So, those of you who visit my forum know that I had performed a song for my school yesterday. The song was Stephen Lynch's song for America, with "[censored] you" changed to "Screw you."

It all went over pretty well. Everyone seemed to be laughing and enjoying it; even the teachers were thoroughly enjoying it. But I guess it really offended one person.

On the bus ride home one my friends, who we shall call Sally (Two grades higher than me, being a senior), told me that some kid got offended by it. I asked her who and she said "Don't try to figure it out."

So we talked about it, and she concluded that the part that he must have found offensive was the "Our human rights record is something of note: we freed all our slaves and gave women the vote. Everyone's equal, forever, always...Unless you're one of them gays."

So, she concluded that the kid must be gay. She was overjoyed. She also informed me that he said, and I quote: "I really expected more out of Martin. I will never stand up for him again; he needs to be wiped off the face of society."

I went home and contemplated. Didn't I have a right to know who wanted me to be "Wiped off the face of society"? My conclusion, along with my family and friends' conclusion was: Yes.

So today in school I asked around. I asked if people knew who was pissed off at me, and then proceeded to explain the situation.

I had no intent of confronting this kid, I just wanted to know who it was.

At lunch I was talking with my friends and out of no where Sally walks up to me, grabs me on the shoulder and says: "I thought I told you not to say anything. What did you do? You said something, and I've got people coming up to me asking who it was. You didn't keep your mouth shut, but you're going to." Then walked away. My friend who we shall call Johnny (A junior) was a close friend of Sally and said to me: "I wouldn't listen to her. I would want to know who was pissed at me if I were in your shoes." I had already figured out by this time who it was. We shall call him Timmy (A senior, but he's in my homeroom because we're both student council).

Well, I didn't ask anyone else about it, of course, but when someone asked what that at lunch was about, I told him. I saw no reason not to. I just explained that Sally was pissed at me for trying to find out who was pissed at me because of the song I sang yesterday.

Well, nothing else happened until the bus ride. On the bus ride she gave me a lunch punch on the shoulder. When I turned around she said:

"You [censored] ass-hole. I told you yesterday not to try and figure out who it was. And what did you do? You asked a ton of people! And when I told you today at lunch to keep your mouth shut, and when people asked you what happened you told them!"

I replied saying "Sorry, I just thought I had a right to know who was pissed at me and wanted me wiped off the face of society."

"Well you must've known that by asking people it would start spreading things that he didn't want people to know about. Don't you have any common sense?"

"Not really," I replied, "I'm more book smarts than street smarts."

"There's no street smarts involved in that," She said, "My four year old sister would've had the common sense to realize what could happen. Are you telling me that you're such a [censored] idiot that my sister's smarter than you."

"I guess, I'm sorry."

"You're a liar and a big mouth is what you are. If you would've kept your fat mouth shut nothing would've happened."

"I'm sorry," I continued, "I wasn't thinking. I didn't realize that it would spread things about him that he didn't want other people to know."

"Well it did."

"And I'm sincerely sorry for that."

And with that, nothing else was said and the rest of the bus ride we were silent. I felt, and still do feel awful. I never wanted to force this kid out of the closet, I just wanted to know who hated me. I tried to post a vague apology on FaceBook which read the following:

"I know I can be stupid and not think things through. I apologize for that and for anything I've done and may do that's wrong. I wish malice toward none & peace to all. I want to be nothing but a friend. Please, next time I say or do something wrong, know that I mean no harm. If you disagree with me, let me know in a calm way. It's human nature to be willing to change if one calmly explains what is wrong. Peace out"

Sally is friends with me on FaceBook, so she might have seen it, but I realized shortly after that Timmy isn't on my friend's list, and I dare not request him as a friend after offending him and accidentally forcing him out of the closet.

I just feel awful, and have no idea what I should do. All and any help is appreciated.

EDIT: Typos

Umm just because she thinks hes gay dosent mean he is, secondly I blame the guy for getting pissed, not realising the song is a [censored] joke. I dont see any issue with what you did, you had a right to know, im just confused how that turned into some kid being gay, because you have no real proof and he could be pissed at ny part of the song if he dosent think its a joke. Honeslty how the [censored] can she somehow conclude he is gay ? And it is still her beleif, dosent make it true, if he is and he gets flak for it he can just deny it, easy.

I cant give advice because to me you havent done anything wrong unless dont feel bad is advice, if it is, dont feel bad.

:facepalm:

If he didn't want people to know, then why was he telling them about it?

Drama Queens?...

I don't know if he admitted to it, but by the way Sally was yelling at me, it sure sounded like it.

Ugh god... what it must be like to be surrounded by such stupidity. I think I would go insane. I'm going the prime directive route. Ignore the whole situation, and it will resolve itself. Just be prepared to fight off random tribesman attacks now and then and you should be good. Fend off enough of them and they will stop attacking and recognize your superior might, or get bored and go pick on the next drama [censored] thing that goes on.

