they watered down my spellmaking and im giving it a chance,
They didn't water down spellmaking. They removed that. I'm upset about that too. The thing is magic can still be effectively used in combat. So if you like a mage, at least you can still fight dragons with magic. Me? My hth character will be held to bunnies and bar fights.
There's a difference here. Magic lost spellmaking, but can still be used in combat and if you like magic you still can use a different version effectively. For hand to hand characters? The kittens get a special animation. Fantastic.
It has been said many times that it is lethal by Pete Hines. There are pictures of people using it on Bethblog so it can't be that bad.
Killing is one thing. Being able to improve and get better at killing is another. With hth not tied to a skill, and thus there being no perks for it, the last hope for it is stamina. What's horrible about that you ask? How can I get better at punching by punching, when I have to level other skills up just so my character can level up so I can put points into stamina, and not be upset?