Pfft, Why would I want one, All relationships are just money sinks.
Hmm now that I think about it, dating is just prolonged Prostitution. You buy gifts instead of paying the money directly to them. And in the end you get the same service.
Yeah, but spouses can be claimed as dependants/tax deductions.
They also hold your hair when you puke, bring you coffee, tell you when you are wrong, and bring you back down to earth when you need it. You don't have to pay them to take you to your doctor appointment, help change diapers, rub your back, take care of your parents, and a million other things that people who genuinely care about each other do.