My first fan-fic, based around the Outcasts of the Capital Wasteland. This is just the prologue, I am working on Chapter 1 and will post it tomorrow/Sunday.

Hope you enjoy! Please comment!

Faith


Prologue


“Why? Why abandon the Brotherhood?”
“I think that is harsh. We have not abandoned them!”
As Casdin and Lyons faced each other, the soldiers who were on their respective sides growled at each other across the courtyard.
“You are a disgrace.” Snarled Casdin.
“Because we help people? Because we care?!” Retorted Lyons.
“Aye. Our goal was to acquire technology, you have deserted the Way of the Steel!’
“Then you are truly blinded. I cannot help you.” Whispered Lyons sadly.
“Then we shall leave. We shall no longer suffer this ... this ... disgrace!”
“I have no choice. You shall be branded Outcasts. Your names stricken from the Codex! I want you and your rebels gone by nightfall!” Declared Lyons. Then quieter, so only Casdin and a near few heard him; “I am truly sorry my friend. But you left me no choice.”
“Goodbye. Any who want to stay with these insurgents you are welcome. Those with true hearts of steel. Follow. The road may be treacherous and long, but with true courage we shall complete our goal. Unlike these excuses for soldiers.” He added, spitting in the Brotherhood’s direction.
A battle almost broke out there. Hands reached for the stock of guns. Arms rose. `Fingers tightened on triggers. It was only the command that the two leaders and former friends had over their troops that stopped the brutal slaughter.
“Come.” Casdin commanded, walking out of the Citadel doors. As we entered the Wasteland, I looked back at the Citadel for the final time...

The italics make it kinda hard to read. Well for me.

Dude this is good.. Although I don't like the point of view from an Outcast, even the prologue was good. Keep going!

Aye. I'm assuming it was a flashback but you could go easy on the italics a bit. Decent prologue, I look forward to more.

Thanks guys, I was doing it in italics because it was a flashback. Will have more soon!

More please!

Here is the new chapter. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1 - Adversaries

That was years ago now. I had rose through the ranks since that day. From a measly private on the day of the cataclysm, to a protector, equal in rank to the great Casdin himself. We had stayed true to the true goal, collecting technology to learn the secrets of pre-war civilisation. I was proud to serve him in this noble aim. It was right.
I suppose I should tell you about myself. My name is Jason Frade, I’m 29 at the time of writing, and am around 6 foot 4 inches, taller than most of my friends. I have mid-length, dark brown hair, with piercing blue eyes. I am well-built, no fat, all muscle. I am honest, trustworthy and will always help those I care for.
I was patrolling the North-Eastern part of the aptly named Capital Wasteland. A voice filled with static cut through my reminiscing; “Three bogies at 3 o’clock, sir!” I raised my rifle, a beauty of gun, perfectly balanced and customised to fit me flawlessly.
“Roger that.” I replied, scanning my 4-man squad. There was me, Jason, the leader of of motley group, Frank, the big-guns specialist, starting up his mini-gun, Carl, the sharpshooter, raising his sniper rifle to his eye, and finally Daniel, the jack-of-all trades in the group. They were my friends, I would die for them knowing that they would do the same for me.
“Any idea what it is?” Asked Frank.
“Negative,” replied Carl, “I can see it, but I dunno what it is.”
“Well, we’ll just have to find out then won’t we?” I asked my squad, laughing.
As we approached the site where Carl had spotted the enemies, I signaled to my squad to hold weapons at the ready and prepare for battle. As I advanced and cautiously peered around a clump of rocks obstructing our view, I spotted the three men.
“Enclave” I whispered to my squad. “Damn!”
“What do we do, sir?” Asked Frank.
“I’ll tell you what we do. Me and Daniel will attack from over there,” I replied, pointing to a nearby rock,”You, Frank, and Carl can attack from here when you get my signal.”
I saw Frank and Carl take their positions, aiming at the Enclave troops. Me and Daniel scurried to the nearby shelter of the rock.
“Right, be aware that they might have reinforcements near here, give a shout if you see any.”
“Sir!”
I drew a breath, deciding if the moment was right. It was. I rolled out from behind my cover, my finger tightening on the trigger of my rifle a I homed in on an Enclave trooper. I was aware of whine of Frank’s mini-gun, and the crack of Carl’s sniper. But this one was mine. The crystal in my gun turned the ammo from the micro fusion cell in to a deadly beam of red light. The light hit the trooper in the throat and he fell, dead, to the floor.
“Yeah! Nice shot sir!” I heard Carl exclaim.
I nodded at him, “Thanks, and from a sniper like yourself, that means a lot.”
As we were celebrating, I noticed Daniel was missing. “Daniel!” I shouted, “Where the hell are you?”
There was no response to my question. I had a feeling in my gut that something was wrong, the other two picked up on it.
“Come on, sir. He’s probably fell over!” Assured Carl, “we’ll go and look for him now.”
As my two friends and comrades advanced up the hill, I could see their hands tightening on weapons. So they aren’t as confident as they say...
As they rounded the rock and nothing happened, I relaxed.
“Is he there?” I yelled.
“Negative, sir!” Responded Frank, sounded confused.
“Come back down here and we’ll look around then.”
As they turned back towards me two balls of green plasma sped through the air behind them. The first hit Carl in the back, cutting of his scream and reducing him to a pile of glowing goo. The second ball grazed Frank’s shoulder, causing him to drop to the floor. He rolled up again right away and began firing his gun in to the hidden enemy. A ball of plasma hit him in the leg, causing him to drop to one knee, but he continued to fire. Two more balls hit him in the chest, causing him to drop his gun and scream in pain. A single shot to the head finished of my friend.
I had stood shell-shocked throughout the entire battle, but now, seeing Frank’s body lying there, I snapped.
I ran towards the rock, screaming my friends names as a battle-cry, “Carl! Frank!”
As I rounded the rock, I saw a glint of light out of the corner of my eye. Power armour. The Brotherhood. I saw them pointing at me, and thought that they were laughing and my pain and suffering. “[Censored]! You killed them! You [Censored]!” I began firing my rifle in their direction, intent on killing these scum.
A noise from behind stooped me. Wait, I thought, the plasma didn’t come from their direction!
Too late, I realised that they had been pointing behind me, not at me.
A hissing sound. Blackness claimed me.

So should I carry on? Make a Chapter 2?

Its good, kinda cliche, but if you put some twists on it, it would be very good, and break up into paragraphs, its kinda hard to read when its big like that.

The other thing, but this is more of a criticism about the story itself, that if your soldiers are wearing power armor, your kinda making it out to be a bit weak, but this is probably more the fault of the game itself, cause its very weak in game. Power Armor is very resilient, and even though plasma and lasers would probably be the best counters, theres no way they could kill as fast as you described.

Other than that, I like the story.

Thanks, I will break them up more and add twists

Second chapter. Typed it just now. Please leave comments to help me improve. Thanks!

Chapter 2 - Aftermath

I slowly rose from my slumber, wondering what had happened.

"Wah...." I mumbled, still half unconscious. Then it came back.

Carl's disintegrating body, Frank, valiantly fighting on. They can't be gone... They just can't! Before I broke down completely I was interrupted.

"Ahh, you're awake ... Excellent. We shall proceed!" The voice came from behind me, I turned to look at the speaker, only to find my body strapped down to an operating table.
"Who the hell are you?" I asked, rather calmly for the situation I found myself in.
"My name is immaterial, it is you who matter, my Outcast friend."
A ball of dread formed in my stomach, it consumed me whole when I heard the next sentence; "Ah, we shall try this injection first, maybe a few others if you survive it! Ha ha!"

I thought that my armour would protect me, but I realised that I was no longer wearing it, just as a large needle came in to view, followed by a bald, aging man. As the needle pricked my arm, mercifully, I passed out.

I woke up again, but this time to the sound of a siren. Wonder what's happening? Maybe someone else broke out?" I raised my arm to scratch my face. Then it hit me. I can move! I swung my legs of the table and sat up. I looked around the room. It had the table, a sink and a first aid box on the wall. No armour then... I pushed myself of the table and stood up, only to be hit by a wave of dizziness. I grabbed the table for support, and waited for it to pass. I walked to the door and put my ear to it. I could hear faint gunfire and screams.

I decided to search the first aid box to see if there was anything there of use. Hmm... I could use that... I thought, picking up a few syringes of Med-X and some Stimpacks. I placed them in the only place I could. I must have looked hilarious standing there, stuffing Med-X and Stimpacks down the front of my underwear.

Just as I finished emptying the first aid box, the door burst out, and an Enclave trooper fell through the door, a hole appearing in his head. I quickly hid behind the table, incase whatever had mutilated the soldier was still there.

After a few minutes of hiding, I cautiously poked my head above the table and scanned the empty corridor. Nothing, it's clear... I quickly moved to the door, crouching to provide a smaller target to any enemies that might be around. I reached the door safely, and decided to search the Enclave officer for equipment.

I stood in the corridor, an Enclave cap pulled down low over my face to conceal my identity, and a high-tech plasma pistol clutched in my hand. I peered around the corner at the end of the corridor, and saw a full-blown firefight between a dozen men ahead. There were loose plasma balls flying everywhere, melting lights, and burning walls. No-one looked in my direction, all of them concentrating on saving their own hides.

