Male NPC: Look at the muscles on you... :hubbahubba:
Me: AAAA! Get back you gay!

NPC: You'll die when I'm finished with you!

Me: Uh-huh.... You expect to kill me with that sharp thing you call a wangus?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
NPC: You move like a pregnant cow!

Me: I guess I better burn off some calories! MJaybe I couold do that by killing you!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
NPC: Which brother am I?

Me: Nick, Kevin or Joe? I can't decide, you're all equally ugly and stupid.

"What can Khajiit do for you?"

I didn't reply to any NPC's, but ran around the house yelling this at my cat while chasing him for some odd reason.

That's nothing compared to what I've done in my house that is weird... NOT PERVERTED, JUST WEIRD!!!

I run around saying random words that come to my head, then call my cat named Henry, "Mr. Henry" Then I drink soda and fall asleep... The next morning I wake up and can't move at all...

Plus I've called my cats Khajiit a few times...

This is from Morrowind...

Silt Strider Master - "Why walk when you can ride?" :hubbahubba:

Me - "Why talk when you can shut it?" :ahhh:

<_< I tend to make some strange replies, which i can't remember 2 seconds after <_<

NPC: "I saw a mud crab the other day. Nasty little creatures."
Me: "Nasty? They taste great and they're good for alchemical purposes."

NPC: "I saw a ghost once. It seemed to svck the life right out of me."
Me: "Sounds like you got too close to a Will-O-The-Wisp. Not a good idea. :nono: "

Guy: How about mixing up some potions.
Me: How about mixing up your death?
Guy: You look like quite the alchemist.
-
Argonian: Hey, do you have some apples?! Do you have some apples?!
Me: No...
Argonian: Oh no, oh no, oh no no no no no!!
Argonian: Ni Ni Ni Ni Ni Ni! Ni Ni Ni Ni Ni Ni Ni!!
Me: ....
-
Dark Seducer: Sorry to bother you my lord, but there seems to have a misunderstanding..
Me: But I'm SHEOGORATH, YOUR GRACE!
Dark Seducer: Of course My Lord, I would be honored to test my strength against You!
-
Haskill: My work is never done..
Me: It will be soon.
-
Nord: The bones are calling out! I can feel them! Come my babies!
Me: *Slaps him with a bone weapon.*
-
Paloniyra: You come to the Divine Elegance because you care what you wear. And Paloniyra has what you need.
Me: No.. All I wanted was to steal your stuff..
-
Imperial: Have a copy of the Black Horse Courier, it's the only way to get the real news! Feature story on the Gray Fox!
Me: Bu--
Imeprial: Sorry! Only one copy of the Black Horse Courier per customer..
-
Sheogorath: Cheese for everyone!
Me: Yay!
Sheogorath: Wait, scratch that, cheese for no one..
Me: Aww...

I've only heard this conversation maybe once or twice in all the years of playing this game...

One Guard to another: Don't forget to stop by the barracks later tonight. I'll show you the new greaves. The mithril ones. Until then...

Me: *walks away slowly* :blink: I can only imagine...

Dont be ridiculous. I havent time to talk to them, besides I write them letters and keep them under my pillow.


You lot are nuts!

We don't suffer from insanity. :nono: We enjoy every minute of it! :flamethrower: :gun: :shocking: :nuke: :lmao: :rofl:

Altmer NPC: "You're a traitor to your own race!"
Me: "I'm a Bosmer, you moron!" *kills Altmer twice*

Me: *Audibly passes gas*
Nord murauder: "Must have been the wind"


If you tell AF to wait inside the gate and then take the sigil stone, is he forever stuck in the plains of Oblivion? Or does he warp out of there with you?

I believe its You elves are all the same, all flesh and no fury

I don't know. Never tried it. I assume he would reappear outside the gate since


My response: *Casts Wizard's Fury. Mouthy NPC dies.* Me: "You were saying?"

Khajiit highwayman: "Hand it over or die!"
Me: "No. You'll have to take it from me." *paralyses highwayman and starts throwing Weak Fireball spell at him*
Khajiit highwayman: "I'm just warming up you pathetic w- uh." *dies*
Me: "Well, aren't you one for stating the obvious."

ENEMY: Am I supposed to be impressed?
ME: Nope, you're supposed to die.

ENEMY: You move like a pregnant cow!
ME: At least I don't look like one.

ENEMY: Must've been the wind.
ME: Wind can shoot arrows can it? (More like what I'm thinking on that one)

?Good one! I may just use that the next time I hear an NPC say that.




Bandit: "I'm just warming up, you pathetic worm!"

Me: "Then you need to cool off!" *kills bandit with a frost spell*

Blind Moth Priest: "Heh, I'd better cut down on the ale. I'm starting to see things, I am."
Me: :blink: That must be some seriously potent ale.

EDIT

lol! thats the best... ever...

NPC: You brought me back from Hell...

Me: ... Isn't it called "Oblivion"...? (<--- originally what i thought, first play through lol.)

kind of irritates me when he says that... It would've been twice as cool if he said "You brought me back from that Oblivion spawn!" or something... but Hell?... Lore?... nevermind...

NPC: "WHY...WON'T...YOU...DIIIEEE !?!?!"
Me: " That's your job, nimrod. My job is to make sure you do yours."


--------------------

I know what you're thinking ? "Did he fire twelve times, or only eleven ?"
Well, to tell you the truth in all this excitement, I kinda lost track myself.

But being as this is Apotheosis, the most powerful stave in Cyrodiil,
and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question:

"Do I feel lucky?"

Well, do ya, fetcher ?

NPC: What can I do for you Furlicker?
Me: OH hell naw... :stare:
*seconds later*
Guard: Stop there criminal....

Arwen from DB: *insert name of guy here* is the traitor!
Me: How well observed.

-

Dunmer Guy: Stop your pathetic attempts at small talk before i turn you to ASSHHHhhhhh
Me: Haha you have a lisp

-

Reply to Fighters Guild Orc after im master:
Looking for some work Booty McBootmeat?

NPC: You smell of death been conjuring up dead things?
Me: Ummm why are you sniffing me?

Guard: All hail the champion of cyrodiil!
Me: D*** right hail me...

Adoring Fan: By Azura by Azura....!
Me: Oh hell no!

NPC: Spare a coin for the infirm?
Me: GET A JOB YOU HOBO!!!

NPC: Looks like you've wandered into a restricted area. Please leave!
Me: Looks like you need to mind your own business ...

Random NPC: HAIL Sir Knight!
Me: Wtf you sound just like one of my Knights of the Nine.

NPC: Hello!
Me: Whats up my homie G dawg from da hood whats crackin'!?