If an ES God(ess) were to be found incognito drinking at a t : The Elder Scrolls Series Discussion

» Fri May 27, 2011 8:41 am

I dunno, St. Aralor?

» Fri May 27, 2011 5:07 am

Jyggalag would try to bulldoze the bar and build a Walmart over it.

Walmart is too chaotic, with all those people leaving things in the isles willy nilly--- random people in a random assortment buying random things--- It would sicken Jyg.

What he would create instead is a library with the books chained to the shelves so nobody can move them.

» Fri May 27, 2011 8:54 am

@Wierd
An icecream stand with only one flavor.

» Fri May 27, 2011 5:47 am

An icecream stand with only one flavor.

And only one ingredient.

» Fri May 27, 2011 5:18 am

And only one ingredient.

And its hours are strictly 12-6. If it ever closes at 6:01, there will be HELL to pay!! :swear:

» Fri May 27, 2011 7:18 am

Luckily, her Vvardenfell statues were imported.

Just barely, they were made in the wild period she was married to Seth (according to Jubilees and all) and she was playing with the moon and star at the bar. Then after waking up with a hangover and swearing never to do that again, she left Seth and converted to Islam leaving the red rose behind. Now she wears a Jilbāb and the Dark Elves fear her freakouts.

Azura is the goddess of beginnings, endings, and unnatural beauty.
She would take interest in the tales of heros, because they rise to power, and then decline enigmatically. While the story tellers would tell the old tale of the heros of old, Azura would tell the stories of their youth, and old age.

But she would leave out the body of the story every time, her telling of Dr. Seuss would go:

Do you like
green eggs and ham?

I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.
I do not like
green eggs and ham.

I do so like
green eggs and ham!
Thank you!
Thank you,
Sam-I-am!

What's really being left out of the conversation though is how the nine divines are based off the Brady Bunch. Just think about it for two seconds and you'll agree, you'll even have a revelation of how much it aligns.

Akatosh - Alice
We all know who keeps things moving in that damn house! If she didn't hold the family together they'd all lose their groove and spot in the evening lineup.

Arkay - Greg
Oh he grows up to be an obstetrician. He never got over seeing Marcia naked.

Dibella - Marcia
Seeing how impressed Greg was at seeing her naked, she became a professional.

Julianos - Mike
The only college educated Brady. The only one that can read, actually.

Kynareth - Cindy
Wouldn't leave people the hell alone, they left her in the woods where she couldn't get back.

Mara - Carol
Love, fertility, mother goddess? The way she cranks out kids she doesn't need the other two!

Stendarr - Peter
The guy who saves little girls and joins the military? Yeah that's him.

Talos - Jan
Always wishes people would pay attention to her, the insecure wanna-be.

Zenithar - Bobby
Tried to be famous, but settled for an office job.

» Fri May 27, 2011 11:45 am

sheogorath would be fun, since has more or less two personalities ...