Well, they certainly have their own style of RPG to be sure. That is one of the reasons that I was so drawn to Morrowind when it first came out. However, going as far back as Daggerfall, their games have been pretty weak in a few areas: choices and consequences, character actions affecting the world, deep storyline and NPC narratives, ect. As opposed to Baldur's Gate or Fallout, these things have always taken a backseat to their emphasis on world-design and making you feel like you can go and do whatever you want.
When Morrowind was first released, I could forgive the lack of those things mentioned above, but it's been a long time now since that release, and they really haven't improved at all beyond that as far as I an see.
Perhaps Fallout 4 will be that change, and I think people including the OP will be delighted to at least see an effort to improve this area of gameplay, which tends to be one of the biggest complaints: the simulation vs role-playing aspects.
The RPG genre isn't as strict as a "straightjacket" as you put, but if the genre didn't follow any rules like every other genre, then what would be the game? There are goals to be met in the genre to ensure great roleplaying. So far Bethesda has hit that mark, with a few areas that need improvement, just like every other game. But if the game did become a Far Cry in a sense, it wouldn't be an RPG as we have enjoyed them up until this point.
As it is right now, we have so little information on the subject, that I'm not really worried about it. We still don't know everything about the game, especially the important parts -- choices, the ability to affect the world, and their consequences.
The OP has listed some bad points as a representation of the sum of the game itself, and it's not fair to do so at this point so early with the information we don't have about the game.