After selling all my loot and stashing the others to my house at Whiterun, I fast traveled to a town near to my next quest location. When I get there, I heard a loud roar... so I was preparing and bracing myself for another dragon encoutner, I look up and saw the dragon circling around the town and all the people are running to safety. So I look up again and try to find where the dragon is, then suddenly I can't move? I said WTF? Then there this kid voice talking to me, "They say you are blah blah blah... can you make me invisible?" I was like WTF kid can't you see there's a dragon? Then the text option appeared like "Yes I can make you invisible, Later I'm busy, and No I can't" something like that. So I selected "I was busy", cause there was a freaking dragon hovering above me. After I selected the option I was able to move again, running around while looking up, trying to lure the dragon to land. Then I can't move again... I was like WTF now?!? Then the same voice was talking to me again and said "can you now make me invisible? please? please? please? I was like If I can only look down fast enough I would freaking hack you to death you brat!!! Then the selection came again and I said "No I can't" the kid was like owww I blah blah blah (talking in dissapointment) I was like FU kid! then I look up again trying to find the dragon only to see it flew away. I was like aaarrrggghhh Where the [censored] are you you [censored] maggot! I'm going to kill you!!!!

:swear:

I wolfed out when I had first acquired the power from the companions, and smacked someones head clear off their shoulders. What made it funny was I got it in slow mo, with a perfect angle to see the head go sailing over the fort walls and deeeeeep into the forest.

I made an effort afterwards to try and find it (was going to take it home and keep it in breezehome as a memento) but boy did I hit THAT one out of the park. :biggrin:

That was my first ever decapitation. Thanks Skyrim. :thumbsup:

Just yesterday this happened:

I sneak killed a random guard in Riften, because he said something racist.
Some hours later i went back to Riften and checked out the body, when a guard come along and stopped before me and said "I'm gonna find whoever did this!"

I couldn't do anything else other than laugh as how basically i was standing before him



Actually it was. I talked to that guy as well and no dragon appeared after he said that.

The guy that runs the stables in Whiterun, forget his name, somehow got stuck, waist deep, in the ground. You walk over to him and he'll look up and talk to you. I let him be and after a few dozen trips through Whiterun there was a clone of him, standing next to his half body self. The clone stood guard over his stuck master. A few trips later, and there was another, and now there is a fourth. They all stand around the same spot.

Another good one was when I killed a dragon in Farkreath, I went to loot it and absorbed its soul and there, still standing, in it's belly, was...a goat...looking at me through the ribcage like nothing had happened, just chewing along.

Oh yeah, I was working on the quest to free an individual from his contract (I had the quest to go get an item he had lost). On the way out of town he yelled "I will kill you!" and then charged at me. The homeless woman, whom I had previously donated to, ran up to him and fought him, with a knife, and ended up getting a shiv execution on the guy. I gladly donated to her a second time, went and found the item, returned it, and placed the termination of his contact on his corpse. If he had only waited about 5 minutes...

During the quest:

Having a bandit talk to me while I cut off his/her head. And yes, it's happened more than other.

was shooting arrows at a draon that was flying around, while my bow was loaded, i kept tracking the dragon expecting it to come over this boulder i was hiding behind, over comes an argonian that engages me in conversation...needles to say the dragon also comes strafing and i hit tab to exit conversation and shoot the argonian straight in his head, while i slowly burn to death. never found out what that argonian wanted either.

also:

had a kajit follower with me when a dragonfly flies into him, pushing him into the air for meters on end then dropping him in the middle of a giants camp quite far away, who then just stood around his dead body which had all my good loot in it...i sighed and just walked away.

I went back to a fort i allready cleared to get a questitem from there, the bandits respawned allready and while sneaking around, hidden mind you, one comes running up to me and asks if he can keep that armor i dropped there the last time, he proceeds to thank me and then alarms the entire fort to my presence...last time i did something generous for anyone in Skyrim.

