I sometimes think it's funny to reply to things said by NPCs. Here's a few examples:

NPC: "You have quite a bounce to your step. You must be an acrobat."
Me: "Why are you watching the way I walk? Are you attracted to me, or something?"

NPC: "You have the hands of a healer."
Me: "I also have the ear of a guard. Wanna see what else I've got? :hubbahubba: "

NPC: "It's you. the Hero of Kvatch! This is truly an honor."
Me: "How did you know it was me? I don't recall seeing you at Kvatch."

NPC: "Why are you bothering me?"
Me: "Because I'm not bothering someone else yet."

Imperial Watch: "You have my ear, citizen."
Me: "Do you want it back?"

Imperial Watch: "You. I've seen your type before. You have blood on your hands."
Me: "Yep, and I believe it's yours!" *kills guard*

Imperial Watch: "What are you looking for?"
Me: "The Dark Brotherhood. Have you seen any of them around?"

Imperial Watch: "If you've got to travel, by the Nine Divines, stay on the roads. The wilderness just isn't safe anymore. We've had sightings, you see. The Daedra.."
Me: "How much do bandits bribe you to say that?"

Npc: Hello!.........

Me: (mash a button until they're done talking.)

NPC: Is there anything I can do for you?
Char: I think there are SEVERAL things you could do for me... :hubbahubba:

I know this isn't a reply i want to say but i was in the priory of the nine and just heard this

Woman KoTN: Hail Sir Knight
Redguard Kotn: You have my ear, and my sword if need be (or something long those lines)
Female: Bye

:blink:

Please, Dont let my appearance...unnerve you

No, its just that..well....ever heard of botox? or a meal?

n'wah (in morrowind ) .. dark elfs really know how to say it, hate that so my response was " il [censored] kill you ..filthy [censored] you gonna n'wah me .. i kill you!!! kill you .. filthy [censored] il kill your family to n vivec also !! "
ah good old times .. i already feel all warm and cuddly inside

Beggar: Look at the muscles on you!

ME: "GRAAAAH!" *punches beggar in the face* "thank you kind sir."

That guy at the arena bloodworks: I heard a rumor that you are an idiot!
ME: Realy?
The guy: Yeah, and....falls down!
ME: I hope you enjoyed your apple!

I have a habit of responding to NPC's praise of one of my skills with another praise that I've been hearing lately. So when they say, for instance, "Looks like you're handy with a blade," I'll sometimes mutter, "Yes, and I move well in light armor too."

And I find myself saying, "Stop talking!" a fair amount, especially to Orcs.

Probably the thing I most often say out loud though is "Piss off."

Alval Uvani: "You get any closer, and i'll turn your bones to ash, now back off!"
Me: "Piss off."

Myvryna Arano: "Aren't you an ugly one..."
Me: "Piss off."

.... and so on....

"I'm so happy to see you, I could burst!"
Me: "Please do."

"I saw a mudcrab the other day."
"Stop looking in the mirror..."

NPC: I saw a mudcrab the other day
Me: I saw an army of deadra.

NPC: You move like a pregnent cow!
Me: How agile are pregnent cows in Tamerial?

NPC: You smell of dead. Have you been practicing conjuration?
Me: No, I forgot to take a shower this morning.

I like talking to the NPCs during the Persuasion Minigame.

Me: Hey! Hey! There's an army of Stunted Scamps right behind you!
NPC:That's just not funny... HOLY MOLY!

Me:Oops, my sword is drawn.
NPC:Please, I'm embarrassed but thank you!............(Looks around and blinks)...........You're a big fat liar!

After the NPC says something I don't like I usually say [censored] you and then as I walk away they say, "You too."
And then I have to kill them :facepalm:

Ravin

NPC: "You have my ear, so let's hear it."
Me: :blink: I never knew ears make noise. Besides I can't find it anywhere in my inventory.

NPC: "You smell of death, been conjuring up dead things?"
Me: :blink: No, I never summon the undead... *checks arm pits*

NPC: "You smell of death, been conjuring up dead things?"
Me: Nope, but a little bit of necrophilia in the morning does a body good.

Ravin

NPC: "You move like a pregnant cow."

Me: "Now your not moving at all" as I step over the dead body

NPC: Leave me alone!
Me: But you have a green triangle on you!

:lmao:
Mostly I just find myself cussing out people I'm fighting. I get pretty worked up

My characters are usually girls and that stupid metalworking orc in the Shivering Isles keep coming on to me when I ask him to make me armor. I keep yelling "EW! Shut up! As if!" at the screen till he shuts up.

NPC: "Greetings."
Me: "Wuzzup dude."

NPC: "I have a feeling you and I are about to become very close!"
Me: "Ok... :blink:"

"You smell of death, been conjuring up dead things?"



One of quite many things NPC:s have never said to me. All I ever hear is about my muscles and being a healer.. Where is the other stuff...

Imperial Guard: "You have my ear, citizen."
Me: "If you don't shut I'm going to rip your ear off!"

Falanu Hlaalu: "I'm the only alchemist in Skingrad. Not much business here, but I can't go back to Morrowind. It's just like anywhere else in the Empire. By the way... do you happen to know what the fine is here in Cyrodiil for necrophilia? Just asking."

Me: "Is it the first offence?"

Falanu Hlaalu: "Let's assume 'no'."

Me: "Then it's at least 500 gold"

Falanu Hlaalu: "That's nothing compared to Morrowind. Thanks."

^ True Conversation ^]

And, when you ask other Skingrad residents about Falanu, they say "Maybe it's just me, but I find Falanu Hlaalu really odd. And I've seen him hanging around the graveyard with a strange smile on his face." YES, I said his. It was an error in the game.

Actually, Falanu Hlaalu is a male Dunmer trapped in a female body. It's Ancotar's fault. One of his experiments went wrong. Again.

You need to be good at it.