The concept for this story was heavily inspired by the books in Morrowind and Oblivion explaining the different magical arts through short stories (ie the book "Alteration")

Since it is likely we won't be seeing Levitation in any more of the TES games (too cheap)-- I came up with an alternative for transversing obstacles.

Please be gentle I've only been writing seriously and continuosly for about three months.

*Ahem*

Geomancy

Xarxegree and Zaphimarel --two erudite personages of manifestly wizardly interest--?stood on the slope of a volcano, separated by an undulating ribbon of incandescent red. The ribbon slowly spilled forth its contents, like blood from a knife wound.

Neither of them could identify their special positioning in relation to the peak-- they knew of the other's presence only as a silhouette in a haze of impermeable grey. The vapors surrounding them were not stagnant, rather, eddied tumultuously about, as though animated by a pair of massively proportioned billows. Nothing could be heard save the torpid roar of roiling magma; nothing could be seen save an unending curtain of opaque ash; nothing could be smelled save general acridity.

Xarxegree eyed his apprentice's silhouette impatiently. His stare penetrated the fog, and Zaphimarel slumped wearily under his master's inaudible accusation of obstinacy.

"Surely you loiter so as to gather your Magicka?"" Xarxegree commented acerbically.

Zaphimarel turned away and spoke in tones of embarrassment.""That is not the matter at all master"."

"I'm sorry; I don't believe I heard you."" Xarxegree replied without humor. "Could you please repeat yourself?"

A knot ran down Zaphimarel's throat. After much hesitation and with great trepidation, he said, ""Master, take solace in the fact that under nominal circumstances I would have had absolutely no difficulty summoning an elemental bridge to help us transverse the lava flow."?"

"Speak in plain language.""

"The incantation requisite for such a conjuration eludes me at the moment. The inhalation of a certain acrid vapor native to our environment has made me very light headed."

Xarxegree frowned.

"You never fail to disappoint me, Zaphimarel. Hypothesize, if you will, that we are conducting a pilgrimage to this very mount, how would you save your fellow pilgrims, being separated thus? If I were not so skilled in the arts of geomancy, I would die by your incompetency! Prior to our journey you proclaimed to have reached an adequate level of proficiency with the scale and variety of magical arts!?You have failed me once again. Please, stand aside."

The syllables of recondite verse began to fill the air, evidently emmenating from Xarxegree's throat. Xarxegree's voice, informal, buoyant, and composed, underwent a drastic metamorphosis. The voice iterating the present incantation was resonant, savage, of a clarity crystalline. With a violent, peremptory gesticulation, a jerk of his oaken stave, an arch of solid rock connecting both sides of the lava flow was formed.

There was a brief moment of silence in which neither Xarxegree nor his apprentice spoke.

Xarxegree smiled mirthlessly. ""Behold the art of geomancy."

Edit: Oh yeah, and I wrote this tonight in about two hours.

The character's names are a little difficult to pronounce...

The first character's name is pronounced Zarksegree

Edit: Sorry for the bump I meant to make it an edit

*clap* :celebration: not bad for the first fan fiction, and erudites, another EQ fan I see

I'm impressed. As a first fic this is really great! Especially since you spent 2 full hours working on it, all the care put into it.. Great.

Thanks Zalphon.

But while erudite is a term used in EQ, it actually means "well learned". A collecter of books could be considered erudite. Here it is used to describe wizards or mages that don't primarily concern themselves with fighting.



This reception is entirely not what I had in mind!

I'm primarily a reader! Thanks guys.

its pretty good then again I am a new writter myself. check out my fan fic I made not long ago on page 2 goris the maggot king. and you may want to think about entering the first feyfolken contest. I liked it keep up the good work.

Wow, somebody's either a massive fibber or extremely modest.
That was a beautiful chunk of writing.
More please?

Indeed, the sheer level of words borders on poetry. And that second describing paragraph was nothing but. I liked the usage of character, what with the master and apprentice, and I assume there is nothing else? If so then you would have to do some work on characters, but if not then that is just fine. Being it is a short story I have less to critique; only prose, flow, and grammar really. And all of those were excellent. Good work, thank you for writing it :goodjob:

I'm going to have to second Ghostpaw's comment. This was absolutely fantastic! The writing was beautiful, clear, and brilliant. I hope this is a lead in to a second chapter?! Please? Pretty please?

