Funny Skyrim Stories Thread #--- : V

» Tue Dec 13, 2011 8:19 am

Ok, so post your funny stories here.... GO!

#1. Sneak attacked a skeleton, succeeded but one of his bones rolled down the hill in the cave, hit a pressure plate which caused a jug of fire to fall down on a track of oil which burnt me alive....

» Tue Dec 13, 2011 5:05 pm

Snuck into a house, nobody was home so I started to loot, all of a sudden I hear "okay mommy..." I try booking it downstairs and outside, but it was too late, I was trapped inside a bedroom, the woman moved so I got the chance to get downstairs, only for her to turn around, I ran into the closest room, I close the door and look around, and the little girl is sleeping in there.

My failure thief moment.

» Tue Dec 13, 2011 12:13 pm

Snuck into a house, nobody was home so I started to loot, all of a sudden I hear "okay mommy..." I try booking it downstairs and outside, but it was too late, I was trapped inside a bedroom, the woman moved so I got the chance to get downstairs, only for her to turn around, I ran into the closest room, I close the door and look around, and the little girl is sleeping in there.

My failure thief moment.

LOL! *steps outside bedroom* "Look Ma'am, here's your stuff, i'm clearly not cut-out for this kind of work... have a nice night"

» Tue Dec 13, 2011 5:30 pm

tried to save a prisoner the thalmor were taking in for questioning, so i attack the thalmor and the prisoner helps them beat me to death

Another one a dragon appears near a town and i was fighting it. The dragon then lands in the town and the guards start attacking it and one old unarmed woman sees this and rather than run like most of the citizens, she runs up to the dragon and starts punching it, forcing me to run straight at it to save her life. I barley killed it before she got eaten

» Tue Dec 13, 2011 12:03 pm

My only funny story is how I run like a little girl whenever I see a dragon......I'm still a low level.

» Tue Dec 13, 2011 10:24 am

I fast traveled to Rift. Upon arriving, I was attacked at the gates by a Dragon. It landed fairly quickly right next to the guards. I was too busy fighting it to wonder why there were 6 guards at the gate, but we all fought and killed it fairly quickly.

The corpse burning up, I can still hear the sounds of fighting. Confused, I looked around to find three guard fighting three hired thugs! I stood back and watched the guards slaughter them. I laughed, looted the corpse to find the contract for my death then looted the dragon. I silently thanked the guards, started to head into the city and was stopped by a naked courier who wanted to tell me about a word wall.

» Tue Dec 13, 2011 12:03 pm

I fast traveled to Rift. Upon arriving, I was attacked at the gates by a Dragon. It landed fairly quickly right next to the guards. I was too busy fighting it to wonder why there were 6 guards at the gate, but we all fought and killed it fairly quickly.

The corpse burning up, I can still hear the sounds of fighting. Confused, I looked around to find three guard fighting three hired thugs! I stood back and watched the guards slaughter them. I laughed, looted the corpse to find the contract for my death then looted the dragon. I silently thanked the guards, started to head into the city and was stopped by a naked courier who wanted to tell me about a word wall.

The same exact thing happened to me...

» Tue Dec 13, 2011 6:33 am

I was on the side of a mountain fighting a dragon and it flew away to the other side of this giant rock. Me being in my "i want to kill something ugly" mode, I followed it to find a polar bear and a mudcrab killing the dragon and succeeding. Me again wanting to kill something killed the mudcrab for taking my kill while I was being mauled to death by the polar bear.

» Tue Dec 13, 2011 5:52 pm

I had a funny moment with my companion Stenvar when I gave him the staff of magnus to hold onto for a second since I was overencumbered. Now take into account that Stenvar is a hardcoe warrior, not in any way accustomed to magic or how it works. As we enter the next part of the dungeon I charge into battle against some draugr when suddenly I get hit in the back of the head with a spell. Then again and again and again. I turn around to see Stenvar wildy pointing the staff in every which way as magic pours out of it uncontrolably. All the while Stenvar is exclaiming "Woah! WOAH!!!" as if he's having trouble controlling it or something because he's not accustomed to using staves. It's moments like this that really make me love this game :tes:

» Tue Dec 13, 2011 1:50 pm

I set my map marker to Rorikstead. I walk up the trail, following some deer, because I use bows on that character. So I run up and pull out my dual daggers and stab that poor deer to death. Then I felt a strange feeling of danger. "Something big is behind me......", because I heard some other deer squeals. I turn around to see a freakin' giant sabre cat in my face, so I turned my back and dashed. I ran toward the water, fell down 10 rapids until I hit a waterfall, and then I jumped down the waterfall and my life ended. BTW, I had no health potions.

» Tue Dec 13, 2011 9:58 am

I was on the side of a mountain fighting a dragon and it flew away to the other side of this giant rock. Me being in my "i want to kill something ugly" mode, I followed it to find a polar bear and a mudcrab killing the dragon and succeeding. Me again wanting to kill something killed the mudcrab for taking my kill while I was being mauled to death by the polar bear.

