Only once! Man I got a belt across my bare [censored], and hell I deserved every one.

Oh and Betrayer of Humanity I'm behind you 100% its not the OP its the mom.

Look, I'm not against a kids getting spanked...

And I'm not gonna de-rail this thread further.

I agree mostly, just that I dont pity her, if she has problems with one kid she shouldnt punish them all for it. Besides she actually did what the whiney kid wanted by not going to the beach. Also dont blame the father, they are her kids too.


This. I did something bad I got hit, and I think I have turned out well, I dont get drunk, do drugs, fight, steal, etc.

Going to have to agree with Mamagato here. If there is one thing that can drive a parent crazy, it is constant whining. Dad also needs to act like a parent. However, YOU, fishy, need to act like an elder sibling. YOU need to be a role model, even if you don't want to. YOU need to help your parent and step-parent out when frustration begins to boil. YOU need to help them by serving them as a soft hand of the law as the eldest. It's not an easy job, and I had to be the big man often, especially when one constantly tried to butt heads, the other gets injured often, and the last one stole my stuff and tried to frame me for things. Next time your siblings begin to act up, take the initiative and calm them down.

By acting as the elder sibling, you gain the trust of your parents immensely. When AOE blame gets thrown down, by showing you are the responsible sibling, the blame net often will not hit you. Also, if you definitely show yourself to be the cool elder sibling, your younger siblings will listen to you and respect your presence. This in turn can be used to really help your parents, because YOU are the oldest and by default you have to be the most responsible.


Agreed.

I had a stepmom like that since I was 6 until I was 16, she was a psycho [censored] and on top of that I had to move to a backwater town in Texas and live with her and my inanimate vicoden popping dad. She treated me like [censored] until I eventually threw her computer at her, hitting her and stormed out. I got in all kinds of trouble but it didn't matter because it felt good and lead to a divorce at last. I have absolutely no mercy or sympathy for someone who is like that. It wasn't my fault her life svcked but she sure did act like it and tried (And mostly succeeded) in making 10 years of my life a [censored] misery. Ever since then I have been prone to outbursts of psychotic and violent rage and I was always a quiet person before that. The only thing you can do is stand up or they'll ruin your god damned life.

hmm thats very....i dont know but its not good.

this kinda reminds me of my best friends mom, shes bipolar and she gets in these manic stages where she goes crazy like that.

heres a short story to explain it.

me and my best friend drew have known each other since we were i would have to say 3 or 4 months old, our moms were friends in highschool. well when drew was about 7 his parents got divorced, and he moved to west florida while his mom stayed here. well now about 9 years later, he comes down during school vacations, like spring break, summer vacation, thanksgiving etc. well this summer his mom got in one of those stages and she wouldnt let anyone see him, not even his grandmother, and she would lie to me about it, she told me that i was a high priority on getting together and hanging out and that as soon as we could then it would be a done deal, well after talking to drew i found out that all he does all day is sit in the house while his mom sleeps or reads, when according to his mom "hes visiting his aunts and uncles" so i barely got to hangout at all this summer with the guy whose basically my brother.

so after saying that, i think that maybe your step mom has some kind of psychological disorder, or possibly high blood pressure, my dad was getting really aggressive lately and easily aggravated so we took him to the doctor and his blood pressure was 212/138 which is deadly high, so maybe she has hihg blood pressure and its making her easily irritated and really aggressive?

but final advice, confront her about it, the only way i got my dad to go to the doctor and get checked out was almost getting in a fist fight with him because he told me to shut up and i said no im not shutting up until you calm the hell down, you just have to show your concerned, state your point and stand your ground if they get hostil about it. other than that, i dont know much to say. i hope you get everything worked out man.


EDIT: and i didnt suggest to get in a fight i just said thats almost what happend with me and my dad.

I am on the fence about closing this topic. I deleted one post and its quoted responses because I don't care who you are, how you were raised advice like "Smack her in the face" is ridiculous and stupid. I'll leave this open for a bit, if you all can stay away from suggesting violent behavior as a possible solution.

I am absolutely 100 percent serious.
The OP is not her child. He is her stepchild.
Having just read that his sisters are her children, my advice still stands.

Daddd neeeds too be the disciplinarian,, yes, DISCI PLINE AIR IAN. If one parent is constantly the bad guy, it is detrimental to the parent child relationship. But he won't. It's easier for him to have her do it. Divorce has done this to him. He doesn't want his kids mad at him any more than they have to be.
It is not fair to his WIFE to constantly have to be the one remprimanding the kids and setting punishments. It is unhealthy for her, and the marriage.



It's a paren't responsibility to discipline their child. A whining, misbehaving brat is not appreciated by family, nor by other patrons of the establishment.
Part of being a parent is accepting the fact that YOU AS A PARENT, have to come down firm, piss off your kids, and teach them to behave themselves. Yes, it svcks, Yes it's hard, yes, when your kids say they hate you.
If that means canceling a beach trip, then that's what it takes.

Same here. Your Dad may be the best resource to discuss this with. I would do what you did here, write down and log your experiences, and share them with your Dad.


