This is mildly depressing topic, but not really. Its about my introduction to Elder Scrolls, and the effects it had. In 2003, i was in an accident, and became quite ill. Depressed too, since weekly medical procedures had taken their toll. When I was replcaing my old copy of NWN, i saw the Morrowind box. I didnt know what it was, or who made it, or anything about it. But for soem reason, i thought it looked neat, and got it. Morrowind's huge expanse and stunning stories and peoples and places served as a constant push, so i didnt feel the pointlessness of replaying games I can beat in 30 hours. It always had something, always had more in it. And my extreme emotional state only enhanced it. I was able to put this world as a mental barrier, holding back the worst of my days. Instead, the game itself began evoking the feelings: I became terrifid of the groaning Dreugh for instance. But this was so much better than before.

This countinued. When Oblivion was delayed, I sank into depression fora while again, having placed way too much emotional investment in its coming release. But that passed in time too, and I got Oblivion, now playing both for the same reason. My life got a bit easier to handle at this point.

Now, with Skyrim announced, it'll be the third game of the series that will help thwart my still ongoing medical issues. Where once I felt cheated out of the best years of early advlthood (17 - 25 years old, appx.) I was able to find solace. When you're going through what I did, finding anything to hold on to, even trivial things, can be more help than any amount of painkillers. Im doing so much better now -- all thanks to morrowind. With that game, I was able to gain a small sense of purpose during this turmoil. The games helped me stay interested in anything at all, and I was able to stay strong during the worst of it. Its hard, really, when all you have is pain. thanks to Elder Scrolls games, I had a concrete connection to reality, to seeing more in the future, beyond the hell i was in.

I know, it may seem petty, or weird. I dotn dispute this at all. Never the less, it was able to fill a deep gap inside me when there was no way to do that in real life at the time. For this, I can never be thankful enough. My pain may keep going, but they helped me eralise that tomorrow's always another day, another chance for happyness. It even became internal encouragment to help me press on through the worst.

These games mean the world to me; i wouldnt have been stable enough to get my head together and find a relationship in real life again. And while these days those effects are smaller, it is only because of an increased confidence that my pain will end soon enough, and now i have true, real life friends helping. I hate to think of the darkness id be in had Morrowind not given me the emotional burst to press on. The games and their influence literally made my Ill advlthood something i wouldnt go back and change. it has done more for me than any therapy or medicine.

So, theres my story, of hardship and pain being pushed back by a game whos scope was all new to me. ES games will come and go, but Morrowind saved me from the worst of pains, and will always be a game of unparraleled grandeur: the hurt it took away was never again matched, and my fugue state reverted to simple dissociation over time. When i couldnt find the world around me familiar anymore, I could come to solidarity in elder scrolls.

Thank you, bethesda, and all my fellow fans whos mods and tips I used. What the games have done for me, is more than i could hope to repay, especially as i start to get healthier, however slowly. When you can enjoy yourself, even briefly, you heal much faster. ES games have been my major source of this sanity, and I hope they will continue so for a very very long time

Wow, happy to hear you're on the way up from what ever it is you're dealing with. Sometimes having a world to escape to can seriously enhance how much you can handle in the real world.

Awesome, glad to hear you're on your way up from whatever it was that had you down, good for you! I'd bet Bethesda would appreciate it.

It's definitely not weird. As the others said, it's not unusual to feel better by having a world to escape to. Some do it with music, some with art, and in your case it's the elder scrolls. Sometimes we need a little change.

I've never been in your position exactly, but a few years back I still lived in the town where I was born and grew up. I was bullied a lot in school and never had many friends in this town. I never felt suicidal, but I was very unhappy there and couldn't wait to get out of school and get out of there. So, when I finally did graduate from that school I got into uni in a new city where nobody knew me and I could start fresh. I do visit a few times a year, but I don't think I'll ever live there permanently again.

A lot of people have problems that are too big to change just like that. I'm ofcourse not saying that my problem is as bad as what you suffered because of the accident, but we all have our ways to escape and not have to think about it.

Just as a quick aside, I'm glad to see I'm not the only one of whom they found solace in these games. Morrowind more precisely. My story is very, very similar to yours wherein I shattered three of my lower vertabrae and four years on am still going through surgeries. I came from a world of artists and mods who thought themselves way too far above video games in general to even conceive of them as being more helpful than a re-alignment of chakras and a good Dostoyesvski novel. So Morrowind was kind of my saviour and my dirty little secret. Oblivion as well, and the dozens of iterations that the mods provided in gameplay.

Anyway, I just wanted to say I completely agree with the ability these games lend to escape and feel transported well after you put down the controller. The effect is profound and I'm glad to find there are more out there who feel this way. Just remember, "everything changes" is the only mantra you can count on (and the greatest cosmic irony, I suppose), so just hang in there and keep doing what you're doing. :foodndrink: cheers!

Happy holidays to you, Mouse.
I was in an accident a few years back where I temporarily lost the ability to move one of my arms, lucky my hand still worked so I had a lot of free time to play Morrowind with. :biggrin:

Cant say I've ever had the depression problem, but...

I was hit by a car a few year back, I had a paralyzed right arm for about 6 months, which stayed unuseable for about 2 years. When I was hit it was a week before Shivering Isles came out, although it was hard, I do say Shivering Isles and Oblivion certainly gave me something to do after the accident (playing with only a left hand was pretty difficult). Becuase I couldnt play properly i fell heavily into modding and although I dont play it much anymore, modding oblivion is my escape now....rather then playing in a vitual world I make my own.


If it went for Elder Scrolls I would be studying something boring like medicine at university....instead Im learning fun things programming and games design. Elder Scrolls has shaped my life.

Wowza. That was one incredibly story there Mouse. I'm sure the the good folks at Bethesda will really appreciate this if any of them get a chance to read it.
I for one am glad my favorite series of all time could have such a profound effect on someone's life. :foodndrink: Glad you're doing alright now Mousey

I'm glad that you got better, Mouse. Stories like yours are why I love games like Morrowind, games that allow you to live another life, and get away from the world for a little while. I hope you continue to get better, and Merry Christmas to you. :hugs:

Personally, I would rather play ES games than go out and party...heck, I haven't partied in 22 years!

This thread gets my personal stamp of approval. Beats the hell out of all those ridiculous polls and threads that say nothing at all currently being made.
Well done, sir.

I wish you well

Indeed, this is a very moving thread. I echo your feelings Mouse, believe me. I find that Morrowind for me, helped to salve the many losses and curveballs that life threw, that have left me homebound. That the modders and folks still support and create for it, makes it even moreso wonderful.

As nice as it is you feel better now, you need proper help. You haven't actually solved the problem, only delayed it by occupying yourself with something else. You're self medicating, not with booze or drugs, but with videogames.

I hope everything works out for you. Health is the most important thing known to man. Please be safe.

Nevermind. One big misunderstanding. :shifty: