Necro-chicken, lol

I was in some bandit-riddled fort, and an old woman comes after me with a broom saying "you can't get rid of me, I come with the place!" hehehe

Heh, ya, seen that one too! =D

I saw a deer go flying past, high up. At first I thought it was a dragon. It landed far down the road. That happened to me when I took on a Giant and got wacked so hard my body went flying halfway up a mountain.
I saw a rabbit run by chased by a saber cat who screeched to a halt, turned around and came at me WHOOOAAA.

*** MINOR COMPANION QUEST SPOILERZ ***



I just had the weirdest bug.

I finished the companion quest line as one of the first things i did in Skyrim. 90 hours later in the game i returned to the Companion's base to find Vilkas and train some 2handed weapon (almost lvl 50... almost). Anyway, i enter the Hall and there is no one there. I exit though the back and Ria and Vilkas attack me. The rest just stands there. I run around not trying to do anything while suddenly Skjor comes running by in his underwear, who as we all know died during the companion's quest. He has 2 guards running after him, who try to attack him. When i talk to him he says i'm a whelp and i have much to learn. My last save was ages ago, so i reloaded the auto-save when i entered the Companion hall.

Now, instead of going outside i decided to stay inside and wait. Maybe that would solve the problem. I wait 3 hours and everyone is inside. Vilkas and Ria immediately start attacking me. Ria gets damage because of the 10% reflect chance heavy armor perk. It's only a tiny bit of damage and she runs away with her hands above her head saying that she yields. Vilkas is still swinging away. I give him one good swing with my warhammer and immediately take down about 2/3 of his health. He then sheathes his weapon and talks to me. I can do the training and i'm happy. I then exit the conversation and he talks to me again.... and again... and again... I try running away and he runs after me. In the next conversation i suddenly see underwear Skjor running circles through the Hall, followed by Ria, who is also still running in sheer terror. I left he conversation, opened the front door and ran as fast as i could. As far as i know, Vilkas isn't following me.

I was laughing the entire time, but seeing Skjor was pretty freaky.

Not having much trouble with bugs though, this was the first major one. I did feel the need to share though

Funniest thing for me so far was while escorting the Thieves Guild Leader down into that crypt on that quest line....anyway the guy is always yappin' "Is that the best you can do?" "Only someone with skill can open these doors", etc etc. He wanted me to take the lead so he could 'conserve his energy', but then he would charge past me and get pummeled by the draugr dungeonlords(?) and end up just kneeling and giving it up. He kept doing this, screwing up my stealth and tripping traps and just being annoying. So I thought, fine, no stealth? No prob. I took off in a sprint grabbed a mess of em every few rooms and then, would spin around and 'Shout' at them all. And you know in movies where they just kinda shoot backwards? Well, it was like that! Hilarious! And they are all in a pile as well at the far end of the room or down the hallway. And of course, they 'Shout' at me as well....so thief boy goes flopping back and forth as we Shout back and forth. Ah, what fun!

So I was heading over to meet an Orc for a side quest, when I see this Argonian sprinting right towards me, I decide to see what he has to say when he mentions something about a 10,000 gold reward for a bet me and Sam (from the Night to Remember quest) set for him... That alone made me laugh, as I thought I knew everything my character did on that merry night... Obviously not. I squirmed my way out of the 10,000 gold reward and gave him 750 for his troubles.

There was another time where Narfi said something like "Hey look who it is! My favorite drinking buddy!"...Which was kinda weird as it didnt sound like him and as most of us know he mainly always talks in broken down sentences.

Greatest moment: casting fury on 2 imperials assissinating the 3rd, freeing a stormcloak.

Funniest moment: freed stormcloak getting squashed by a dragon.

2 words
ice form
hands down the best shout to use on mountains
just never gets old seeing whatever (works on pretty much everything all the time) tumble down the mountain at break neck speeds

Warning: Massive spoiler if you click the spoiler box!

:flamethrower:

Pretty great Skyrim moment...

Was in a dungeon that had oil all over the ground and a hanging lantern above it. Was fighting some pretty tough Draugr dudes so I thought I'd be clever and lure them to an oil patch and shoot one of the lanterns down with my bow...

