Capital Wasteland

ahem...we have a mix up (one moment please)

Washington DC
(Ten hours before the bombs drop)

9am



"An anti-radiation blanket?" The woman asked, holding up a battered and worn out quilt.

"Yes'm, one of a kind! Can't find that anywhere else." That's Japhy Smith, a salesman. I'm sorry, calling him a salesman wouldn't even give the title of salesman dignity. Let's call him a scam artist shall we? His store? Japhy's Junk. But a convenient switcharoo a day prior and what is it now? Japhy's Survival Shop: What you need for when everything goes to hell (which could be at any moment!). Yes, that's the full title. I wish I was making this up, but I'm just narrating. I play it as I see it. Anyways...

"Yeah, one with holes covered with duct tape."

"That's anti-radiation duct tape to you. One free roll with purchase."

"How do you know it works?"

"How does Vault-Tec know that their vaults will work? It's all a matter of..."

"Because they have been engineered by great minds sir, great minds! Are you one of them? Hmm?

"Quite frankly Miss, I only get product from geniuses. I mean, whoever invented duct tape was a great mind as is. But the man who made duct tape that prevents radiation sickness? A great mind!"

"Do you know him?"

"Can't say I had the pleasure of becoming acquainted. Maybe someday."

"If the bombs don't get him first. I'll take one roll of that tape please."

"No blanket?"

"I'm sort of in a jam in regards to money."

"Ah I see. Well you won't be needing it with all this talk of bombs."

"Oh yes those confounded things. It makes me wonder what will happen to the economy!"

"Hah as far as I'm concerned there will be no economy! As far as I'm concerned we'll go from the dollar to the bottle cap."

"I hear you on that one! I keep finding them all around my house. I swear, I don't drink those Nuka Colas but they keep showing up."

"Well you're in luck then. Better stock up!"

"You know I will! Take 'em with me to the vaults. Already reserved mine. Have you got one ready sir?"

"Uh oh yeah! Single suite just for me."

"I didn't know they had suites. These vaults didn't strike me as hotels."

"Of course! One dollar for the duct tape m'am. Have a good day!"

In truth he had nothing. Heck, he didn't really even have a home (if you don't count sleeping on a sofa in the storage room of the store). It was one big bluff. Japhy needed a vault like no one's business. He wouldn't survive when the bombs dropped. No man in their right mind above the dirt would. He needed a space in the vaults. But those [censored] things required a bit of money: Sixty dollars. And by God it was the convenient time of the year where ol' Japhy was near broke. Of course by playing into the whole nuke scare he'd get some willing customers. Well he's one dollar in. Can he make it in time? Hell I don't know, let's find out...

Intersting read.

Well, who's this story following, the Misses or Japhy? and also, I really want you to increase that entrance fee into the vaults (they never specified how much its costs, but it was known that it was for higher class workers, so 600 would probably suffice over six as an educated guess.

Also, I like the bottle cap reference, but I wished it was more played into. For instance, instead of him just picking bottle caps "coincidentally out of the blue", you could have had him drinking a Nuka Cola bottle the whole time he was talking. The dialogue could have went like this:

"Hah, as far as I'm concerned there will be no economy!" He followed this with another swig of his Nuka Cola, downing it completely this time. And when it was done,he discarded the glass, tossing it off to the side. It shattered and rolled far from the proper range to do damage to the pair. "As far as I'm concerned we'll go from..." He trailed off, inspecting the forlorn Nula Cola cap on the desk in front of him. He had been looking at it, noticing for what seemed to be the first time the nifty little shape of it. In fact, it was far from the first time, as with the rest of his belongings, he had been stashing Nuka Cola caps for the past year. They were his favorite drink; and one day, when Nuka Cola was upstarted by another likeable, tasty beverage, he would make a fortune from them dollar to the bottle cap. "Dollars to bottle caps." He said smiling, pocketing his souvenir for later collection.

See? That's my take on things at least. Great story. Good writing.

EXCELLENT!!

P.S. That was actually fun to write.

I don't think the overly descriptive paragraph really fits with the style of the story but I could be wrong.

Well, if it had been my writing it would be a different kind of story. I was just using that as a template to stress the importance of foreshadowing to enhance the comedy. That's all. He can choose o go with it or not, its still a great story.