That's part of what I mean about a connection needing to actually be there. I actually find James to be an interesting character in Fallout 3. But I never cared about him in relation to the Lone Wanderer, because they barely interacted. The relationship was mentioned, but the connection never really made. Similarly, if the spouse and son are only there in the beginning to set up lame twists, without an actual connection being established between the characters and the player, then the twist will fall on its face because it doesn't pack any dramatic weight.
I agree. Right now, the idea of Father vs Daughter or Mother vs Son is a lot more compelling to me than a Father vs Son struggle, even if it is reversed compared to how it usually is done.
I remember both stories, and New Vegas had a much bigger impact on me. Very little in Fallout 3 was very compelling to me, and while I found James to be an interesting character, his relationship with the Lone Wanderer isn't. But the power struggle between Mr. House, Caesar, and the NCR and all the lives that get affected by the outcome? The stories of all the companions? Joshua Graham? Father Elijah? The Think Tank? Ulysses? I found all of that to be fascinating.
But again the question becomes why is our marital status and child so important that it has to be riveted to the character? Does it actually serve the plot? If it's an integral part of the story, then absolutely. But if it isn't? If it's just an opening device meant to make you feel sad because you aren't going to see those particular character models anymore? If that's the case, then why bother forcing the character into a certain lifestyle rather than let the player choose it?
Considering Todd Howard talked about improving their storytelling techniques while refusing to tell us anything about the story, I'm not feeling generous enough to give him the benefit of the doubt.