While outing someone against their wishes is pretty messed up, I don't think that was your intention. The song is obviously satirical, so if someone is stupid enough to be offended that's their problem. And if he was offended by it, he should have talked to you about it in a mature, private situation and you could explain why he's being overly sensitive. You probably shouldn't have pushed the issue so much, but if he (or Sally) had been mature instead of gossiping and baiting you there never would have been a problem.

kill him :gun: make all the bad people go away :hugs: :nod:

Sally should have kept her big gossipy drama-stirring mouth shut. End of saga. She was a blabbermouth in the first place and now she got busted and is taking out on you. And you have no idea if this kid is gay or if you forced him out of any closet, but if he didn't want that info known, he also should have kept his mouth shut.

The whole thing will blow over - because it's basically stupid. To sum up: The real problem here is Sally-I-can't-keep-a-secret-blabbermouth-Jones.

Well, there's a couple of places where everything went wrong.

First, someone took a line as anti-gay, when it is the exact opposite.

Second, they vocalized it to someone whom your are friends with, but didn't discuss it with you.

Third, you concluded that this person was offended because they were gay. Since you realized that, you should have realized why your friend did not want you looking into it further, but you did so anyway, when you really shouldn't have cared what one person who misunderstood a line thinks of you.

Fourth, you didn't simply tell your friend, who clearly knows both you, and the person upset with you, that you would be happy to explain how the line is in fact pointing out the injustice of non-equal treatment of homosixuals. Or you could have at least explained this to your friend, for her to relay the information to whomever it was that was offended.

Fifth, highschool.

Ditto.

I hate when people have this deep desire to be offended that they actively seek out stuff to be offended by and end up finding it where it doesn't exist, like someone deciding to think that what someone else said (sang) in an obviously satirical song is actually his or her opinion.

The important fact about this kind of people is not whether or not they're gay, it's that they're idiots, which has absolutely nothing to do with sixual orientation.

I agree with you're points except for this. Sally concluded that he was gay, not me. And it actually never crossed my mind why she wouldn't want me to find out.

Yeah its hypocritical considering she started the chain of events, then says its NMMs fault for talking.


The funny/sad part is that the meaning he got was the exact opposite that was in the song...

This sums up all thoughts on the matter perfectly.

Ehh...I really dont see why you should feel particularly bad about your actions.

If anything, "Sally" doesnt seem like a particularly good friend if she was constantly insulting you, and if this "Timmy" didnt want people to know he was gay, then why did he make a fuss. Besides, you were singing a song, that doesnt mean that you Nesselrode agree with the lyrics in it.

Also, ""Wiped off the face of society"? God, this isnt a drama queen, this a Drama Empress, Ruler of the Drama Empire, stretching from the Sea of [censored]iness to the Plains of Whinging. They're making too much out of this.

Seriously mate, dont let it get you down. If "Timmy" took that much offense he's an idiot, as is your friend Sarah. If anything, I'd reconsider wanting to have anything to do with them.

I've never liked trying to justify other peoples actions with your own beliefs, it won't work (EX: never crossed my mind why she wouldn't want me to find out.). The fact that she explicitly stated that she didn't want you to bring it up should have led you to not bring it up if you value Sally as a friend.




That is where the problem started, but the OP could have ended it before it escalated into this. Therefore it is both their faults, not just Sally's.

This is pretty much how I felt after reading it. Albeit written much better then I would have been able to.

If he was offended that badly about it, he should have talked to you. But I can understand why he wouldn't want to, he couldn't really have talked to you about it without coming out. :shrug:

Good point, and I wasn't going to. But don't I have a right to know who got so pissed off at me? I thought about it for hours and concluded yes, especially when everyone I asked if I would be wrong to do so supported me.

Its because some people feel the need to take offence at something, not only when it disparages them, but when it so much as mentions them.

Maybe if sally thought before saying someone wanted him wiped of the face of the earth... If she didnt want him asking maybe she could have either A kept her mouth shut. Or B told him so he wouldnt ask questions...

Obviously Sally shouldn't have said anything (or said it differently) but the OP can't change how other people act. He can however change how he acts, so I don't think it is worthwhile to keep pointing the finger at Sally when that really gets nothing done.




I wouldn't consider their opinions based on morals and convictions though, if I was in there situation I would probably agree with you just because I was curious. I wouldn't say you have the right to know, you have the ability to know. Since that went against the wishes of sally she is within her right to be mad at you. This is especially true since the situation happened exactly how she didn't want it to happen.

I see no issue with how he acted, I think most people woulddo the same. It gets nothing done saying its the OPs fault because whats done is done.
All he can relly do is just ignore it.

I tried to make it right, though, didn't I?

Besides I'm sure if someone told you that someone said he wanted you wiped off the face of society, but wouldn't say who, you'd want to know, wouldn't you?

awww, i wanted to say this, NO FAIR :sadvaultboy:


i would have also added, this is one of the primary reasons i didn't interact with the other students in my schools, they were all clearly idiots

Wipe your shoulder and move on.