After getting lydia killed in a random dungeon, i just left her there, weeks later after the attack on whiterun, i go back to my house there and find her dead body in her bedroom....with my loot from back then as well. creepy


ow yeah: if you use that shout that staggers mobs (unrelenting shout?) on a dragons corpse it hardly moves, even when you have all 3 words for it, but throw 1 fireball at it and it goes flying right out of the map

So I'm doing A Night To Remember, trying to figure out what the heck me and that Sam guy did while we were wasted, when I'm told to go talk to Ysolda. Ysolda? Ysolda my wife? What's she got to do with this? So I go to talk to her and she starts ranting at me about how she sold me a wedding ring on credit because I seemed so in love with some dude and she couldn't bear to let me down. The entire time I was steeling myself for a, "Why did you ask me to sell you a wedding ring, honey? I'M YOUR FREAKING WIFE!" but it never came. What a chill girl, man. I get incredibly drunk, almost marry a complete stranger and generally make a fool of myself and she doesn't even blink.

:rofl:

Lydia died in a dragon fight pretty early in the game. A few (ingame) weeks later I decided to marry. All my old companions come to the wedding, and with all I mean someone brought Lydias corpse to the wedding. Really creepy.

A Khajiid also came to my wedding (I suppose because I married Ysolda) and when he walked away from Riften (I was standing near the carriage) he said something to me in an extremely calm voice while walking and slowly sinking into the ground. It was basically as if he was walking down stairs, except it was a straight road.

A man came up to me, out in the wild, and asked me to hold something for him. I was suspicious of the man, of course, because he asked in such a suspicious and rushed manner. I decided to do so, against my better judgement. Barely a minute later, another fellow ran up to me, asking if I'd seen a man with, oddly enough, the very object I'd been given. I told him so, and the man revealed that the other had been a thief and stolen it. I returned the goods. This new person then went off after the first, hunting him down with a bow and arrow. I decided to follow along and watch.

When the deed was done, the first man's life snuffed out by the tender mercy of a well aimed arrow, I was of two minds. The first tried to reason that this game doesn't have a positional damage system, and that I shouldn't ponder the subject long. However, the other part of my mind just couldn't help wonder, "How did he die from being shot in the buttocks with an arrow?"

:clap:

Happened to me too. He got really strangely twisted, and started the execution dialogue while he was running back to his original place.

That makes it even more epic. And funny.

Had that happen to me too. Crazy exhibitionist.

Killception. :mohawk:

Back when I was a level 1 strapling I ran across a room with a packed bunch of skeletons milling around, figuring that the 6-1 odds weren't in my favor I searched through my packs and found a scroll of fireball that had been lying around, "nice" I thought, one quick cast and they all should be gone. The plan would have worked perfectly, except that I didn't notice that I was standing in some of that gunk that spills out of urns until after the huge explosion... yeah, apparently that stuff is very flammable. Who knew?

I was doing the old "get back from bar play skyrim" which is never a good choice, and started going off on anything I would see with Lydia admirably in tow. I would always revert to save whenever she died but for some reason drunk me just said [censored] it when she got mauled by a dragon and 2 mammoths. Coudn't find her body for the life of me though. Needless to say I woke up the next morning and carried on my last save working to get a new companion now that Lydia was dead and decided to go with Mjoll. Probably a week in game later, while in Whiterun rushing out of the gates to meet a Stormcloak attack, who do i see lying in the courtyard with a mob around her questioning what happened, "Hm poor poor girl". [censored] Lydia.

The real laugh was when I took back all my gear to sell to the blacksmith and she was naked and lying there with a mob of guards around her. Those guards' inner rapists always come out eventually.

Random Encounter Involving a Cow:

:twirl:

Aww.....no more funny stories? :cold:

A dragon attacks a village. I tried to help the guards but one of them got in my way then one of them wanted to arrest me. So while I was choosing if I want to pay or go to prison, I was watching in the background as the guards mauled the dragon and one of them heroically jumped on his head to deliver the fatal blow. That guy put my Santa Claus Cancer Patient Mage to shame.

Thought it fit.