For our Good Lord Sithis

"But is silence not the symphony of death? The orchestration of Sithis himself!"
-Lucien Lachance






Intro:

2E 359 Frostfall.....

A large dagger was pressed against the neck of the grandmaster, the cold steel sent chills down his spine. How could he be so careless? How could he let this happen? He reflected on the past few hours and remebered how he had been dragged out of bed in the middle of the night, and how his most trusted apprentice was now holding a steel dagger up to his neck. It was now over for him, he weeped quitely..... not just for himself but for the future of the guild. He had been a fool to let just anyone be an assassin, he shouldn've foreseen the dangers of letting phycopaths join the Morag Tong.... and now he watches as his most trusted friend and apprentice was about to overthrow him as grandmaster. She stood there and laughed at the old man as he weeped to himself.

"Ha ha ha..... foolish old man, I have come here to end this mockery. You and your guild disgrace Mephala and all that she stands for!!!", said the woman as she held the dagger to his neck. Ready to slit his throat at any moment.

"Why.... why would you do this. This isn't what Mephala wants.... Please stop now." the grandmaster pleaded to the woman.

"Oh but I can tell you this is cleary what Mephala wants, She has spoke to me in my dreams and has told me that together we shall start a new order.... together we will change the definition of the word murder.", the woman preached to the old man.

"No Mephala would never do this!!!", yelled the grandmaster as tears streamed down his face. He was now in total fear as he was moments from death, he didn't want to die but he was going to.

"Aye but she would, she's whipering to me right now...... oh what's that Mephala you want to shove this dagger in his neck?", a grin grew on the womans face.

"NO STOP!!!", screamed the old man twisting and turning in his chair.

"Good bye Grandmaster..... and may Mephala have mercy on your soul!!!", the woman spat out as the Grandmaster screamed at the top of his lungs. She then plunged the dagger deep into his throat. Blood sprayed like a fountain from his neck and within minutes all of his blood was splattered on the ground....he fell over from his chair and he was no more!!!





Chapter 1: Accidently Chosen

Coming soon.....








Author's Note: Please tell if there is any lore wrong, I will say first that the Morag tong is not really destroyed just weaken and Mephala later becomes Sithis.

A common problem of too many ellipses You don't need them at every turn.

All spelling and grammar aside, it works alright as an introduction. A bit more description as to the scene would be nice, and more of what the good Grandmaster is thinking. All you've written so far is "Oh noes, the Nightmother is killing me!". It doesn't really invoke the kind of tone you need. Do some real descriptive writing, get poetic with it, and try again before you write the next chapter. Good try, the Mephala thing was... okay :shrug:

Not a bad start, but why is the Grandmaster so whimpy? Is that just my misinterpretation or what?

well i kinda got carried away cause i didn't wanna make the introduction to long. I'll be real descriptive when i write the next chapter as it will be about the main characters parents getting murder when he was a kid and how that's made him into the cowardly reck he is today.


EDIT: Okay i added some new stuff a bit more description at the end of dialouge.

Yeah kinda thats why hes killed so easily. He's afraid of what the Night mother will to the guild once he's dead and also he fears death. Most likely means he ascended to grandmaster by having the right friends in the right places.

Hmmm, good call. Weak leaders are easily replaced. You may want to elaborate on that point in your fic eventually, just a suggestion.

Also: P-S-Y-C-H-O-P-A-T-H

Sorry, that typo was bothering me

okay im starting to find this harder to maintain than i thought i think ill try a different topic but with all the details i gotta cover i feel like im writing a harry potter or lord of the rings book i think i might try something a bit easier......

Feyfolken short story contest But really, only write when you want to. You'll find that if you don't force yourself to write just to push another chapter through, your story will be much better and you'll enjoy it more.

whatever i think i might try the usual drama or mystery that focuses on one main character