"Stick with me, and they'll never even know your here." and "pull up a seat.... have a drink" -Delvin Mallory

I find myself pressing the R button excessivly when the guards tells me that. It's my way of rubbing one off for the gods.

I killed that annoying redguard thats always saying "do you get to the cloud district often" and was dragging his body to a corner when a guard I didn't notice turned around and just said "he probably deserved it anyway" and walked off

I like Festus Krex' ''When life gives you lemons, go kill a clown''. Also a big fan of Sheogorath's ''I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind''.

Awesome! Damned curved swords.

"I was one of the best soldiers in the Stormcloak Army, until I took a sword through the chest." Angrenor Once-Honored

How do you walk that one off?

"Let the Dragonborn do it, it will make for a better song." ~ Ulfric Stormcloak. x)

I don't remember the exact quote but there's a woman in Whiterun who says something like:

If you're looking for my husband, he's probably up the Jarl's backside.

I kept hearing that every time I passed her. It was pretty funny the first time but got old after around 6 times.

"When life gives you lemons, go kill a clown" is probably my favorite.

I downloaded a mod that allows me to wear and enchant the Greybeard robes, however the NPCs in the game act as if I am naked all of the time. Listening to the various "you're naked" quotes are funny, especially from the children.

Boys go, "NAKED! NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED!" Girls go, "EEEEW! You're naked!" and they sound so gleeful when they say it. You also get comments like, "You're not as appealing as you think you are," and, "You must be supremely confident in yourself to go around like that." Farkas' comment is probably the best though. "Um.... you're naked." Yep.

All the Dremora lord lines.

i love it when the guards say "If i find your hand in my pocket, i'm going to cut it off" and "Hands to yourself sneak-thief" and then just go and pick them clean. one of them tried to arrest me later on (part of a quest, won't get in details) in nothing but his loincloth also, almost all of Sheogorath's quotes

"I hope a dragon comes and eats you"

"I remember my early days in Skyrim, crimson on the snow"

"At least cover up your delicates. It's cold out there!" After I accidently took off my armor (I still had a helmet, boots, and bracers on, but I guess they didn't count).

This.

After you finish the DB questline and let Cicero live, he'll walk up to the Night Mothers coffin and sometimes say:

"Ugh, time to oil mothers hard to reach places"

Not word for word, but something like that. Made me chuckle.