Lol, I once killed a dragon with the help of like... 4 guards and a Giant. When we finished I turned around to give the giant a high-five and he crushed me with his club. When I respawned outside the cave I came from, the same dragon crashed to the ground in front of me already dead so I took his soul.

» Tue Dec 13, 2011 7:26 pm

Walked into Riverwood and whipped out the Wabbajack. Let chaos reign!

» Tue Dec 13, 2011 5:14 pm

I set my map marker to Rorikstead. I walk up the trail, following some deer, because I use bows on that character. So I run up and pull out my dual daggers and stab that poor deer to death. Then I felt a strange feeling of danger. "Something big is behind me......", because I heard some other deer squeals. I turn around to see a freakin' giant sabre cat in my face, so I turned my back and dashed. I ran toward the water, fell down 10 rapids until I hit a waterfall, and then I jumped down the waterfall and my life ended. BTW, I had no health potions.

lol, this is sounding like that one scene from "Avatar", very funny = D

» Tue Dec 13, 2011 8:59 pm

Oh, another one. I was doing a quest to find a super secret dungeon (I won't say which to avoid spoilers). Needless to say, this dungeon was so super secret that no one was meant to have been in there for a hundred years. This was one of those quests that gave me two people to follow me around and help me out. They weren't followers, as I couldn't issue commands to them.

We had a big epic fight out the front against two dragons and a city full of forsworn. It was amazing and the skies were blazing with fire, frost, arrows and magic, but that's not the point of this story. The four of us (myself, Aela and my two new quest friends) won the day and proceeded into the first half of the dungeon (the one that people knew about, not the super secret one).

Upon entering, Aela was nowhere to be seen. I figured she'd been left outside because I had too many followers. I was cool with that, she'll just go home eventually. We fought our way through the entry level of the dungeon and found our way to the super secret part of it. Upon entering, one of my new quest friends (the more scholarly one) near has an aneurism about being one of the first people to step inside in over a hundred years. Me being the spelunker that I am, left him to his excited splutterings and started to explore.

So I find a room with just a barrel in it. And Aela. Just standing in the room. She beat us! It didn't make any sense! I couldn't stop laughing at her just standing there as if to say "what took you guys so long?" while my quest friends were ranting and raving about this amazing untouched find.

» Tue Dec 13, 2011 10:39 pm

One time when i was playing i was doing a certain mission where i had to take a certain dagger and stab a certain tree... upon doing so i was chased down by 2 spriggans...not even being level 10 and all they repeatedly killed me so i made a run for it... got outside only to find there was a dragon out there while my health was low. fought the dragon being cheap and hiding and shooting arrows...and i was running away the dragon shoots fire at me adn i jump in the water...get thrown down a waterfall and die...upon reloading i try to fight the dragon again and get massacred....upon another reload i run out make a mad dash for it dragon chases me adn i am lucky enough to run into a second dragon. so now ones shooting ice while the other fire. thought it might cancel each other out....dont work like that...it doubles damage. so im runnin for my life at this point. i make it toward an inn where i run inside adn everyone is freakin out. i go back outside to find one of the dragons is sitll there adn after killing a few guards we finally take it down.

» Tue Dec 13, 2011 9:09 am

One time when i was playing i was doing a certain mission where i had to take a certain dagger and stab a certain tree... upon doing so i was chased down by 2 spriggans...not even being level 10 and all they repeatedly killed me so i made a run for it... got outside only to find there was a dragon out there while my health was low. fought the dragon being cheap and hiding and shooting arrows...and i was running away the dragon shoots fire at me adn i jump in the water...get thrown down a waterfall and die...upon reloading i try to fight the dragon again and get massacred....upon another reload i run out make a mad dash for it dragon chases me adn i am lucky enough to run into a second dragon. so now ones shooting ice while the other fire. thought it might cancel each other out....dont work like that...it doubles damage. so im runnin for my life at this point. i make it toward an inn where i run inside adn everyone is freakin out. i go back outside to find one of the dragons is sitll there adn after killing a few guards we finally take it down.

So basically, the entire world of Skyrim decided to team up and ---- you?... yeah, that's life= D

» Tue Dec 13, 2011 4:58 pm

Oh, another one. I was doing a quest to find a super secret dungeon (I won't say which to avoid spoilers). Needless to say, this dungeon was so super secret that no one was meant to have been in there for a hundred years. This was one of those quests that gave me two people to follow me around and help me out. They weren't followers, as I couldn't issue commands to them.

We had a big epic fight out the front against two dragons and a city full of forsworn. It was amazing and the skies were blazing with fire, frost, arrows and magic, but that's not the point of this story. The four of us (myself, Aela and my two new quest friends) won the day and proceeded into the first half of the dungeon (the one that people knew about, not the super secret one).

Upon entering, Aela was nowhere to be seen. I figured she'd been left outside because I had too many followers. I was cool with that, she'll just go home eventually. We fought our way through the entry level of the dungeon and found our way to the super secret part of it. Upon entering, one of my new quest friends (the more scholarly one) near has an aneurism about being one of the first people to step inside in over a hundred years. Me being the spelunker that I am, left him to his excited splutterings and started to explore.