Daphne shows her little ass? This really sounds more like a vent of your own. It's not constructive, highly critical, and generally unhelpful. These kids are doing what kids do. They're being kids. What the stepmother does in response is patently abusive. Maybe not enough to concern Family Services, but still abusive. Anyway, parents suffer through their own stresses, as you clearly demonstrated. But this is insufficient an excuse to express those frustrations on children, especially that age. I want you to explain how a 6 year old girl adapting to a broken household is supposed to appreciate this new mother figure. And I hope you'll do so as rationally as possible.

the fishy wanderer reports similar attitude toward the father:



In this quote, I see no justified conduct from the stepmother:



These kinds of households are extremely difficult to sustain. New rules, different personalities to adapt to, baggage from previous engagements. It demands extra tolerance from everyone.

I agree, but can OP clarify, are your sisters her children, or your mothers?

Guess you have a point , about acting more like an elder sibling. I just Don't know how to be looked up to , sure I have good grades , does cross country , very nice and what not I am not sure if that is enough. Should I spend time with my sisters? Since by last log in I have talked to my dad . Sure it goes along what you agree with , sure I accept some things my dad says but a few I don't. I think I should answer this question by myself and I shouldn't run to you guys every time I have a problem. I will be going to college in a year and I can't depend on Bethesda forums to answer all my damn questions . I have to learn to grow up , done deal with this thread.


Yes please lock this thread, I need to find my own way.

Pretty sure his siblings are her kids too.
And her canceling the trip is what the whiney kid wanted, hardly calling that discipline more appeasemant.

wow, you need to learn to read. Not even going into the rest of your post, if you had read carefully later on, You'd have known that the WHINY BRATS as you call them, are the Step-moms children. Only the oldest one, the OP is the step-sibling. And no, it's not up to him to regulate his step-siblings behaivor.

Normally magmato yo uhave good advice on parenting that I agree with, but this time, you are so incredibly far off base, it's kind of scary.

Edit: Re-read your post and saw that you did realize that. So tell me, you raelly think it's the Step-dads place to discipline said step-children? You realize that never goes off very well, right?

OP, I'd just tough it out until you can get out of the house. Not going into specifics, but my actual mother was abusive, and she started off the way your step mom did. She's broken my older sisters Shoulder(Yes, as an advlt to an advlt) in anger, she was locked in a mental institution for 3 years. Your step mom sounds almost exactly like my biological mother was when she started out.

You are damn, straight, she showed her ass.
She's been allowed to get away with it.
This may surprise you, but, there are children who are quite capable of behaving themselves in public because thier parents discipline them.
Discipline does not mean beat their ass. It means, when you misbehave, you are removed from teh situation by a parent because you as an immature individual cannot control yourself.
Until you learn those control mechanisms, you will not be subject to situtions you can't handle.

As a parent, I this worked extremely well with my kids. Quibbling in teh grocery store? I abruptly took the cart to the stockperson, told them I would be back later, my kids were being n aughty, and we were going home. Then we did just that. Same for resturants. Left midmeal, paid the tab, went home and ate PBJ's.
It is a cause and effect situation. If you cause mayhem, expect the effect of being punished.

Excellent advice, actually may endear him to his stepmother, and he may see a whole new side of her.

Can a mod just lock this thread? I need solve my own problems and grow up by myself without Bethesda forums's help , (unless it's about computers I have no idea how to mod Morrowind )

Just ask her out.

Let's try this again. Removing a crying child from a situation is one thing. This is quite another. the fishy wanderer reports:



If, as you assert, "she's been allowed to get away with it," then where does the responsibility fall on this? Everything I've read in the OP comes back to how the parents are handling the children.

But where would you go for medical adivce a qualified docter ?! Dont be silly.

I fully disagree. It is not a siblings responsibility to care for younger ones. That is what being a parent is for. I will never EVER ask my older daughter to take care of my younger one, for any reason, unless she specifically volunteers to do so. It is my responsibility as a parent to take care of my children, not for my children to take care of each other.

Also, You do realize, that the OP was being blamed for the step-siblings actions, and was expected to apologize the step mother when the OP did absolutely nothing wrong? I mean, I can agree with the canceling of the trip to the beach, but then blaming the OP and wanting an apology? Thats ludicrous at best, and stupid at worst. Also, again, that Step-mom is exhibiting(at least according to the OPs description of events, which I realize could be one-sided, but given their utmost concern over his siblings, his dad, and yes, even his step-mom, I doubt are to far off) the same symptoms that my own mother exhibited when she went bat-[censored] crazy and was locked in a mental institution for 3 years. And of course, even after that she is still nuts and has broken my own step-sisters shoulder, has thrown my actual sister threw a wall, verbally abuses her husband, and all the while claims to be a wonderful caring person.

I"m sorry, but In this situation, I think your advice is quite terrible

By admitting you need to take life by the horns is the first step. While it is okay to call for help from time to time, but you ultimately need to make your own decisions. To be honestly, I never really considered myself to be that good of a role model, and for the longest time I often fought with the sister who butted heads with me often, sometimes to the point where we physically fought each other. But that was the past when we were little and I was very short tempered.

To be honest, I can't really say what you should do. Different people, different situations. Though, spending time with your siblings I find to be a good idea.

Thanks makes me feel a bit better, but there is a problem not a single mod is online! Gah I want this thread locked!

We need a mod signal. Kinda like the bat signal.

Next time they update the forums they need to add a button so when you press it it some how alerts a mod to close the topic.

<---- There's a button for that already.
It's labeled: Report.