I've never shared my writing with anyone (I'd estimate about 200 pages all in all), so I had no idea what to expect. Glad to see there are so many people out there who like my writing! My parents certainly don't understand it.



Well I'm quite an obsessive reader... Frankly, I don't find as much pleasure in writing. Mainly, I think, because I have noone to share my work with. Neither of my parents have had even a passing acquaintance with literature of this sort, and I live in a very small town... I think forums are my best bet.



In regard to a follow up story... I'm sorry but I didn't have any other plans for these two characters than other than this... I just sort of wrote it for fun. Maybe... I didn't really think my work would be praised... at all.

But this morning I did write something about a magician's quarters (not connected to anything-- more of a prose poem really). I'm thinking about posting it.

DUDE! You're clearly talented, I know I'd definitely like to read more of your stuff, especially if it's the same calibur as the taste we've gotten here.

Quite the vocabulary you have, eh? Very nice, very nice. That said, I can't post without making some sort of criticism, so I'd like to point out that I find your usage of double quotation marks in some places curious.

Formatting error on the boards I suppose. I copy and pasted it straight from word. Maybe that had something to do with it. I just noticed it myself. I'm going to edit it now, so noone else is confused.



My teachers at school have told me to tone it down... I hope you don't find it off putting. I like how words with a Latin (as opposed to anglo saxon) origin sound. I think vocabulary of this sort is a relatively neglected part of writing now adays. Your username is Ambrose... If this is a reference to Ambrose Bierce you probobaly don't have a problem with it. :spotted owl:

Thanks for all of your praise. I was getting a little discouraged from the lack of support I was recieving at home.

I am going to post a descriptive passage from a short story I am currently working on later (after some revisioning). Are the moderators opposed to snippets?

Not really, though it would serve well to post them here. A completely new thread seems kind of pointless :shrug: Especially when both are so short. That said, I enjoy reading it, but I prefer longer stories with plot and character to short ones with great prose and form. So I'd love to critique a longer story from you

Also, check out the forum in my signature. We are having a short story contest you might be interested in. Three thousand word limit, I think that'd be right up your alley.

Honestly? Didnt like it.

Why? It just seemed like you use te thesaurus tool alot. There where some words in there which may have one meaning but only fit in a sentance of a certain context.

I'll wait for more before I judge completely though.

I dont use a thesaurus while I write.

My vocabulary is just large.



Like? I never use a word just to use it. It has to fit contextually.

I am going to post some stuff from the short story I'm working on later-- its not as vocabulary laden.

Very well done, my friend. You have opened my eyes to yet another form of magic. This is now considered a good piece of lore in my book. I hope you have more to come.

But yeah I liked it. If I was one of your parents I'd be very proud actually. Please keep doing it.

Still with that said I would turn down the complicated words a little. It is impressive but a little too much may put people off. But still yeah it's good stuff.

Hey I don't think we should start potential arguments in someone elses thread.

Guys, seriously, I think you all should ease up on Emperor. He told you all to be gentle in the subtitle of this topic.

But in future posts, emperor, I would love to see how one would work the threads of magicka to change the land. I hope you can show me.

I agree with Solidor and Tayroc. About plot-revealing, though....It's perfectly ok to wait a few chapters before you get into plot.

At Venicus: Just because a person tells you to be gentle, doesn't mean you should. Honesty is the key to improvment.

I said it in another thread and I'll say it here too. Being honest doesn't mean you have to be a dike. The guy clearly put a lot of time and effort into the work. So what if it's short, Calling it [censored] was unnecessary and damaging, not constructive at all. People on here could really stand to learn some manners.

You're going to have to take that up with Tayroc. But putting a load of pretty words into something doesn't make it great. The first part wasn't bad, mind you, but it seems to rely far too much on fancy lingo.

Like Verlox said. Thats something you will have to take upwith Tayroc. I didnt like the way it was written and the sheer amount of vocabulay involved in the story. I am staying open minded about it though. If the vocab is toned down and some substanceis added to the characters some time i'll admit, i will probably end up liking it. But that wont stop mefrom giving the characters nickames. Sorry but i just cant pronounce them

I thought the point of descriptive writing was to use a "load of pretty words." I say the OP makes a great intro and setup for am awesome story. Obviously it's not complete, but that doesn't make it bad. There's a lot of potential here if yall don't scare the author off with your smug attitudes.