All was going well and according to plan, the Draugr followed... I had everything lined up... I shot the lanterns beautifully with my slow-down time archery perk... but I just happened to shoot the lantern as the Draugr was shouting. The lantern began to fall... then his shout carried it and it literally smashed on my face lighting me and the oil patch behind me on fire.
I died and hadn't saved for the whole dungeon.

I couldn't even be mad, it was amazing.

Can this be merged here:


http://www.gamesas.com/index.php?/topic/1291559-funny-skyrim-stories/page__st__60__gopid__19514886#entry19514886

decided to head outside the map (turned off the borders) and I literally fell in to a glitched spot, sent my character rag dolling from the borders of cyrodil straight to the very far north-western coast (if you open up your map, its pretty much the furthest point NW you can see until the map doesn't progress any further) and I ended up seeing this beaty of a http://i42.tinypic.com/frypd.png

Some seriously funny stuff in this thread! I won't repeat my ultra funnies as I already posted in another thread, but I have seen a flying Pit Wolf and a flying Mammoth recently. The Mammoth went straight up in the air and then walked toward another one and stood on its back.Awesome.

I had a bad texture moment when I went up the west watchtower near Whiterun. There were some Necromancers out at the edge of the woods with frost spells, all I could see though were plumes of white shooting along the ground in arcs and circles. It was very cool. It wasn't until one of them ran towards the tower and the guards that I could see who and what they were. I think they had been fighting some wolves.

Oh and I had one of those 'dragon gives up trying to roast me in favour of mudcrab bowling' moments, I felt so insignificant. I mean I am the bloody DRAGONBORN you can't just forget to fight me because a mudcrab was nearby. And ghosts ain't no joke when a Dragon attacks.

There were two topics the same so I have merged them, if things are a little out of order I apologize but the merge is done on a time of posts.

My story is funny and bad for me. I had just killed a Dragon, absorbed it's soul and then a second or two later I go flying +300 feet into the air. A Giant must've hit me with his club, my jaw hit the floor and I was like "What the hell happened there".

I used Ice Form on a bandit one time on a mountain slope, thinking, of course, that she would slide down the mountain and either die or leave me alone. Instead, she starts twirling like Gandalf being hit with two staves by Saruman, then ragdolls into the air and starts fluttering around like a psychotic frozen butterfly. My gf and I were laughing so hard at this that neither of us noticed when the rest of the bandits started attacking us until I was at half health. I had to stop watching the frozen bandit to fight the rest of them, so I never found out what happened to her.

Fighting a bandit plunderer that says he'll mount my head on his wall and then I chopped his head off one second later lol.

Was up north in the glaciers looking for an ice wraith to kill. Saw a polar bear (ice bear) take on two warlurus (forget the name). Felt bad for poor walruses and engaged the bear....he jumped into the ocean and swam away, underneath the water....I tried to follow but he took off.

This isn't as much funny as glorious..

I was minding my own business at Azura's shrine, and a wild dragon appeared! Before it really took notice of me, another dragon appeared as well. They then proceeded to have a heated verbal debate with each other. As some might know, Azura's shrine is near a Dragon nest thing, and soon the argument attracted its attention, and it decided to throw in its own opinion. Now TWO dragons in combat is awesome enough, but THREE.. now that is just fantastic.

So, naturally, I did what anyone would do in this situation. I watched, awestruck. Oh, and

Picture that.

Just.. picture that..

O...M...G...

Pics? A video, perhaps??

I was near Azura's Shrine by Winterhold and as I'm walking around the shrine, I look up to the sky only to find a random severely crippled floating horse with his legs bent up around his back to his chin.

I guess there's a new School of Magic that someone in Skyrim has yet to tell me about. :dance:

Getting every guard in solitude to chase me into a corridor, the Fus Roh Dahing like 10 guards all at once. It was beautiful.

You know, when you shout inside a city... Then a guard asks you to stop and bla bla bla...

I was fighting a dragon, and this random guard stopped me to ask me to stop shouting...

He died 5 seconds later... (Dragon killed him)

Going into solitude and to destroy the city. Epic.