so i just installed Project ENB followed all the installation instructions changed the ini files.... but i cant change the video memory size setting in the enblocal.ini i click on it and everything but it doesnt let me change it plz help....

You have to change it outside the game. Open the .ini file with Notepad.

where do i find the enblocal.ini at? its not in my skyrim folder or my games/skyrim either

The enblocal.ini is inside the wrapper or injector folder inside the ENB download from the enbdev website. You manually place the enblocal.ini into Your Skyrim folder and adjust it to work with Your Sytem.

The enblocal.ini should come from the ENB preset you downloaded. You either forgot to install it or it could be in the Skyrim\enbseries folder.

By default, Windows hides the extensions of known file formats. So you should see just "enblocal" file, without the .ini extension, and it should open with Notepad.