I think dragon scale armour looks ok on both males & females, dragonbone plate? well..
It did look pretty good on my female redguard, but I have seen pictures with it on a male and it does look rather bulky.
But I know well not to make a male and go down the heavy armor route, as nearly all of their sets look like they're made from Blizzard.
On the topic of armour being customizable: well I thought originally that was what this whole smithing deal was about.
That'd you buy or loot your armour and then take it to a forge to either find the schematics of it (but destroy it) or customize it.
Then if you wish, you could go down the general store, buy yourself a dye and soak any of the cloth pieces of your armour to change their colour.
That or if you wanted to change the armour colour itself, you'd buy alternative materials (malachite for green etc.) and reforge it using a schematic.
In this way you could have extremely unique combinations if you had the right materials or just enough septims to purchase them.
However this little pot dream didn't come true and there is no use in hoping for something that will just be even more simplified in the next game.