I slowly walked down the corridor, homing in on the Enclave. I didn't know who they were fighting, but an enemy of my enemy is my friend, or so I assumed. The soldiers at the back of the group nodded to acknowledge me, and then returned their focus back on to the battle. I slowly raised my pistol and aimed at the back of an Enclave officer. Taking a firmer grip on the pistol, I fired.

As the heard the screams of their dying comrade, the rest of the group spun around to face me, weapons raised. I had already loosed of two more shots in that time, both of them hitting their targets and killing on impact. As they fired their first few shots, I dived in to a doorway which offered temporary protection.

I poked my head out of the doorway, expecting to get my head blown off, but the remaining troops lay on the floor, not breathing. The people they were fighting at the start must have finished them off. I went out to meet them, my hands raised. Indistinct shapes swirled in the smoke of the battle.

"Freeze! Put your gun on the floor!" The order was shouted through the smoke.

I halted, realised my mistake, I was wearing an Enclave uniform, of course they would be suspicious. I dropped my gun and kicked it into the smoke.

"I'm not Enclave! They captured me, I'm on your side!" I called back to the figures.

"Ok, stay there!"

Shapes in the smoke changed, and then formed in to a familiar shape.

I gasped.

"You!"

Nice twist. :goodjob: Your story is certainly getting good.

Thanks, I am working on the 4th chapter now. I have a notebook filled with ideas and characters
Thank god there are no more exams now!

Haha, thats good, I need to get more organized with my fan-fic, have you read it? Its right below yours

I just read it them, it's good. I like the prologue, it seems promising.

The only reason I am going so fast is because I just got my laptop and am always on it, so it helps pass the time

Chapter 3. As a;ways. leave comments please!

Chapter 3 - Unlikely Allies

"You know me?" Came the reply over power armour speakers. Brother power armour. Traitor power armour.

I was staring at him, "You're part of the Brotherhood?"

"Affirmative, civilian, and you are...?"

Instinct kicked in, "Protector Jason Fraide of The Brotherhood of Stele Outcasts, Rank number 13425." Horror sunk in as I realised what I had just told him.

"Not a civilian? An Outcast, hey? Why shouldn't I disintegrate you right now?"

My pride made me respond, "Because I just saved you butt? Maybe that's a good reason?"

He laughed, "I was only joking, I had my suspicions that they had an Outcast here, I found you armour in a room back there. You want me to take you to it?"

I nodded in the affirmative, and he set of back down the corridor, in to the smoke. WOndering if it was the right choice, I followed. As we walked through the dead and the dying, I glanced over them, and then asked my unlikely saviour his name.

"I'm Samuel, Samuel Gilde."

"Nice to meet you Sam. So how did you escape your cell?"

"I jumped the doctor, he had a key. They didn't search me thoroughly enough. I always keep a combat knife in my underwear. Mad scientists always leave you in only your underwear." He winked at me, I laughed.

We had reached the storage room, lying, discarded, on the floor was my armour and my beloved rifle. I quickly bent down to examine them for damage. They seemed alright, but I wouldn't know until I had time to strip them down, and I wouldn't be able to do that anytime soon. I suited up and walked back in to the corridor.

"I'm ready. Do you know where we go next?"

"Yeah, I saw a plan in one of the rooms, we have to follow this corridor on to a larger one, and then go East until we reach a large iron door."

"Great. So we just have to walk down a corridor pack with heavily armed Enclave troops in Advanced Power Armour MKII, and then open a door we don't know the code to? I can see you thought this through." I replied, slightly sarcastically.

"We have to try. It's our only way." Was his simple reply.

I sighed, I knew he was right, but it seemed like madness. I gripped my rifle tighter and started to walk down the blood-soaked hallway.

We soon reached the large corridor Sam had talked about. We advanced forwards slowly, aware that someone could see us and we would be dead within seconds. We were in for a surprise though, the hallway was in chaos, soldier and troops running past, all of them being fired upon by the turrets and sentry bots that patrolled the area.

We stood and stared at the massacre until every last man had stopped twitching. We were amazed. We silently looked at each other and then stepped out in to the hallway. The guns instantly focused on us, but upon seeing that we were not wearing Advanced Power Armour MKIIm lost interest and when back to scanning the area.

The walk to the door seemed long, and we only had the pitiful noises of the dying to keep us company along the extensive corridor. We walked past a group of officers, it looked as if they had been cut down coming out of the mess hall, one was still alive, he was young, only looking about eighteen. I raised my rifle and put him out of the agony that he was felling.

"God speed" I muttered.

Sam had gone on ahead of me, not waiting for me to finish my deed. He stopped ahead, and I instantly raised my rifle, expecting and attack.

he had not stopped because of an imminent firefight, but because a huge iron door blocked our path.