So I find a room with just a barrel in it. And Aela. Just standing in the room. She beat us! It didn't make any sense! I couldn't stop laughing at her just standing there as if to say "what took you guys so long?" while my quest friends were ranting and raving about this amazing untouched find.

wow, weird. Maybe she came in the back way?...

» Tue Dec 13, 2011 12:42 pm

One time when i was playing i was doing a certain mission where i had to take a certain dagger and stab a certain tree... upon doing so i was chased down by 2 spriggans...not even being level 10 and all they repeatedly killed me so i made a run for it...

That place is why I stopped playing my low level mage and switched over to a warrior. That quest was slaughtering me.

» Tue Dec 13, 2011 9:03 am

Walked into Riverwood and whipped out the Wabbajack. Let chaos reign!

wabbajackwabbajackwabbajackwabbajackwabbajackwabbajackwabbajack ^_^

» Tue Dec 13, 2011 12:10 pm

wabbajackwabbajackwabbajackwabbajackwabbajackwabbajackwabbajack ^_^

After you get Wabbajack there's this crazy old lady that comes up to you sometimes and asks to be Wabbajack'd... Shame because I never bring it with me = / Always wondered what happens if you do manage to use it on her.

» Tue Dec 13, 2011 6:19 pm

The funniest thing that's happened to me was a Wabbajack incident. 2 of them actually.

First off, I was with Lydia, doing the Icerunner mission, in the lower hold Lydia was fighting off some marauder's, I charged up my Wabbajack for the kill but accidentally hit Lydia, turning her into a chicken, and when she reappeared, she was dead.

Secondly, about 2 hours later, I was about to assassinate Gralof the Kind (sorry if that's not how it's spelt). I'm charging up my Wabbajack again, just to have some fun, and as I was about to fire it, I considered how unfortonate it would be if she were to turn into a Dremora. Ironicly enough, that's exactly what happened. I'm not quite sure what happened after that because I immediately ran out of Riften. But whatever happened, she did die in the end seeing as my task was succeeded.

» Tue Dec 13, 2011 7:13 am

Spoiler

Kept on dying On this one quest for the companions. These mages kept on killing me in this one cave. vexed i gave up to do something else. like get more ore form a mine. i mine some gold ore for jewelry and all of the sudden on the last vein in the mine the game gives me a flawless ruby!Incense time! I go to see peryite.

Do his quest and get Spellbreaker! I go back to that cave and i am happily dancing around with glee as the mages spells are completely useless against me.

» Tue Dec 13, 2011 2:36 pm

The funniest thing that's happened to me was a Wabbajack incident. 2 of them actually.

First off, I was with Lydia, doing the Icerunner mission, in the lower hold Lydia was fighting off some marauder's, I charged up my Wabbajack for the kill but accidentally hit Lydia, turning her into a chicken, and when she reappeared, she was dead.

Secondly, about 2 hours later, I was about to assassinate Gralof the Kind (sorry if that's not how it's spelt). I'm charging up my Wabbajack again, just to have some fun, and as I was about to fire it, I considered how unfortonate it would be if she were to turn into a Dremora. Ironicly enough, that's exactly what happened. I'm not quite sure what happened after that because I immediately ran out of Riften. But whatever happened, she did die in the end seeing as my task was succeeded.

She was probably already a Dremora lol... you just brought out her true nature with the Wabbajack (She's an evil bich).

» Tue Dec 13, 2011 7:12 am

She was probably already a Dremora lol... you just brought out her true nature with the Wabbajack (She's an evil bich).

Oh that she was, another fun one which I've never done myself but saw online, is someone doing the unarmed execution move on a certain someone at their wedding, for a certain quest.

» Tue Dec 13, 2011 7:42 am

i was approaching a random decmiated tower and a dragon flies around. first one i fight that spits frost...sweet. after a whiel it lands at teh end of a bridge right in front of a npc with a bow and some plain clothes. i kill the dragon then the npc starts talking to me and gives me a quest to escort him and protect him from bandits. ok...except..i realize now hes too enamored with the damn dead dragon to do anything for me! he just stands tehre. so i wander up to the decimated castle thing. i see npc's labeled as guards...some were cutting wod, others cooking and such. i go all the way up th tower and loot some stuff, turn around and 2 guards run into the room...then they go from "guards" to bandits! name changes in front of my eyes and they go hostile. i kill them all only to find the guy i got the quest from is also shooting me with them, so i promptly decapitate him.

by th time i figured otu what actually went wrong i was kinda impressed, even bandits have there own living animations.

edit: just had another one lol. when you first wakl into the companions the dunmer and some chick or fist fighting....but for some reason when i went in...they wouldnt stop! at all, i waited 10 minutse. so i shouted them and they took otu there weapons on me. i sheath my weapons and the dunmer stops attacking...but the lady starts attacking the dunmer...with her sword! needless to say she kills him quickly and im a proud owner of a skyforge sword without doing the companion quests >.<