuff. Maybe the person who sold you the house is corrupt and hits you up for more money than you owe and you have to deal with them. Perhaps a servant is stealing silverware. Maybe some of your items didn't get moved when you payed to have them moved. Hell there could be a damn Parade of Homes: Skyrim Edition where NPCs come to tour your house. That is all I can think of, please give this a read and let me know what you think. I love slow days at work.

I predict a "This isn't fable" comment at some point...

That said I truly like all of your ideas. I am not particularly concerned with the customizable part, but i wouldn't be upset to see it implemented. The rest sound good to me though!

@ Above Poster: Yeah I brace for Fable comments any time the word house or romance comes up lol. I know a lot of people liked customization in Morrowind and Oblivion, I was one myself. It isn't for everyone though, many people just lunge for whatever chest is closest to the door and as they empty their inventory they wonder why the don't have a 'Move All' button

@ Below Poster: This definitely sits in the 'Additional Polish' category. I wouldn't cry if none of this were implemented, I wouldn't even be phased if Todd went on TV and made a public declaration that none of these features would ever be in a TES game, citing this thread. I'd probably laugh actually. Mainly because I will try and mod this stuff in myself if it isn't in at launch.

Sounds like fun ideas. Hope they put it in game. Can't say I would be deeply upset if they were left out though.

What?

I was talking about the people who don't like organizing houses and just throw all their gear in a chest. I was saying they probably wish there was a faster way to dump it all in, like the opposite of the Take All button when looting. Joking aside, letting us skip the quantity message by holding the Control Key while clicking on it wouldn't be frowned upon by me.

@ OP, yes, yes, and yes, and yes, and FTW.

Add hooks to anything, even children. Hang them on the wall anywhere. If they fall or are taken down, servant NPC hangs them back up... :foodndrink:

Although I hate to admit it, TES and Fable are competitors, but TES will hopefully not do any more tweaking of the UI for children now that it is rated M?
I think TES is being customized for more serious RPG gameplay, whereas Fable is fun for children.

THIS ISNT FABLE!!!!!!! though i read somewhere that fable isnt the only game where you can implement good ideas ( which i think all of yours are) lol

anything to make the house a little homier i know were supposed to be adventurers andventuring and stuff but honestly after about the first 100 hours of tes games i like to give my characters a little life of there own.

I always kept my alchemical tools at my home so after a few days adventuring and collecting materials, I would return and make some potions. Also collecting unique artifacts and named objects and placing them was always fun. Nothing like taking a break at your own home after killing some goblins and feeling like it was truly my home instead of just a permanent free bed.

Also what you said.

That's too much realism.

@ The almighty Weasel King. Yeah I think a big part of Smithing and Alchemy this time around is having to do the more refined stuff at home. I myself use the At Home Alchemy Mod, it really makes it more challenging and fun. The only problem with it is what tools you use aren't remembered so you have to reactivate them every time. Not a big deal, but annoying.

I appreciate all the support. Being a nightowl, usually the forums are fairly dead when I post my ideas.

love the ideas and hope to see them at launch or modded in.

with that said i dont think fable is compareable to to tes. with the last 2 games fable has just lost a lot of its rpg flare to me. the first one was and probably always will be the best one of its franchise to me.

I'm a console gamer so I never get to use mods :shrug:

I agree that console gamers should get better DLC probably. How about some continuing oblivion support?

Enter a tavern / your house, sit down at the table with beer/wine and a glass/mug.
(3rd person mode)
Character randomly pours a glass / sips/chugs a drink from the glass/mug / takes a bite of bread/cheese.

Number 3 made me laugh hard, mostly because it brought back memories of my first ever playthrough and of my character trudging across Cyrodiil from that poor excuse of a home in the I.C to Skingrad's Rosethorn Hall, heavily laden with as many of his possessions and with all the gear he could carry, even manually hauling some heavy item out in front of his person to help ease the encumbering burden; having to drop it and quickly gather himself for any trouble that crossed his path along the way, only to once again retrieve it from a congealed pool of muck or from a thick growth of concealing grass when the threat was finally quelled, all the while casting and stacking his lighten load, ease burden and pack mule spells and slowly emptying out his personal stock of highly potent feather potions until his consumption level was maxed and his belly was on the verge of bursting from all the pink liquid he had consumed, leaving him unable to even attempt healing or protecting himself with another potion from the onslaught of bandits who had seemingly caught word of the relocation and who came in great numbers to fight fervently for their unrightful share of his trash and treasure before they too were each left behind as lifeless corpses in the muck and grass that filled these untamed lands -- their many bodies telling a quiet tale of one man's journey between two cities -- a journey of turmoil and trial, one filled with danger and peril, leaving my character bloodied and torn and scarred forever, for between the many battles along the way he was unable to expend the magicka required to properly close his wounds for fear that without the many spells keeping him upright and mobile, his legs would eventually collapse from the strain of all he carried, freezing him in place and making him an easy target for any of the hungry wildlife out hunting for weakened prey.

About regular payments, I don't think Skyrim during a civil war has a good system of house mortgages going on.

Its only natural. After all Fable did invent houses and relationships.