how exactly do i use fcom? do i still use th esm/esps of the mods being combined? and where do i put the fcom esp/esms in the load order?

Start with the info in opening post of http://www.gamesas.com/index.php?/topic/1103610-relz-fcom-convergence-and-ufcom/ and go from there. Basically, you have to take the time to read/follow the install instructions there and also for the individual mods (OOO, MMM etc.), plus also learn your way around Wrye Bash if you haven't used it before. Prepare to invest some time into it if new to both FCOM and Wrye Bash. :read:

Also, post further questions in the FCOM thread.