"Is this the door do you think?" Asked Sam.

"Well, it's the only one around, so yes." I replied.

We walked up to control panel at the side of the door, and examined the display.

"It looks like the code has already been entered," I observed.

We walked back to the door and noticed something that we hadn't seen before. The door was partially open at one end. We moved towards it, ever alert for the slightest sound.

As we stepped out side, I breathed in the tainted air of the Capital Wasteland.

Freedom.

Any comments?

My review of this story in one word: Excellent-Oh and would you like to read my story, The End of Steel? I want a bit more feedback... Haha, anyway, this is an excellent story, continue when you can!

Finally, another Outcast story.

Very good, at least, I think it is. I thought mine was going to be the only one. Glad I was wrong. (It's in my sig if you haven't read it.)

Thanks, I like the Outcasts, I don't see what everyone has against them

And I have read both of yours, they are awesome! When is chapter 10 coming out, FuzzyDoom?

I'll tell you why I sometimes hate the Outcasts-They ask me if I should be banging rocks together when I'm wearing advanced power armor and I have advanced weapons! Haha, but seriously, I like them.

Outcasts = Pepsi = Chuck Norris = Awesomeness

Simple enough to understand?

Great reasoning there FuzzyDom

I'm working on chapter 4 now.

Fourth chapter. Please comment!

Chapter 4 - A Long Way From Home

We had built a crude shelter amongst the rocks that poked up everywhere. By using the Sun and landscape, Sam and I had estimated we were somewhere in the North-Western part of the Wasteland. It would be one hell of a trek back home.

I awoke at dawn, rising slowly from my first natural slumber for days. I nodded to Sam, who had taken guard duty that night.

“We got anything for breakfast?” I asked him, yawning.

“Nope, but I did see a few mole rats over there,” He replied, pointing to the South-East, “We could get some meat off them, and it’s on our path.”

We suited up in our power armour quickly, as we were both eager to get fed. I led the way, with Sam following behind me and watching our back.

There was little said between us in the hours that followed, only warnings about the landscape or possible enemies. We never did find the mole rats, so hunger gnawed at us throughout the day.

As our the Sun rose higher in the sky, we had to stop for a rest, promising to ourselves that we would carry on in a few minutes.

My head jerked up. It was dark. What..? I thought, fuzzily, then it hit me; We fell asleep! We’ve been asleep all day! I quickly jumped to my feet, expecting to find myself in another Enclave prison camp. I breathed a sigh of relief, we were still were we had halted for the night. I walked over to Sam and kicked him in the side to wake him up. Instantly, I regretted my actions, he rolled over and jumped up, combat knife at my throat before he even realised what he was doing.

“Damn, Jason, don’t wake me up like that! I could had killed you!” He admonished.

“Sorry, but we’ve overslept, it’s night,” I quickly glanced up at the sky, “Around 2 in the morning to be more accurate.”

Sam swore, and started to gather up his belongings. I did the same, and we set of five minutes later, cursing ourselves for our lack of attentiveness.

We walked until well past dawn, making up for lost time, and not trusting ourselves to stay awake if we rested. I was following behind Sam, who stopped so suddenly, I almost walked in to him.

“What is it?” I whispered, tiredness forgotten.

Sam pointed ahead, I followed his finger and groaned. Super Mutants, just our luck! I quickly gripped my laser rifle, and pulled it off my back, I could see Sam doing the same thing next to me.

“I’ll take the right two, you take the left two, on three, agreed?” I whispered to him.

“Aye.” Was his simple response.

“Three..” I raised my rifle to my eye.

“Two...” I lined my sights up with the nearest mutant.

“One...” My finger tightened on the trigger.

“Now!” Two beams of deadly red light shot across the barren wastes, homing in on their two targets. An two beams found their targets, creating burn holes in the side of the mutants’ heads.

I quickly looked over a Sam’s two mutants, just in time to see the same thing happen.

“Good shooting,” I congratulated him, “Is that the last of them, do you think?”

“I think so, but lets be on the safe side and keep our weapons out.”

We proceeded to walk swiftly, but silently, across the distance between us and the dead mutants. When we reached them, Sam bent down to pick up some of their ammo, whilst I scanned the surrounding area. I could see nothing wrong with the area, so I nodded to Sam to keep walking.

As we came over a hill that was directly behind the Super Mutants’ lair, we stopped at the sight before us.

Carnage. Bodies everywhere. Some still recognisable as human. Super Mutants prowling through the corpses.

Sam and I stopped and stared. Appalled at the mass slaughter.

Then something rose out of the bodies.

Something huge. Inhuman.

Something terrifying.

Any helpful comments guys?